Inside Kimmy's Mind » 4 Weeks?

4 Weeks?

The past few weeks or so….

  • I volunteered last week for my college at a golf course. And I was attacked by heat and mosquitoes. Ouch. I spent time with Cate so that was awesome and I meet several other people that go to my school. I just don’t ever want to volunteer outside ever again. -_-

  • I also saw RENT the musical for the second time. Except this time I was able to watch it with Anthony Rapp and Adam Pascal. ORIGINAL ROGER AND MARK!!! I have video of Anthony Rapp giving me his autograph, and I will try to make a vlog as soon as I can.
  • I got to see my Korean brother Hyun the other day. It was good to see him of course he was mean to me as usual, but what brother doesn’t pick on his sisters? Well he left for Korea early Sunday morning so we only got to see him on Thursday. He looks older but at the same time he still looks the same. lol I find it so strange how long we have known each other. I met him my freshman year of high school. Hyun along with Haruka (Japanese exchange student) became apart of my family. I don’t get to talk to Haruka often but I’m so glad that he still visits and talks to me. Awww memories.

On a serious note: I wanted to mention this one time and one time only. Because pretending like it didn’t happen isn’t working. My ex called me about a week ago. He wanted to discuss “us”. Now its been about 5 months since we have been an “us” and I haven’t even talked to him, but for some reason when I heard my cell ring I had a feeling it was him. Now thanks to the invention of cell phones I haven’t memorized a phone number in like forever, so after we broke up I deleted his number so I wouldn’t try to call him. I guess subconsciously I recognized the number or something and I answered it. Sigh. He told me that he loved me and that he wanted to get back together. To make things short, he said everything I wanted to hear the night of our break up 5 months ago. (weird coincidence- He broke up with me January 6th, and called me again May 6th) Anyway, of course I still have feelings for him, he meant a lot to me. But at the same time I am a bitter bitch. And I kept thinking why now out of all the times he could have talked to me. What made today special? We had a class together he could have talked to me then. So we talked. I told him that I am still the same person I was when he dumped me. That for what ever reason he broke up with me before could happen again and that would he even be willing to put us through that again? He told me no that he finally knows what he wants and that’s me. And that he wouldn’t make the same mistake twice. Of course his words were amazing and alluring. And I was on cloud nine once again. I finally got to hear what I wanted to hear 5 months ago. So I said hypothetically- If we were going to get back together we would have to take it slow. Just to make sure things still clicked. We couldn’t just act like nothing happened.  He said he would agree to anything. No matter how bitter, or bitchy I was he didn’t care. As long as we could work on becoming “us” again. However, I’m not allowed to see him/date him. So I had to say good bye to him once again. My parents never really like him much before so having him in my life again wasn’t even an option. Saying good bye is not an easy thing to do. Whether its a good bye see you soon, or a good bye for now, or a good bye forever? It is difficult. Dylan is a very important person to me, but I thought perusing a relationship with him again would have caused more heart ache than happiness. My family would never have accepted him, and he would have been really unhappy with me. Although I felt annoyed that he reopened almost healed wounds, it was good to talk to him again. My friend Missy said its good because now we have no harsh feelings so that part is true. We talked like we were never apart so I think one day I will be able to talk to him again but as friends only. Wow depressing. Ok This will be  last time I’m talking about this.

  • I’m at my sisters apartment for two weeks. I don’t start classes again until June 8th. And I’m so looking forward to that. >_< Bleh.

So many faces in and out of my life; some will last, some will be just now and then. Life is a series of hellos and good byes, I’m afraid it’s time for goodbye again.

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