Inside Kimmy's Mind

Woah. I hate being confused. So in order to not be confused I ask tons of annoying questions over and over until I am no longer confused. Which sometimes takes a while in order for that to happen. What can I say? I like to make sure I heard everything correct so there are no misunderstandings.

I am really dense. If you don’t say exactly what you mean then I probably won’t understand. Which makes me confused and irritated. I like understanding things from other peoples point of views. But if you don’t spell it out for me then I will forever be in the dark and misunderstand you. I might even create my own version of what you’re trying to say. Which is most likely far from the actual truth. Is that what you want? I think not.

But anyway, I have a cousin that is starting a new relationship. My cousin and I are completely different. And we each do things differently. So we don’t always agree with each others advice. Anyway the guy she is now seeing is completely different from the guys she normally dates. And she is being extremely impatient. He is what you call a gentleman. You know the kind? They respect their date by not immediately attacking her when the lights go out in the movie theater. Especially on a first date. She is my cousin, so I don’t mean to judge her. But her logic is WRONG! And she needs to keep her urges in her pants. Which is exactly what I told her. I mean I don’t have tons of experience so its not like I should be giving relationship advice. But this is what I see as common sense. Why rush things? The whole beginning of a relationship is one of the best parts in my opinion. The timid dates and the flirting, along with the sweet compliments that seem to never end. I mean its beautiful…O.o…What is this? Some type of Hallmark card? That was so cheesy. But I think you see my point. If not? Then…go watch an 80’s teen movie. They are nothing but cheesy. And I love them.

The bit of song I have included in this entry is by Mika and its called You Made Me. I love Mika.[audio:http://numb.honey-vanity.net/wp-content/uploads/2009/08/YouMadeMe-Mika.mp3]

Liking someone. Is it just something that happens without us realizing it? Is there a particular reason that makes you find a person irresistible? I mean does it start off as so insignificant that it slowly turns into something important to you? All of these rhetorical questions just bury themselves in my thoughts as they overlap and I over analyze something that was just hypothetical to begin with. This is one of my problems. I over think every little word that is said and I forget if the actual words that I am trying to see were even said to begin with. Does this make sense? If not? My bad. Sigh.

Ok Japan has a ton of cute things that I wish we had here. One of the things I wish we had here is Purikura photo booths. Now we have photo booths here. But lets face it.They suck. And lately I haven’t seen any photo booths around to tell you the truth. There is no longer an arcade in my towns mall. And the photo booths they used to have are now gone. I think. Tomorrow…I mean later today I am on a quest to find a sticker photo booth. I’m sure I won’t be able to find one in my town because there isn’t any. But it could be that I haven’t actually had a need for one. But anyway going back to Purikura and its awesomeness. I know I can always find brushes for it on photoshop but I have always wanted to print out stickers and such. I found this site that lets you make purikura and order sticker sets like you get in Japan. Just click on the picture of Kat and me. It will take you to the site. Or click here if you are the type to skim and only click on highlighted things that appear to be links.

The other day I went to a store called Calico Cats Sewing Center. I didn’t get a good look around because they were closing. But I now I know where I can buy nice fabric. Of course its like 8 bucks a yard so thats annoying. But this is a family owned business it looks like. This is a picture from the net. But I intend to take pictures of my own later today. From what little I saw I am already in love with the store. Mom also took us to Hastings where I got the sequel to Evermore. Which is Blue Moon.  I love getting new books. I wish I could get a job at Hastings in the book department. Sigh. I will get a job. I am not giving up!

So I have a quest to fulfill later today. And to find the other fabric store that my sister says exist. I should go to sleep now. Night night.

“Adults are like kids…
Day and night are the same…
Friends are like lovers…
To like is also to love…
Its’s easy to say this,
but it’s never this easy in life. When I’m with you, I’ll know the answer.”- Akira Shouko

My sister and I would baby sit our neighbors cat. It started when my sister was like 12 who is now 24, and then after she left home I started taking care of Spicy with Kathy when I was 13 or so. I am now 19 and I have up til now took care of this cat when her owners go out of town. But sadly she has past away.

I know she was old, and I know all things come to an end. But I never thought it would happen. I can’t imagine how Laura must feel finding her beloved pet cat dead. Being an owner of two cats myself I know how attached one can get. They may be pets but they are still family. Spicy was the sweetest cat I knew. She would rub against my leg waiting for me to feed her. And then brush her coat when she was finished eating. Sometimes I would fall asleep there and wake up with her sleeping next to me or on me. I’m going to miss Spicy.

I already missed a day this month, and I could just go back and add an entry and just pretend it was written on that day. But I have decided I wouldn’t cheat. So I will try again next month, and during that time I will be better prepared and make sure that I update my blog every day that month. Plus next month is my birthday and I will have already started classes so I should have much more to update with. But I will eventually do the whole month of blogging thing. I should try to make my blog less boring. But I have no clue on how to do that so…yeah.

… continue reading this entry.

I haven’t slept since my last blog. I am trying to make it to 5 or 6 pm until I can go to sleep. Because then I can sleep the whole night and not wake up at like 1 am or something. So I finished another bag. I had to do something to fight the sleep, and it worked seeing as I am still up right now. But as soon as it is the ok sleep zone, I will be out like a light. The sooner the better.>I had a ton written before. But for some odd reason it didn’t save and now it is all gone.Well seeing as I have to have something to update with for today. I decided to keep that for todays update.

So yeah this will remain my shortest entry.

I am trying to make a purse. But it isn’t coming out the way I want it to. I for the love of chocolate cannot draw/cut a straight line. I’m not sure why. But isn’t that something you learn in like the first grade?

The night before I made Kat a Japanese knot purse. It came out better than I thought it would. Now I am trying to make myself a sling purse. Lets just say things aren’t working out. But I will not give up. I am using Beatles fabric and I can’t just waste this fabric unless I intend to use it. So its too late to go back now. I must continue on. I know I said that would try to update every day this month, but maybe I should just try every day this week or something? lol I will still try every day this month though. TrueBlood should be coming on tonight so I’m going to watch that and hope it will get me in a more positive mood. I finished making my sling purse. I think I did a two steps wrong.  But oh well you can only learn from your mistakes right? Its reversible, unless I decide to put pockets in it.

I think I’m going to attempt updating every day this month. I doubt I will be able to, its not like my life isn’t  that exciting. I’m sure I will be able to think of topics because my brain is always thinking of the most oddest things. But its just picking one that isn’t too boring. Lets see if I can do it. If not then I will try next month. >_<

Missy’s bridal shower was a success. I mean I had fun. I was so afraid that the games would be boring and that the guest wouldn’t want to play the games and whatnot. But they did. I was happy. I did take video of Missy looking absolutely hot in a huge bra and underwear and a boa along with a huge night gown and some crazy socks. I intend to post the video on here soon. I would have had more pictures but I forgot to put the battery back into the camera after it was done charging. I am so stupid. So I could only have a dailybooth with Missy. But I intend to have pictures from the Bachlorette party and of course the wedding itself. I love Missy! After the Bridal Shower I came home and then mom decided we were going to go to church. I was so sleepy and hungry. I stayed up the night before printing out question sheets for the shower. But the main reason I was up late was because I was making Kat a purse. A Japanese Knot Purse to be exact. I followed different tutorials online. Most of them were very difficult. But Kat and I thought it through together. Of course we also annoy the hell out of each other. Not my fault that Kat likes fighting with me. I am so sleepy. Even as I type this out I am falling asleep. I still have to wash the dishes and then take a shower. But I am trying to update before its midnight. I guess I can add pictures later.

Ok I keep dozing off here. It was my god brother’s birthday today. So I got to see my god parents. My god father is so funny. He starting going on and on about my converse shoes saying how he used to have a pair of high tops for basketball. Then some how pink shoes were introduced in the conversation, then he asked my dad to dance. And then dad told him no and hurt his feelings. lol

My Godmother and me.

Then my Godfather wanted to get into the pictures. I was going to take them separate. But he interrupted the picture taking. My face is so red. I do not photograph well in certain lights. I mean I’m not really photogenic at all. But ever since I started blogging more, and getting a dailybooth I have wanted to use my camera all the time now.

You know that thing? What’s it called? Love?… I’m sure everyone has felt this feeling at least once in their lifetime. I mean maybe a glimmer of it? If not, then don’t worry your time will come. Of course there are different types of love. Theres the family love, and then there is the love you have for you friends. And then there is the kind everyone can’t wait to experience. Yeah the romantic kind.

I mean I know I am usually sarcastic about this stuff. But that doesn’t mean I don’t hope to experience it too. You know the whole cheesy cloud nine, you’re “The One” nonsense? Yup that too. But I do not want to be the type of girl that is incredibly depressed for being single. I mean yeah being in a relationship can be a wonderful high. But I do not need a guy to make me happy. I am happy… well at the moment I’m hungry and bored. But there is still some happiness in there somewhere. I mean I have no hate towards the lovey dovey people that are currently in romantic relationships, and I don’t pity the people that are trying to discover a way to confess their love at this very moment. And to the married couples/engaged couples, congrats on finding “The One”. … continue reading this entry.

I registered for the upcoming fall semester. Great, back to worrying about homework and tests and waking up for class on time. Productiveness.

Ok maybe I’m a tad bit happy about going back to school. Maybe? I mean don’t get me wrong I love sleeping late and just being lazy and not having to worry about anything. But even that can be a tad bit boring. I wish I had a job over the summer. But that didn’t happen. But once school starts again all of the annoying High School students will quit their jobs and then establishments will have no choice but to hire people like me. Why does that sound like a put down? >_< Anyway, my classes this semester are as follows: … continue reading this entry.

I was talking to my friend Dustin, the other day. We were making plans to hang out again on Friday. And we got on the subject of memories again. And It made me think. As we get older we forget the little details of things. But I think sometimes the memories we forget are brought back by a picture or video or a scent all by accident. Something that jogs our memory to that time and place. But why?

That got me thinking about the memories we do remember. Why do we remember them? Like my senior English teacher said, “Repetition and trauma.” Is how you remember something. But I think if its good or if its something that made you happy, you would remember it as well. But lets face it trauma/embarrassing moments trumps happiness. And you are not quick to forget the horrible things in life. Sigh. Anyway talking with Dustin made me think of how I was as a kid. I mean I know I am different from then. I know a ton of things now that I didn’t even knew existed as a child. (simpler times) But as we get older how does the brain file away memories? I mean do we remember everything and our brains just decide which details to share with us and which ones we forget? I stop to think and I only remember a bit of my time with Dustin. Like I remember a few things but not a lot. And he was one of my best friends in Elementary. Of course when I moved away we grew apart. But still that was a big chunk of my childhood. Of course I still don’t remember the first time I was introduced to him. That’s sad. But hey we were five, and you can’t blame me for not remembering something that happened what 14 years ago?

But then I have memories of days in Preschool (before then)where sometimes nothing exciting or happy happened to me. It was just an ordinary day like any other. Why do I remember days like that? One for example is when we traced our profile using our shadow. I mean I remember sitting in the chair by the door in the dark while the teacher shined the light to cast a shadow of my profile which was traced by another teacher. Why do I remember that? Then of course I remember when BJ (boy I liked) would give me rings from those gum ball machines and I would then lose them in the playground. But he would keep giving me them always saying,” Don’t take it to the playground and lose it.” Which I would always say,”I won’t lose it. I promise.” And of course it would result in me losing it. -_- Yup I never did learn my lesson. But I mean why would I remember these things? Another preschool memory is of the hallway outside my classroom and we are sitting on benches to go to the bathroom. And I just remember sitting on those benches. Nothing big happened or traumatic, so why that memory? What separates it from things I don’t remember? Why are these memories special compared to others?

Anyway Missy’s Bridal Shower is next week. I already have Five games I believe? One involves love songs. Which I asked people on my facebook and twitter to give me suggestions, but do they? No. Whats the point in having a facebook if the friends on it won’t even give feedback? Stupid facebook. Its fine I don’t really talk to everyone on it so I guess it doesn’t matter. -_- My An Cafe cd is still stuck. T-T Mom will take it to the dealership on Friday and hopefully they can get it out. Here’s hoping.

I think of the oddest things.

Last Thursday my mom and sisters and I saw Phantom of the Opera on stage. It was amazing. I have seen a couple of operas, and Rent on stage but this was so much more…there are really no words to describe it. It was so fast paced and there were so many things to look at and notice. I loved every second of it.

I love Andrew Lloyd Webber’s musicals, my favorite might be Starlight Express…no maybe Cats. Who am I kidding I can’t just choose one. I like a lot of them. But Phantom of the Opera is the first one I have seen on stage. I have only seen the others on dvd and memorize the songs by heart. Sigh. Seeing this on stage was just wonderful. It was so beautiful I think my favorite part was during the Masquerade. Its so pretty. I definitely think if you aren’t sure about musicals this one would change your mind about them. So Sunday, we saw Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince. I only read to the fourth book of the series so I couldn’t compare the last three movies with the books. Even though I enjoy doing that. But anyway with this movie I can’t say that it was good. I don’t know it just didn’t fit with the rest of the movies to me. But I’m not a big Harry Potter fan so I can’t really say anything about it. Oh and Mija and Kat and I made a dailybooth for our monsters. Because we are the biggest nerds in the world. But oh well. I think we might actually keep this one actually daily compared to our personal accounts.

The one time I play a cd in the car it gets stuck. T-T Why?! This happening made me in such a bad mood that I took it out on my mom. Which caused us to get into an argument, which resulted in me talking back and saying something I shouldn’t. When I get mad I blame it on others, especially when its most likely my fault to begin with. A habit I should immediately fix. So the first thing I should do when I wake up, is apologies. I mean I sort of did, but it was no where near enough. Sigh. I hate being angry and frustrated. STUPID ANGER FOR MAKING ME SPEAK BEFORE THINKING! >_<

This was the first time that I have seen a Jrock cd from a band that I actually like there. So Mija bought it for me. And then on the way home I from her apartment on Monday I wanted to listen to the cd, because I didn’t put the songs on my Ipod yet. And after the last song finished I pushed eject only to hear this horrible clicking sound instead of receiving my cd. T-T I’m so sad. I tried everything I could think of get it out, but no luck. Now I did rip it so its not like I don’t have the songs, but thats not the point. I still want the cd to be in its case and be in working condition. Like I said in a previous post I forgot how much I like buying cds. But this one is a Jrock cd so its 100 times more important. Plus Mija bought it for me. My only hope is that if mom takes it to the card dealer ship they can remove it with absolutely no damage to the cd. AAHHHHH! If Only I just put the songs on my Ipod then I this would never have happened. Pfffft >_<

The cd before its current predicament. Sigh.

I’m so annoyed right now that I can’t even update like normal. Pfffft Hopefully my next entry will be completely happy news to report.