Control
Today’s doodle illustrates how I feel after every shower, and then I have to flat iron the hell out of my hair in order to tame the wild beast that is my hair.
I was gonna go on a rant about my frizzy hair but now I’m just putting it in for some comic relief, not to downplay the topic I will be discussing. Plus the doodle looks angry and well I was pretty angry the other day. I apologize in advance, but this is my opinion and of course I would love to hear yours.
So I’ve notice several articles/videos over the topic of street harassment. It’s definitely not a fun topic to discuss but I feel as though I should address it today. Several videos that I watched are found here, here and here. Now, I can only speak about my personal experience as a woman. And seeing as I am a woman, I can only voice from my side of the situation. I am in no way saying harassment doesn’t happen to men. Now that we got that out of the way lets move on.
Cat calls, or sexually explicit remarks are not compliments. Some may argue that they are, and after reading the comments on the second video I listed above, I’m actually surprised that a lot of people see them as such. A recent example of street harassment, it always happens when I’m alone and mostly when I’m waiting to cross the street or at a bus stop. This on in particular happened at a bus stop earlier this week. I’m sitting at the bench, minding my own business when a car pulls up to the red light in front of me. They proceed by rolling down the window and yelling, “Like that pussy.” Please explain to me how this is, in anyway a compliment. It’s NOT! He laughs and starts whistling at me in hopes of getting my attention. Which is why he said something like that to me. To get my attention. My experience with cat calling leads me to believe that men, (sorry-all my experiences with street harassment have been with men) do this so as to get a reaction from women. Are they really that bored? I don’t ever respond to these people, they make me uncomfortable and for me I think it’s best to ignore them. I see it that way because, by not responding I don’t fuel the situation. They also argued about the differences between compliments and harassment in that video comment section. A compliment is something like, “I like your dress.” Or “Cool tie.” Not, “Nice tits.” Or “Ooooh baby, I’d like to…” I mean people can get pretty graphic. I don’t see ass or boob comments from strangers as compliments. They might seem harmless to the person doing the calling, but on the receiving end, it’s not fun. Now, I know we’ve all oogled someone we’ve found attractive. But there is a fine line between glancing and full on objectifying. Save the pervy stuff for someone you’re dating or at least have an intimate relationship with, not for the stranger on the street who looks upset by your words.
I realize they are just words, but the guy found my uncomfortableness hilarious. Purposefully making someone feel uncomfortable is wrong, he CHOSE to shout something rude to me versus keeping quiet and waiting for the red light to change. Another thing that is mentioned is the way women dressed, some argue that if a woman wears a low cut shirt or a short skirt, then she is asking to be harassed. And I can tell you, from my experience, it does NOT matter what a woman is wearing. I wear many layers, I don’t show a lot of skin and I still have received creepy shouts and whistles. So even if a woman shows a little skin, it doesn’t give someone the right to shout sexually explicit things to her. Freedom of speech is always brought up when someone says that, but I hate when this is used. Yes, your entitled to your opinion and you the have the freedom of speech, but why must you use it to voice rude things that make most people uncomfortable. I can only speak on my behalf, and I find it rude. Of course, I still go about my day but something such as this can change my day from nice to bad, even if for a second, quickly. Why do you want to ruin someone’s day?
Why can’t things such as, “Have a nice day.” Or, “Good morning,” be shouted instead? It will leave someone smiling. Well, that’s all I wanted to say in this post. I know, negative. It was just something I felt like sharing. If you feel like sharing, then please do so. Until next time…
Thanks for reading and commenting.
Kristen Said:
on August 17, 2014 at 10:28 am
I agree with you completely. It’s extremely rude. Men think they have the right to comment on women’s bodies and objectify them. I think they really feel that a woman’s self-worth is dependent on what a man thinks of her looks. The fact that men yell at us on the street is supposed to validate us. Unfortunately, that’s all we are to many men: something nice to look at. What a world we live in.
Kimmy Said:
on August 18, 2014 at 1:29 am
@Kristen, Exactly. To them it’s just a big joke, and they mark it down to our poor female emotions. Feeling uncomfortable by someone isn’t a joke. I feel as though they purposefully do these things just to get a reaction…especially if it’s a negative one. -.- Some people….
Alice B Said:
on August 18, 2014 at 7:17 am
cat calls are impolite, degrading and not to mention, annoyingly rude. my friend just tweeted the other day that she was cat called by a guy and there’s no way she was going to just shut up about it. i don’t know the full detail but i think she gave him the finger and a comeback with flying rainbow words (read: swears and curses) about how it’s not okay to cat call her or any girl in general.
as a chinese living in indonesia, locals tend to cat call us chinese. it’s disgusting and it makes my blood boil. it doesn’t happen as much nowadays but back then, the locals would wolf whistle us and be like, “yo china~” it was. super. disgusting! ugh, now that i remember about it, it makes me so piss. and sometimes, when they think their humiliating habit is funny, they can tease us the chinese like, “china~ cing cong fan cong djekhflwk” i’m like what the hell?? no chinese speak like that! wow. R U D E.
because of that, i have developed a distaste towards locals here. i know not all locals are rude and if the local isn’t rude, i’d definitely welcome whoever that person is. but they’re making me build this strong walls around myself that every time i walk by the street and locals look at me, i give them the death glare like “if you mess with me, i’ll stab your freaking eyeballs.” i don’t have pepper spray so i bring my razor blade around LOL
i can’t believe how these men even know how to breathe (insert intense sarcasm bgm here). i mean, seriously… which part of those sexually explicit comments equal to compliments? geez. these people.
some people (guys, mostly) think i’m overreacting and i tell them that they can call me a drama queen for all i care but this issue is not something to be laughed at. i don’t like labeling myself as a feminist or anything (heck, the idea of feminism is often interpreted wrongly too so…) but i believe in that females can have their authority, can have their own ruling ground and are to be equally respected to stand on the same stage as men. i just believe in girl power, i guess.
this is why i have trust issues towards guys and i get twice as judgmental and defensive against them.
oh geez, this comment is getting too long haha
Kimmy Said:
on August 18, 2014 at 1:52 pm
@Alice B, Girl Power indeed!!!
Thanks for sharing your experience. And kudos to your friend for standing up for herself, in my situation I figured if I acknowledged his rude behavior, I would just be playing into what he wanted. Which was a reaction on my part and or my attention. And he did not deserve my attention, even if he deserved some colorful words.
The people who do these types of things think they are insanely clever. -.- And they make it worse by labeling it a joke or a compliment. And if the roles were reverse, they would probably see it as a joke, but something like cat calling could easily turn into assault, given the right props. I’d hate to think of those situations, but they happen and people need to wake up and see the reality of it all.