Inside Kimmy's Mind

Warning I blog when I’m bored. And I was browsing through other blogs to see what they blog about. And I found this while looking at the J-rock crew people.

Instructions!!!!!

• Write your name, website name and Twitter.
• Write your website URL
• Righty (right-handed), lefty (left-handed), or both?
• Birth date?
• Your favorite color?
• Write out the sentence, “The quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog.”
• You are supposed to tag people. So I tag anyone and everyone that is bored enough to do it. Oh and Kat and Mija.

I’m bored sorry. Plus any excuse to update my blog twice in one day. ^_^

You know that annoying feeling, when you want to do something but there is nothing to do? Yeah I believe it is called boredom? I hate being bored. And its not that I have nothing to do its that once I do something, I immediately want to do something else. Or if I finish a project too quickly then I’m left with that deep empty feeling of sadness.

I am attempting to make a vlog. Hopefully that goes well. Ok well I tried on my MOH (maid of honor) dress. I love it. I completed Missy’s orders and made it more Kimmy. And that means layering. >_< Again I am such a weirdo. I am thinking of buying some lace leggings and maybe some black flats. But I do like how the chucks look with the dress. It all depends on what the Bride wants. lol Speaking of the Bride. I am starting to write my speech. And I already know what I want to say to Missy. Its just hard to write and not cry. I hope when I have to say it, I will be able to enunciate and not just have tears streaming down my face. Damn sentimental words. I know they will get to me. Anyway, that’s something I’m working on.

I had the weirdest dream the other night. You know Build-a-Bear Workshop? That store where you pick out a teddy bear and dress it up and fill it up with “love” (aka heart shaped fabric cut outs) Well anyway, my sister Kathy when she was little she always wanted one. Heck I even wanted one at one point. I love stuffed animals. But I mean this store is ridiculously priced. The better the stuffed animal is the more money it costs. Anyway I had a dream that Kathy finally got the chance to make one. But her teddy bear was an S&M one. Could you imagine what that would look like? Hahahaha! I know I have problems. Either that or I have been hanging out with Mija way too much. What about a stripper bear? hahaha. WTF IS WRONG WITH ME? I am seriously disturbed.

I just finished making my vlog. Yup it took up most of the day. Damn see what a hassle it is to make a vlog? It takes too long now because my laptop does not like video files. But anyway I was just about to upload my vlog when Youtube decides to do its site maintenance. Bleh! How annoying! Well I will post it as soon as it lets me. So look forward to that. ^_^ The other day I watched Transformers- Rise of the Fallen with my mom and sisters. It was good. It had a lot of unnecessary scenes in it. But all in all it was a good watch. The first movie was better, but isn’t that always the case?

“Searching for the time that has gone so fast- The time I thought would last.”- Paul McCartney

Usually I love finding things from my past. Like when I re read my old journals and relive each entry like it was yesterday. But in this case I’d rather not relive these memories. These memories that I have laid to rest in a box under my bed. Memories that I don’t want to necessarily forget, but just file under “Ignore for now” in my file cabinet of memories. Anyway, I found my old cell phone from my junior year and the beginning of my senior year in high school. And being the reminiscing chump that I am, I assumed it would be amazing memories. My junior year was amazing, I made friends with all the exchange students that year. Anyway I still have the charger so I plug it in turn it on and the sense of regret suddenly consumes me after it finally powers on. There set as my wallpaper is a picture of Him(ex) and Me, my screen saver? Him. My front wallpaper? His drums. I forgot about these pictures. On a less depressing note- There were tons of pictures of my friends. Of Missy,Nuey, Hiromi, Icz, Cate, even Hyun and few others. Its weird because I’m not sure what made me think of my old cell phone. I just did. I mean its no big deal really. I just found it weird. I wish I could get these pictures off of it. I think I did right after I got my new cell. But I can’t remember. And since I have a new laptop and a new external that would mean these pictures would be on my old seagate if I did. Weird. I don’t notice how every aged, these pictures are old, and everyone looks so young in them. Strange. I have only had three cell phones so far. And I got my first one my sophomore year which is the first one, and the middle one is the one that shocked me. And of course the green one is my current one. Its gonna be sad when I get a new one in another year or so. I didn’t delete any of the pictures, just turned off the cell and put it back at the bottom of my junk drawer (we all have one) were it belongs. I just made a mental note to not bother it again. For a very long time. Sigh.

Anyway, I have a Bridal shower to help plan soon. I need to start getting some ideas to contribute. Missy you can count on me. <3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3

I read a the manga Koukou Debut (High School Debut) the other day. Its the sort of love story that makes you feel so many different emotions all at once. The kind of love story you wish would never end. And then I started thinking of this feeling I got while reading this story, or with any story whether its a movie or novel. And I wrote a poem, that hopefully explains what I’m talking about.

You know that feeling when you are incandescently happy? When he speaks your name and you can barely keep yourself from floating off the ground? You can sometimes catch a glimpse of that feeling, from a movie, song or story. Tales of hopeless romantics that are “destined” to meet, and for some reason make your heart flutter and agonize how you wish you were them. Just for a moment. Just to remember what it was like. You beam with delight when the girl finally gets the right guy. No harm can be done now, because she has him. Your heart leaps and you cannot help but feel that joy, that flutter and blush. The excitement of wanting that consumes you. You want to experience this cloud nine feeling. You want your thoughts to be consumed by him, and him alone. You want to experience the love that can only happen in a story.Just for a moment. Just to remember what it was like.

Sorry my sleeping pattern is screwed beyond mending. I hope I can get back on a regular sleeping schedule instead of being this vampire like thing that sleeps during the day.

“I, with a deeper instinct, choose a man who compels my strength, who makes enormous demands on me, who does not doubt my courage or my toughness, who does not believe me naive or innocent, who has the courage to treat me like a woman.”- Anais Nin

After watching the mini series Lost in Austen. I just had to watch Pride and Prejudice. First the 1995 version which took awhile( it’s five hours long plus extras-I have the three disc edition) then the 2005 remake. I have decided that I like them both. Of course Colin Firth is a much better Darcy I think. But for some reason I find him more attractive older than when he was younger. Just like David Bowie-hotter with age. >_< Moving on, while watching these movies it made me think of the differences between the men in the 1800’s and the men in the present. Dating without a chaperon was out of the question and displays of affection were simply frowned upon. I’m sure even hand holding was scandalous. The men of of the 1800’s aren’t really better than the men of our time, because of course back then women were merely objects. Put on this earth to make a man look good, and to carry on his name. Pfffft! I cannot and will not agree with that. At least today, the male sex realize that there are women out there that are smarter and stronger than they are. They might not want to admit it but, in the corner of their minds they are fully aware of this fact. Even though we do things the past might find horrific, the past is not without its own shocking ways. Not only were women objects, but women were sold as wives at the young age of 15. Maybe even younger depending on the parents. Ok so in our time girls younger than that are having babies. -_-;

I find Jane Austen’s time romantic, of course that might just be her novels. I shouldn’t confuse reality with fiction correct? Although it may have its charms, I wouldn’t leave my own time to live a life there. Not even in my dreams. I am way too spoiled with my life the way it is. However, it would be nice to be wooed and courted and doted upon with sweet words by a man that is mature and knows exactly what to say. Sigh. That would be nice. Instead in 2009 we have men who shout at us from afar and then mock our appearance as a way of flirting.

How romantic indeed.

I have been keeping a journal for as long as I can remember. However, before I started keeping a blog I managed to completely fill 3 journals. And for some odd reason after discussing this issue with my younger sister Kat; I have recently pulled these journals out. I have discovered that my younger self was an idiot.

These completed journals are from ages 14 to 18 I believe. Because when I turned 19 I started keeping my blog and I didn’t write in a journal as much. Updating my blog was much more entertaining for me. Of course blogs are journals that you can share with friends. Whereas a written journal isn’t available for the eyes of others. I mean I have the ability to keep the entries I would like private but what fun would that be? And when I feel like writing stuff I don’t want others to know thats when I can return to old fashion journal writing. The reason I only have three completely filled journals is because I couldn’t concentrate on writing in one journal. I was always getting new ones and I would immediately start writing in them forgetting the journal I had already began writing in. So I have tons of journals not even half filled. (Thats pretty sad) So when I turned 14 I was able to actually keep writing in a journal until it was completely filled. Of course as I reread words from my younger years I couldn’t help but mock myself. They are filled with ridiculous arguments with the friends I no longer see nor talk to. It was weird to reread pages I haven’t seen in awhile. Even though these entries were written years ago, I can read them and remember the events that took place like it was yesterday. Weird right? Well anyway, whats the point in reading about the past? You are supposed to look to the future right?

Anyway I spent money this past week. I had text book money still and I received late late graduation money. So I couldn’t resist. I bought a Keroppi wallet and clothes. I love Keroppi and he is being replaced by another fucking frog. They don’t look that much different from each other. But for some odd reason I only love Keroppi. Buying clothes is weird for me I don’t always like trying on clothes. But there are times when I actually enjoy buying new clothes and of course layer. >_< My first week with Mija went smoothly. We didn’t fight so that was good, I’m going back with her for the second week hopefully this one goes just as smoothly. The only thing is I hate that she works so late. By the time she gets home she is so tired that she goes to sleep early sometimes. Pffft And I’m not helping by distracting her. Well besides taking me to the Galleria three times last week she also took me to Domy Books. Oh it was a wonderful store (expensive) but amazing. I’m glad she took me there. I planned to spend the last of my money on a Munny for Hyun but I decided to buy the wallet. Sorry Hyun. >_<

Classes are over!….For now anyway.

This is what happens when I don’t have homework or classes to worry about: My sleep patterns worsens.

Well classes maybe over, but I have horrible news. I didn’t do too well in math class. I will have to retake the class in the summer. I don’t know what happened, I guess I wasn’t concentrating on it like I should have been. But I will not let this happen again. I am so disappointed in myself. I have never failed a class before. The next time I take this class I will ace it. I have always had troubled in math ever since I started school. I can’t believe time is moving so fast. I think when I was in high school it went by slower. Not sure why. Sigh. I hope I get the job in the Library. I desperately need that job. It would be so perfect. I am up because I can’t sleep and I have a massive headache. >_<

I just finished watching a Bollywood movie right now called Main Prem Ki Diwani Hoon. I haven’t watched a Bollywood movie since I was in junior high. Anyway, I like it because these movies are so dramatic. lol The characters are so passionate, ok sometimes a little cheesy. But in my opinion its the cute adorable cheesy. I mean who hasn’t wanted to break into song and dance before? I know I have. Anyway Its really late and I haven’t gone to sleep yet. Or its really early, depending how you look at it.

But before I thought about going to bed I decided to take random pictures of my room at around 6:30 in the morning. So here is what I shot with my sisters rebel something camera. Freaking awesome camera if you ask me. Just rather heavy.

Me and the camera.

My lantern ball and night stand.

My necklace.

My window.

Well that wasn’t exactly artistic. I was just bored. Speaking of not being artistic, I have already starting drawing on my Munny as you can see from my dailybooth photo. I don’t like it so far, but I am determined to like it once its finished. I’m thinking of trying some paint on it.

Ok I better get some sleep seeing as it is 7:30 am. Alright night night.

We all have an inner critic just waiting to be heard.

But who am I kidding my inner critic is not so much as inner, but more like worn on the outside so it can shout at everyone in its path. (Like my critic is its own person or something) Anyway, I’m going to criticize Disney’s Demi Lovato’s song Don’t forget.

Yes I watch Disney Channel! So what!

(I do not mean to offend those who love this song. To each its own.) Anyway, I thought this Disney Pop Princess would be much better than Miley Cyrus. But I was wrong. They both annoy me. I do however admit that Demi can sing, its just this song “Don’t Forget” is horrible. It is just a song with a million rhyming words. Plus the music video was horrible as well. No one looks good with rain hair, so why shoot a video with it. This is a stereotypical girl song, about relationships and blah blah. Shes like what 14? How many relationships could she possibly have had? My point is that I found this song so appalling that I had to update my blog about it. Wow, that is in no way sad. Demi Lovato isn’t as annoying as Miley Cyrus, but she is well on her way to becoming just another pain in the ass.

I can’t believe I have an opinion about this song. Damn Disney Channel.

“Droplets of Comfort”

A t-shirt, worn merely for comfort.

Worn for fun, with no sentimental attachment.

I have no need for aprons, just a million paint brushes.

I painted a picture whilst wearing this t-shirt.

And several drops of paint found its way on the unsuspecting party.

And no matter how many times it is washed, these spots of paint will never be removed.

Its own personal battle scars from a war it has won?

Perhaps lost?

No blood was spilled, just a few beads of paint.

These drops of paint have become apart of it.

Like they have always been there.

We both know it is merely a t-shirt.

Worn only for comfort.

Amazing what lack of sleep does to a person, such as myself.

Part One: After throwing a lot of stuff from my closet away I found my old CD/tape player. I got it for Christmas years ago, but I remember how excited I was when I did. Every time I bought a CD I would hurry to play it. After I got my ipod mini and a dock for it, I sadly put this in my closet and never thought of it again. Until now. It was sort of breaking before I got the dock but it was faithful in its youth. I didn’t have the heart to throw it away then an I still don’t have the heart to throw it away now. Its funny how things are important. And I mean if you look at the price of cd players now compared to how much they used to be. Its weird. Is that going to happen to mp3 players? I mean Apple keeps bringing out new and better ones but will their price go down that low when their time is up? Thats something to think about.

Part Two: Kat and I are currently spending spring break at my sister’s apartment. And she took us to Borders! I know its dangerous to take me to a book store especially when I still haven’t cracked Dooms Day. -_- I hope I won’t be doomed on Monday. Anyway I didn’t want to buy a book book so instead I bought Neil Gaiman’s graphic novel The Last Temptation. Have I mention that I love him? Anyway, Mija is the one who took it off the shelf when I immediately recognized it. However, I didn’t realize that Alice Cooper contributed to the story. Its based on his record release, The Last Temptation. I should have known it just screams Cooper. Of course I’m not really savvy on his music. The art work is exquisite its done by Michael Zulli if I’m not mistaken. And it is amazing. The showman’s appearance is based on the best showman, Alice Cooper himself. It resembles him from head to toe. I also finally bought the movie Mirror Mask, story also by Neil Gaiman. I really do love him. Well besides buying books and dvds and hearing that someone tried and failed at stealing a magazine I also hurt a complete strangers feelings. But on my behalf I didn’t mean to and I completely understand his current state. And I didn’t mean what I said to sound the way it came out. I am not going to repeat it here because I am trying to make myself feel better. I know I am a horrible person. Now typing is getting hard because my sister’s cat Tomo is in my lap being extremely adorable and I can no longer ignore him. lol