Inside Kimmy's Mind

The past few weeks or so….

• I volunteered last week for my college at a golf course. And I was attacked by heat and mosquitoes. Ouch. I spent time with Cate so that was awesome and I meet several other people that go to my school. I just don’t ever want to volunteer outside ever again. -_-

• I also saw RENT the musical for the second time. Except this time I was able to watch it with Anthony Rapp and Adam Pascal. ORIGINAL ROGER AND MARK!!! I have video of Anthony Rapp giving me his autograph, and I will try to make a vlog as soon as I can.

• I got to see my Korean brother Hyun the other day. It was good to see him of course he was mean to me as usual, but what brother doesn’t pick on his sisters? Well he left for Korea early Sunday morning so we only got to see him on Thursday. He looks older but at the same time he still looks the same. lol I find it so strange how long we have known each other. I met him my freshman year of high school. Hyun along with Haruka (Japanese exchange student) became apart of my family. I don’t get to talk to Haruka often but I’m so glad that he still visits and talks to me. Awww memories.

On a serious note: I wanted to mention this one time and one time only. Because pretending like it didn’t happen isn’t working. My ex called me about a week ago. He wanted to discuss “us”. Now its been about 5 months since we have been an “us” and I haven’t even talked to him, but for some reason when I heard my cell ring I had a feeling it was him. Now thanks to the invention of cell phones I haven’t memorized a phone number in like forever, so after we broke up I deleted his number so I wouldn’t try to call him. I guess subconsciously I recognized the number or something and I answered it. Sigh. He told me that he loved me and that he wanted to get back together. To make things short, he said everything I wanted to hear the night of our break up 5 months ago. (weird coincidence- He broke up with me January 6th, and called me again May 6th) Anyway, of course I still have feelings for him, he meant a lot to me. But at the same time I am a bitter bitch. And I kept thinking why now out of all the times he could have talked to me. What made today special? We had a class together he could have talked to me then. So we talked. I told him that I am still the same person I was when he dumped me. That for what ever reason he broke up with me before could happen again and that would he even be willing to put us through that again? He told me no that he finally knows what he wants and that’s me. And that he wouldn’t make the same mistake twice. Of course his words were amazing and alluring. And I was on cloud nine once again. I finally got to hear what I wanted to hear 5 months ago. So I said hypothetically- If we were going to get back together we would have to take it slow. Just to make sure things still clicked. We couldn’t just act like nothing happened.  He said he would agree to anything. No matter how bitter, or bitchy I was he didn’t care. As long as we could work on becoming “us” again. However, I’m not allowed to see him/date him. So I had to say good bye to him once again. My parents never really like him much before so having him in my life again wasn’t even an option. Saying good bye is not an easy thing to do. Whether its a good bye see you soon, or a good bye for now, or a good bye forever? It is difficult. Dylan is a very important person to me, but I thought perusing a relationship with him again would have caused more heart ache than happiness. My family would never have accepted him, and he would have been really unhappy with me. Although I felt annoyed that he reopened almost healed wounds, it was good to talk to him again. My friend Missy said its good because now we have no harsh feelings so that part is true. We talked like we were never apart so I think one day I will be able to talk to him again but as friends only. Wow depressing. Ok This will be  last time I’m talking about this.

• I’m at my sisters apartment for two weeks. I don’t start classes again until June 8th. And I’m so looking forward to that. >_< Bleh.

“So many faces in and out of my life; some will last, some will be just now and then. Life is a series of hellos and good byes, I’m afraid it’s time for goodbye again.”

Classes are over!….For now anyway.

This is what happens when I don’t have homework or classes to worry about: My sleep patterns worsens.

Well classes maybe over, but I have horrible news. I didn’t do too well in math class. I will have to retake the class in the summer. I don’t know what happened, I guess I wasn’t concentrating on it like I should have been. But I will not let this happen again. I am so disappointed in myself. I have never failed a class before. The next time I take this class I will ace it. I have always had troubled in math ever since I started school. I can’t believe time is moving so fast. I think when I was in high school it went by slower. Not sure why. Sigh. I hope I get the job in the Library. I desperately need that job. It would be so perfect. I am up because I can’t sleep and I have a massive headache. >_<

I just finished watching a Bollywood movie right now called Main Prem Ki Diwani Hoon. I haven’t watched a Bollywood movie since I was in junior high. Anyway, I like it because these movies are so dramatic. lol The characters are so passionate, ok sometimes a little cheesy. But in my opinion its the cute adorable cheesy. I mean who hasn’t wanted to break into song and dance before? I know I have. Anyway Its really late and I haven’t gone to sleep yet. Or its really early, depending how you look at it.

But before I thought about going to bed I decided to take random pictures of my room at around 6:30 in the morning. So here is what I shot with my sisters rebel something camera. Freaking awesome camera if you ask me. Just rather heavy.

Me and the camera.

My lantern ball and night stand.

My necklace.

My window.

Well that wasn’t exactly artistic. I was just bored. Speaking of not being artistic, I have already starting drawing on my Munny as you can see from my dailybooth photo. I don’t like it so far, but I am determined to like it once its finished. I’m thinking of trying some paint on it.

Ok I better get some sleep seeing as it is 7:30 am. Alright night night.

I made the mistake in procrastinating yet another assignment. I hate when I run out of time. I am in desperate need of a brain switching. And I would love to switch brains with a great math mastermind. Any takers?

Ok. I keep trying to making a vlog. But for some reason my flip video files haven’t been working properly. So its taking me longer than usual. I hate that. I don’t know why my video didn’t show up as wide screen. Its bugging me.(new thought) So I applied for a job at my college, and apparently I have to become a part of the student work program. But since I answered no to a bunch of questions I need to put my parents information down instead. However, if my parents make too much money then they won’t hire me. How unfair is that? I’m so annoyed right now. I NEED MONEY!!!!!

I got a text from a friend that I haven’t talked to in awhile. He wanted to hang out this weekend so he could introduce his girlfriend to me. I mean I didn’t think I would be in his ‘must meet my girlfriend’ category of friends. I feel special. However, I can’t hang out this weekend because I’m going to watch RENT!

WITH ORIGINAL CAST MEMBERS ANTHONY RAPP AND ADAM PASCAL!!!! I’m psyched for this.

I can’t wait. It will be two weekends in a row that we spent with Mija.

The deserts we had with Mija last weekend.

Desert at Andre’s for the second time.

Then on Sunday we got some gelato- Italian ice cream. I think it was good. Moms flavor wasn’t that good though. It’s that yellow one, I think it was mango. Mine was strawberry and some cream and caramel flavor.

I want a Munny. I’m not sure why, I just do. I’m sure it will take me a long time before I even decide what to paint on it. (I mean I started painting a Russian doll for my friends birthday in March and still haven’t finished them yet. SORRY MISSY! Eventually I will finish those.) Anyway, I want my friend Hyun to make one, I’m sure his will come out amazing. I’m tempted to just send him one. And make him paint one. I don’t mind getting a 4-inch one. But the getting a bigger one would be nice too. >_<

I should start on my SciFi Final. Its due on Monday, that way all I will have to do is study for History and then I’m done. For this semester anyway. Classes start again on June 8 for me. I only get a Month off but oh well. T_T I think I should just continue on with classes so I don’t get even lazier. Knowing me if I had more than a month off I wouldn’t want to go back to classes in the fall. So I think this is the best for me. Bleh. I need to buckle down. I HATE MATH! IT SHOULD JUST ROLL OVER AND DIE A HORRIBLE PAINFUL DEATH THAT WIPES IT FROM THE FACE OF THE EARTH. Or just from the list of classes I have to take. This is all I ask.

My horoscope the other day, said that I would come into some money. And that my plans for world domination were coming along nicely…..interesting. And I just noticed that for this entry, I put it in all of my categories, minus creative writing. Weird right?

I have a headache, I want to be lazy and sleep, I need to write lots of things, I want to read lots of books, I want to make a video!!! I need to study! I want/need/don’t/have to do a lot of things and all at the same time!!!!!! Oh if only I could freeze time for a bit. I would do everything I needed to do before they were due. I know that would have its consequences. I have watched way too many movies.

My English class is over with, I just need to finish my last essay which I’m just about done with. Its about whats real and whats not: Sex dolls. We watched the movie Lars and the real girl. But it made me think of a documentary I watched a while back. Oh and an article I read here.

I need to finish my chapter for my SciFi class. And then I need to write an essay for my scholarship which is due next week. I keep wanting to make a vlog, I haven’t made one that wasn’t apart of the KimCateKat videos. And the last time I made one was in January. How sad is that?This weekend my family and I are going to the Japanese festival. I hope the weather is nice this weekend. I don’t want it to be too hot when we go because then I will be extremely cranky.

Anyway, math class is stressing me out so bad at the moment. I’m afraid I will fail it, I don’t want to have to repeat this class over. My final is next week and I don’t think I’m prepared for it. I mean no matter how much I study I wouldn’t be prepared/ think I can ever be prepared for it. Math isn’t just memorizing facts, and its not based on your opinion, its finding the right answer. And I can’t do that if I have no clue how to solve the problem. And there are so many rules and laws. If I forget even one step the whole problem is wrong. sigh. Its a multiple choice test which might be good. I can always guess if worse comes to worse. But I still am afraid. The final is over what I learned over the entire semester. Its not like in my History class which is just over Unit three. My English class is just an essay and my SciFi class is take home questions plus an essay. All of them I can do, except for stupid math. I hate worrying about shit like this. Because then I get in a sort of frenzy and I end up making myself sick and such. BLEH!!!!

I should finish my essays, that will get my mind off potentially becoming a failure. Well I’m off to write a story and an essay.

Moments like this call for a smile. I can’t help it, no self discipline.

I came across something that I just  had to mention. There are these instructional videos that my school offers to students for studying purposes. Different math teachers take turns in being in them. But while I was watching one on Quadratic expressions, I noticed something…. a spelling error! *GASP* I was taken aback. lol No not really I was just amused. Anyway, I would write down what I heard from the video but when I went back to actually watch what the teacher was writing, thats when I noticed that she had used the wrong principle. She had written principal instead. lol I love when math teachers mess up. Heck I love when any teacher messes up. lol I mean its not life threatening so I can laugh about it. Right?

As you can see, I have written the correct one in my notes. I am so smart. I know this isn’t worth a blog entry. But I’m avoiding another boring book. T_T

Ever since my sisters and I were young, we have loved matching. We basically try to match as much as possible. Of course we didn’t get this way on our own. I think it started with our mom. She used to dress us in matching outfits when we were kids. Then it somehow was programed into Mija’s mind that matching was necessary. Now that we are older it hasn’t changed a bit. I think its gotten stronger.

We like to match each other. Because we like most of the same things so its not hard to match. One of the most recent items we are currently matching is bentos. Mija just got hers in the mail Monday and we just had to take pictures of them all together. We now each have an actual bento and silverware to go with it. YAY! I know you are probably thinking wow you three are weird. Although that part is true, I think we are awesome. >_< When we match stuff we usually match by our favorite colors. Mija is blue, Kat is red, and I am green. We intend to match according to colors and personality. I don’t see matching as a bad thing. I like that we like similar things. It makes us brings us closer as sisters. Well anyway Kat made our lunches for today, I usually just eat whatever we have. But today I actually had something waiting for me. I felt so special today. … continue reading this entry.

We all have an inner critic just waiting to be heard.

But who am I kidding my inner critic is not so much as inner, but more like worn on the outside so it can shout at everyone in its path. (Like my critic is its own person or something) Anyway, I’m going to criticize Disney’s Demi Lovato’s song Don’t forget.

Yes I watch Disney Channel! So what!

(I do not mean to offend those who love this song. To each its own.) Anyway, I thought this Disney Pop Princess would be much better than Miley Cyrus. But I was wrong. They both annoy me. I do however admit that Demi can sing, its just this song “Don’t Forget” is horrible. It is just a song with a million rhyming words. Plus the music video was horrible as well. No one looks good with rain hair, so why shoot a video with it. This is a stereotypical girl song, about relationships and blah blah. Shes like what 14? How many relationships could she possibly have had? My point is that I found this song so appalling that I had to update my blog about it. Wow, that is in no way sad. Demi Lovato isn’t as annoying as Miley Cyrus, but she is well on her way to becoming just another pain in the ass.

I can’t believe I have an opinion about this song. Damn Disney Channel.

This car was parked near my school. I thought it was cool, so I took a picture of it on my way home yesterday. I’m not too sure why it was parked there. It was still there today. And I still don’t know why. lol Anyway, I am really sleepy. I know know you are probably thinking, “You are always sleepy.” This is true, however I’m also always hungry as well. My stomach kept growling today in English. But I was too tired to care if my monster of a stomach interrupted class. I am hungry still my tummy keeps yelling at me.

(FOOD BREAK) Mommy made banana pudding its so yummy. ^_^

Ok now that my stomach is somewhat full (it never really ever is) I can now have coherent thoughts. Math today was interesting and not because of math. I can’t wait to hang out with Missy tomorrow! She is going to pick me up from class tomorrow and we are going out to lunch. I can’t wait. I miss hanging out with her. That is probably the only thing I miss about high school. Friends. I miss seeing friends in between classes and just talking. Ok well I am debating whether or not I should bring my laptop to history later today. I have a case but now I sort of want just a sleeve for it so I can put it in my purse. But I think my bag will be too heavy so I’m going to have to carry it its case anyway. I really wish I had a car. Anyway I find taking my laptop to class interesting. I took it to my SciFi class on Monday but I didn’t really use it in that class. I might use it more in History but I can’t use the power point for some reason. I have power point on my new laptop. So I don’t know whats the deal. But it might be annoying for me to carry my laptop while I walk to my first class. I could always just not pack my plug to make the case less heavy. I mean my lappy is smaller than my last computer but its still pretty heavy. I’m not sure what to do. I’m so bad when it comes to deciding between things. Well I will see how I feel when I get up tomorrow.

I better go to sleep now. I have a headache. Bye

A brand new Toshiba laptop!

Part one: My old TOSHIBA laptop finally kicked the bucket. I’m not exactly sure why it died, I guess it was age. Its going on 4 years already. And computers don’t last very long. A sad truth. I am excited and happy and any number of words with the same meaning. I am so excited that I can’t describe how excited I am. My mom bought me a new TOSHIBA laptop! And its an inch smaller than my first laptop. So if I am daring enough I can take it to school and use it there. It comes with a webcam. Besides that I like the switch between windows option. I find this option amazing. I know I am weird. I can’t wait to get the new photoshop so I can make myself a new wallpaper. Not that there is anything wrong with the wallpaper I currently have. Its just I want to make one. I got this one from this site. But its just until I can make my own. Plus with the web cam I can make videos in a different way which I will experiment with later. lol. I am just so happy with it. … continue reading this entry.

“Droplets of Comfort”

A t-shirt, worn merely for comfort.

Worn for fun, with no sentimental attachment.

I have no need for aprons, just a million paint brushes.

I painted a picture whilst wearing this t-shirt.

And several drops of paint found its way on the unsuspecting party.

And no matter how many times it is washed, these spots of paint will never be removed.

Its own personal battle scars from a war it has won?

Perhaps lost?

No blood was spilled, just a few beads of paint.

These drops of paint have become apart of it.

Like they have always been there.

We both know it is merely a t-shirt.

Worn only for comfort.

Amazing what lack of sleep does to a person, such as myself.