Inside Kimmy's Mind

I don’t believe in second chances. Once you screw up that’s it. I’m not the type of girl who forgives easily. I mean I take the situation into consideration. You lost the pen you borrowed…that’s fine, you ate the last doughnut?  Forget it. You’re screwed. >o<

In all seriousness, when it comes to relationships I have to set boundaries. I know it may sound harsh but it’s just how I am. It’s been about a month since my relationship ended. I was really angry and frustrated with him for how he chose to handle things. But I’m tired of holding on to that anger and I can say that I’m not as bitter as I once was.  He contacted me the other day and told me how much he misses me and that he loved me. The pissed off side of me couldn’t help but feel happy about that. I wanted to rub it in his face and tell him, “Of course you miss me. I could have told you that you would. I’m fucking awesome!!” XD But I was more interested in keeping my cool. I had the chance to say everything I wanted to say to him that night and now I just want to move on with my life. Before our relationship ended I tried my best to show him that I was there for him but he just wasn’t able to see that. The way he handled the situation was wrong but I hope the next relationship he has he knows it’s ok to rely on someone. As cheesy as I may sound at the moment, I am very serious. I couldn’t take everything he said as the truth but again I’ve decided to just rise above it. You can’t change the past, and even though I hated how the relationship ended I am going to move forward and be happy. I hope he does the same.

It’s nice being able to sort out my feelings and I’m glad that this entry can end on a happy note. Thanks for reading. :3

I spent some extra time thinking which song I wanted to share. I finally decided on Thank You by Mozella. Enjoy. [audio:http://numb.honey-vanity.net/wp-content/uploads/2012/06/ThankyouMozellalyricsYouTube.mp3|titles=ThankyouMozella]

Fruit by Brian Francis

I bought this book at Kaboom, one of the best used book stores in Houston. I fell in love with the place, and their prices are fantastic. I enjoy Half Price, but Kaboom has them beat. It’s own by the greatest couple too, they hold readings in the back of the store and it’s just a really nice place. I mentioned it in this post awhile back but deleted the pictures because I went with the ex. I just never got around to adding different pictures to that post so I’ll do that here as well. But first, back to the main reason of this entry. A book review. Now I’ve discussed books that I’ve read before but you can’t really call them reviews. You would think after 3 semesters of creative writing and I would be able to write an awesome book review. Well it’s my opinion about it so here it goes. I purchased a review copy, so I’m not sure how much of the story was changed in  the actual published version. But I absolutely loved this book. Both as a reader and as someone who enjoys writing. As I’ve developed my writing skills, I’ve discovered that I enjoy writing coming of age stories. So when I read a book that has taken something we have all gone through and made it relatable while at the same time different, I can’t help but swoon.And that is exactly what this book did for me.

Synopsis (found on the back of the book)

Thirteen-year-old Peter Paddington is overweight, the subject of his classmates’ ridicule, and the victim of too many bad movie-of-the-week storylines. When his nipples begin speaking to him one day and inform him of their diabolical plan to expose his secret desires, Peter finds himself cornered in a world that seems to have no tolerance for difference. Peter’s only solace is “The Bedtime Movies”- perfect-world fantasies that lull him to sleep every night. But when the lines between Peter’s fantasy world and his reality begin to blur, his hilarious adventures in overeating, family dysfunction, and the terrifying world of sexual awakening really begin. 

After reading that I just had to buy it. I love the style that Francis wrote this book in. It’s in first person from the POV of Peter. Although it is relatable, everyone experiences adolescence in their own way. This story was entertaining and it definitely made me think a lot about my own experiences, that awkward stage in life. While reading this book I laughed a lot…and out loud. I feel as though I should actually get my hands on a published copy so I can compare the two. Another thing I found interesting was the fact that it was about a boy and not a girl. As a female, the male mind is somewhat out of bounds so reading this from the perspective of a thirteen year old boy was another reason I enjoyed it. After reading this book, it made me want to start working on some short stories. I might share a few that were inspired by this book.

So if you are looking for a fun book to read I highly recommend Fruit. What style of books do you find yourself drawn to? And if you have book suggestions, let me know. 😀 Thanks for reading.

So I finally got my hair cut. I believe it’s been about 2 years since my last hair cut. o.o Crazy I know.

I’m always a little hesitant when it comes to getting my hair cut. I feel like if I go in thinking it will come out horrible then it won’t come as a shock if it does. Pessimistic I know. But I also try to remember that hair grows back and I will just have to deal with it until it does. People definitely put too much pressure on their hair. I think this is the shortest I’ve ever gotten it cut. I do sort of miss my long hair. But it’s refreshing to have all of that weight off. My hair is thick and there is always a lot of it. It takes forever to straighten it so I do like the new length. What I do hate about it is the length of my bangs. The girl who cut my hair, cut my bangs way too short so they look extremely awkward if I wear them down. And every time I straighten my hair I get a little angry at her. She didn’t even cut them all the same length, one side is a bit shorter and then there are a few random strands longer than the rest it is a mess. But again I need to remember that it will grow out and I will just have to find some way to pull them back until they do. The girl who cut my hair graduated with me and she’s only been cutting hair for a year. So of course she wouldn’t be great at it. It was actually really weird to have someone I went to school with shampooing and cutting my hair. She was going to cut a little girls hair but suddenly gave that customer to another hair dresser who was busy straightening her own her instead of focusing on the customers. -.- No one in my hometown can cut hair. After I finish showering and I start to straighten my hair I get a bit peeved when I see just how short my bangs are. They are so short that it makes pinning them back difficult. Too short even for a headband. So I do get a a bit frustrated. But whatever because it will grow back.

This is my mantra for the next couple of weeks…wait how fast does hair even grow? According to Google, it grows half an inch every month. -.- Which is bullshit, because before this hair cut I had a problem with keeping my bangs always being too long. I’m going to be frustrated for a while.[audio:http://numb.honey-vanity.net/wp-content/uploads/2012/06/SummerHouse-GoldMotel.mp3|titles=SummerHouse-GoldMotel] Thanks to Pandora I’ve been finding a bunch of great new music. It makes walking to school more fun.

Today was my first day of class. I’m just taking one, a math class, and I’m going to to PASS it this summer. That should actually be my new mantra. -.- This class is a 6 week class, I’ve never taken a 6 week class before so I hope I can keep up with the lessons. I’m not worried about homework or the online quizzes, it’s the in class tests and quizzes that I’m worried about. But I’m going to work hard so I can get this over with. My class ends July 9th, so I’ll have about 6 weeks of summer before my classes at UH start, which is awesome. I hope my sister Kat is able to spend a week in Houston with me before her fall semester starts. Today was fun, after my class I met up with Kat and we had lunch together. BC, aka baby college, went through a lot of remodeling since the last time I was enrolled. It looks really nice, I’ll make sure to take pictures the next time. Of course its not like I have any before pictures but still I want to show it off. Anyway, they now have this little grill and that is where we bought our lunches. I bought a chicken salad sandwich. I have a chicken salad sandwich bucket list going on. It’s my goal to try one from every place that has it on the menu. Pot Belly is the champ and I think it will always be the best in my book. But today’s sandwich was pretty good for $4. I got spinach, lettuce and cucumbers on it. :9 It was a good day, I came home and took a satisfying nap on the couch. Love naps. Well I’m off to read…wow it is such an awesome feeling to be able to snuggle up with a book. 😀

So how do you handle  bad hair cut? Do you high tail it out of the salon and then wear hats until it grows out? I wanna to know, and if you have any advice on working with bangs that were cut way too short let me know. :3

Revenge is sweet. Ok well not really revenge but closure sure is. 😀

Today I thought a lot about how weird it’s been to stop talking to someone who was a part of my life and then just isn’t anymore. I’ve been having a great summer so far. Being home has been nice, but I would be lying if I didn’t miss my Houston home. I feel as though I have two different lives and one is here and the other one is in Houston. Anyway,  on to what I really want to discuss. I was having dinner with my mom and sister and while we were in the middle of eating I get a text from an unknown number. Not unknown, just forgotten.  But I knew who it was from.  I sort of just glanced it over.

“I’m sitting at the cool kids table. Wow! I hope you are doing well.” 

To clarify, the “cool kids table” is what we called the corner table at Poison Girl Bar. Every time we went there for the Poison Pen reading series we would jokingly say how we wish we could sit at that table. My first instinct was to reply with, “I’m fantastic! Why wouldn’t I be?” But then I thought, why should I reply? Does he honestly think we are friends?  During the breakup, when I shook his hand, it was a sarcastic shake, not a let’s be friends handshake. I can’t see myself being his friend at the moment. My next thought was, yes!!! I’m in his head. He thought about me. Mwhahaha!! After I sent a few texts to friends and made a call to my sister Mija to gloat, I decided to ignore it. Why should I reply? I still have him on fb so he can see from my happy posts and pictures that I am doing great. That’s the only reason I’m allowing him to remain as a “friend”. So he can see how little this breakup has affected me. This then made me realize something. My life on the internet is pretty important to me. Not fb but my blog. It is essentially my life. I’ve been updating since 2008 and even before that. I pretty much post my blog link everywhere I go on the internet. I even discussed with him how I am a proud blogger. I would even show off the cute pictures I posted about him. And now that I’m thinking back on those moments he never showed any interest in my blog.  He never said anything about my blog so I’m assuming he never visited it. He didn’t have to comment but at least maybe read a few entries…especially since most of my posts were/are about him. I was interested in everything he said and did. His hobbies, aside from writing, weren’t exactly hobbies I cared about. Fly fishing being a big one. I don’t know anything about fishing, hunting or camping. I’m not an outdoorsy type of girl. I have a huge attachment to indoor plumbing and whatnot. But still I took an interest in finding out about all the things he liked. I asked questions and even considered going fishing with him if he was willing to teach me. But he never once acted interested in my other hobbies. And if he really wanted to know how I was doing then all he would have to do is read my blog to find out. I’m actually surprised he hasn’t thought to even check on my blog. I have my blog link under my fb info. (And if for some reason he does decide to check on my blog, calm down, it’s not as though I’m actually talking shit.) I’m merely rehashing the days events.  And most of my male bashing has been in general and I’ve pretty much kept it that way in these bitter posts. I haven’t cursed him or damned him in anyway. I even respected him by erasing his face my from blog and not mentioning his name.  A crazy girl would probably deface photos and start practicing voodoo by now. Luckily I’m pretty sane.

And to end this post- I’m thinking about getting my hair cut. My split ends have split ends. It’s horrible. So how do you handle a text from you ex? Especially if hasn’t even been that long since you broke up?

[audio:http://numb.honey-vanity.net/wp-content/uploads/2012/06/Marathon-Tennis.mp3|titles=Marathon-Tennis] Song by Tennis, I can’t get this song out of my head. <3 Love it. Thanks for reading.