Inside Kimmy's Mind » Disillusioned: “Nice”Guy

Disillusioned: “Nice”Guy

Today’s post has been written over and over again, I  had trouble figuring out the right words I wanted to use when writing this post and there are a ton of points I’d like to discuss. Most of you have heard about the horrifying events that happened two weeks ago in California…the shootings done by a disillusioned and misogynistic person. And all because women did not pay attention to him?



This 22 year old boy had no respect for life and instead of opening his eyes he allowed himself to see the world as this miserable place where he alone would not find happiness. Of course his idea of happiness was also warped, from the vlogs I have watched it appears as though he was unhappy for not having sex. -.- I realize that sex is an important life experience, but through his eyes it was the ultimate goal that led a person to the only happiness worth living for. Developing relationships makes life exciting and meaningful, but to base happiness solely on the physical aspect of those relationships is bizarre. He complains in all of his videos, saying the same thing over and over again, how women do not desire him, how they prefer these ugly losers and do not give him the time of day. Going on and on about the injustice of it all. Injustice? It is beyond sad that some people believe love and affection should be owed and not earned. This boy had everything society says you need in order to find happiness….or in his eyes, everything required to attract women. Money, nice car, nice clothes. You create your own happiness, you find joy in all aspects of life. You only have one life, why waste it being hateful? If you’re unhappy, that’s because you choose to take the bad things that might happen in life and instead of moving past or learning from them you wallow in them. He referred to himself as a nice guy and truly magnificent, as though women should have begged/thrown themselves as his feet. Hearing the line “nice guy” has always irked me whenever I heard someone say it. “Why doesn’t she like me, I’m a nice guy.” “Women only date assholes, never the nice guy.” Or the ever cliche, “Nice guys finish last.” Oh puh-lease!! Come off it. Simply being “nice” is not enough to grant you sex. You gave a girl a ride home and didn’t try to sleep with her? Oh gee, thanks for not raping her…you deserve sex! Wrong! I don’t want to turn this post into men vs. women, but I wanted to discuss this problem I’ve encountered with the opposite sex. And that’s this entitlement some men have after interacting with women. Which brings me back to the whole “nice guy” problem. So many of them see themselves as a nice guy that when they don’t get some type of reward, the women who reject them are seen as sluts and bitches. Women don’t HAVE to like you. Just like men don’t have to like every woman that presents herself in front them. So these “nice guys” just fool themselves into believing that these heartless women never give them a chance, they only go after the asshole-jerk-face-guy that only wants to sleep with them…but wait, isn’t that what they are complaining about not getting? Returning to the tragedy mentioned above, he goes on and on about how if women gave him a chance he could prove he was worthy. Worthy enough for them to sleep with him?

There is also this entitlement men feel once they have already entered a committed relationship. Commitment=sex and all of its components.  I’m sorry to break it to the men who believe this, but just because we have agreed to only see each other, does not automatically mean certain acts must be performed. The title boyfriend does not mean your girlfriend owes you sex, or anything involving sexual actions. Sex is something that consenting adults should discuss before assuming either party is ready to perform it. It should be discussed in detail and on more than one occasion to make sure they are consenting and that this is something both want to do. So many people are bullied into having sex because they feel as though they are supposed to fulfill this requirement that their girlfriend/boyfriend has put on them.  Sex should not be the main goal in starting a relationship. That’s what I feel as though this 22 year old boy fooled himself into believing a relationship was. A contract that meant once he had a girlfriend, sex would be his whenever he wanted it. It was as if the girl didn’t actually matter so long as she was blonde and able to perform these acts for/on him.

I find it alarming that there are so many people out there that see him as a victim of “stuck-up-feminists”. I should warn you about the many outrageous comments you will come across on you tube when watching videos about this case. If you can find his vlogs, you will hear him complain about being alone and about how others should feel sympathy for him. He chose to be alone, instead of going out and talking to people. Without the idea that it should lead to sex, he could have created relationships with his peers. Instead he decided to isolate himself and play the victim. I have no room for sympathy for him. Tons of people have problems with socializing, but that’s something you have to be willing to change. Creating relationships is difficult, no one said it was easy but this person expected it and women to fall into his lap without working hard at it. Even after that first impression, relationships require you to continue working at them in order to thrive.

Ok, I need to stop, otherwise this entry could carry on and on. Laci Green updated about it as well and I recommend you watch her video. Offending others is never my intention, I know not everyone will agree with my opinions but everyone is at least entitled to their own. I don’t force mine on you, I merely discuss and share and you are welcome to read it, after all this is my blog. I would love to hear your views on anything I have mentioned. Particularly your views on the “nice guy”. Until next time…

Thanks for reading and commenting.


  1. Kristen Said:

    on June 7, 2014 at 8:55 pm

    *Stands and claps*

    You know, it’s funny that you wrote about this just now. I am literally in the middle of writing a post about this subject, myself. I had a VERY alarming experience with male entitlement and disrespect toward women just yesterday, and I’m SO outraged by it that I have turned to my long abandoned blog to rant about it. Nothing like being angry to get a blogger back at the keyboard again!

    But anyway, I don’t know much about this guy or what happened. But I do know that he never got any girls because of his attitude. Period. Yes, some girls have very low self esteem and only go for guys who have no respect for women. Unfortunately for this guy, he must have been too much even for those women. No one owes him anything. No matter what. His problem with not getting sex is just that: his problem. It’s not anyone else’s.

    There’s a reason no one wanted anything to do with him!!

    Stand by for my own post on this subject. I’m back. Finally. AND I’m pissed. Thanks for posting this!!!!

  2. Kimmy Said:

    on June 8, 2014 at 5:15 am

    @Kristen, Thanks Kristen.
    I find it just as frustrating when dealing with situations with this subject matter. And what happened in California…what happens all over the world, needs to be stopped. I know I know, easier said than done. But still, I’m hoping that the people who speak out about it will at least open society’s eyes and show that misogyny does kill. Such a shame.

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