Inside Kimmy's Mind

Yesterday was like any other day…I got up, got dressed, caught my bus and went to school. Normal day.

Not exactly normal.

I’m used to not being noticed, but recently I have been…well the opposite of invisible. Now, I am still standing by my whole wanting to remain single for awhile. But for some reason I must have a sign above my head that reads, “She’s open for business! Ask her out!”

Alright, maybe that’s a bit over the top. But it is how I feel at the moment.

So earlier this week, a guy, who I will now refer to as bike boy, I had seen bike boy a couple days earlier. I was sitting at a bench when he rode by on his bike and stared at me and smiled. Fast forward to later that week. He came up to me when I was in the middle of discussing a class assignment with a classmate when all of a sudden. Bike boy stops and stands near us for a bit not saying anything. He finally speaks to us. My classmate leaves and then he and I chat for awhile. We discuss majors and school life. He is from Siberia and is a Computer Science major I believe. Anyway, after we finish I say he asks for my email.

We met up in between classes one day. Walked around, talking a lot and then when I had to get to my next class. He then proceeds to take out a bouquet of flowers.

FLOWERS! I have never received a bouquet of flowers before. So you could imagine how shocked I was when he handed them to me. He told me he found me very interesting, I stood there like an idiot. Not exactly sure how he could find me interesting after talking to me twice. I had no idea what to say. He then left, saying see you soon and I was left holding flowers and still having another class to go to. Very weird. There is a culture gap so I’m not exactly sure what he meant by giving me these flowers and I really don’t want to assume anything.

 But if he is doing this as a signal that he is interested in me then I must say, where was this when when I wouldn’t mind having a blonde green eyed guy with an accent hit on me? I would be lying if I said this wasn’t an ego boost. Because, well it is. I mean, women want a guy to just be upfront and not play the whole guessing game. But the minute I decide I want to be single things start happening. There is just no winning. After this happened I felt as though I was starring in a Kdrama, because things like this just don’t happen in real life unless it is scripted.  As far as I know, flowers could mean a completely different thing to him. Still think the whole situation is bizarre though.

 Is it possible for members of the opposite sex to remain just friends, am I naive for hoping there is? Or will feelings on either side always end up developing and end up ruining any chance of that happening?

Thanks for reading and commenting.

 

I wanted to share this entry’s song at the beginning of the post. Great opener. Bring on the cheese. XDRachel Brown- Bumblebee.[audio:http://numb.honey-vanity.net/wp-content/uploads/2013/02/RachelBrown-BumblebeeOfficialVi.mp3]

 

 

 

… continue reading this entry.

That moment where you rather redo a moment to prevent from hurting someone than pretend as if everything is alright. If only time travel were possible in this case. Sadly, it’s not.

I am not ready to be in a relationship…with anyone at the moment. And for some reason I keep putting myself in such difficult positions that end up hurting people I really care about. Why? Why do I do this? Does the universe find this hilarious? So what if I went through high school unscathed by the cruel ridiculous notions of teen drama. I had hope that my early adult life would go the same way, without unwanted drama. But that’s not going to happen.

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So I went a little crazy at Micheal’s the other day. I couldn’t help myself, I saw all these stamps for a 1.50 and just had to buy them. I mean look at that adorable typewriter stamp. I love typewriter stamps and this one just so happens to be a Valentine theme. I bought three Valentine stamps, so now I intend to make Valentine cards. Maybe add a cute lollipop or some type of candy to show the people I love how much I love them. Who knows? I also bought a button puncher. I love it! It makes a great embellishment for cards, scrapbooking, even gift wrapping. I’ve been wanting it and the cute tag puncher as well, but decided on this one. I feel very crafty right now.

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It is almost 2013. By the time I push publish it will be 2013…2013 how weird.

2012 was a pretty good year, minus the part where my dad fell and injured himself.  I went to Boldface for the first time and loved it, minus the heart breaking part. But I don’t even regret that part, I learned a lot about myself and what I want out of life and I don’t regret learning that. My family and I also spent the year getting ready for my sister’s wedding and it was amazingly beautiful. (glad it’s over and done with :P) Totally worth all the stress though.

You know what, I don’t really have anything else to say besides HAPPY NEW YEAR!!! I hope everyone is having a wonderful New Year so far and gets safely home after they finish drinking and partying it up. I myself spent NYE with my wonderful family playing games and eating a bunch of sweets. :9 I might regret that last part later but for now I am happy. So here are some instagram pics and stuff!!!

Song of the night is The Leave Behind by this guy. I love this song. How did you spend New Years Eve? I hope you had/ are having fun.

[audio:http://numb.honey-vanity.net/wp-content/uploads/2013/01/TheLeaveBehind-FortChristmas.mp3|titles=TheLeaveBehind-FortChristmas]Thanks for reading, and again Happy New Year!

Another Christmas has come and gone and no matter how old I get, I still anticipate the opening of gifts. I see no point in waiting until midnight, seeing as no one in my family expects an actual visit from Santa.

 I can’t remember the exact age I stopped believing in Santa. It had to be around 4th or 5th grade, my younger sister and I would wait up until around 5 in the morning because that was the earliest my parents would allow us to open gifts. My older sister stayed up to assist with the wrapping and the consuming of Santa’s cookies. She was also there to make sure we were in our rooms and “sleeping”.  I always tried to actually sleep on Christmas eve so Christmas would hurry up and arrive. But try as I might, that never happened. Now we open presents pretty early, it took a bit of persuading but my mom finally caved. What? Just because I am 23 doesn’t mean I can’t enjoy the holiday and act a bit childish. We waited until after dinner to open gifts on Monday. The Weirdos were in New Orleans for the holiday so they opened gifts on Friday and we got to open our gifts from them. Our parents were given a record player. We went to different record stores to find them both albums. My favorite record store in Houston is Allrecords the owner Fred is just wonderful. He knows practically everything about music so he is always helpful. His store is down the street from Mija’s office so Kat and I went to visit her and made a trip to his store last week. If you haven’t got the time be careful because Fred the music man will talk your ear off. Anyway, back to the gift opening. I have basically everything I could ever want/need. So when my mom asked me what I wanted this year I just said whatever is fine. I was totally surprised to receive the gifts I did. My parents bought both Kat and me a new laptop. Windows 8 is completely different from Windows 7 and Vista. It will take some getting used to but I love it.  Now if only they made cool cases for it like they did for macs. -.-  Along with the new pc, I got a few ds games, I already finished playing Resident Evil Revelations. The damn zombies would fall from the ceilings and scare the heck out of me. But still the game was pretty fun to play, of course I nick named a bunch of the zombies after genitalia. i.e. penis tongue and vagina cockroach. Lovely images no? XD

She & Him- Christmas Day- I don’t like too many holiday songs after being in choir for four years. So I thought I’d share one that isn’t a classic. [audio:http://numb.honey-vanity.net/wp-content/uploads/2012/12/SheHim-ChristmasDay.mp3]

It’s weird updating my blog on another laptop. I spent most of the day logging in to all of my social networks, and let me tell you remembering certain passwords was tricky. I usually add my age to the end of a special word and use that as a password. The dumb thing about this is the fact that I do age. So that number changes. -.- So I sat there typing that word and ages 18 to 23 hoping it was one of them. I’m an idiot. It was brilliant at the time, now I it just leaves me feeling frustrating. I managed to figure out all of my passwords minus my Skype one. So I had to update that one with a new password…I already can’t remember what I used. -.- So bad. The best thing about this new laptop is no more alien sounds! My past two laptops both made alien noises whenever I used Skype. So I’m excited to know that those sounds are gone. Now I may Skype in peace.  Christmas was fantastic, dinner was great and spending time with my family has been so much fun. I’ve done nothing but sleep late oh and read…for fun! I had to read so much over the semester that now I can actually read for fun and not worry about a quiz. So nice. Oh and I just found out my grades for the semester…not all good news. Two B’s and D…plus. :/ I knew passing that class would be impossible. Good thing is my GPA is still in good standing. I’m upset that I didn’t pass this stupid class. The most annoying part is, is that I just needed about 5 more points for a 73. That would mean passing. This Spring I need to really study more. There is always one class that I let fall on the back burner. I can’t allow that to happen anymore.

Classes for the Spring:

• Literary Studies- Mon. 4-5:30
• Cr. Writing…the one I somehow managed to skip-Tues and Thurs. 11:30-1:00
• Contemporary Novel – Tues and Thurs. 2:30-4:00
• Gulf Coast …not a class but I’m interning again, this time on Wed. 1:00-3:00

And that is my schedule, Monday’s I can sleep in and I don’t have a class on Wednesday’s aside from interning so that leaves plenty of room for reading/writing and studying. I need to hurry up and graduate already. :/ pffft Anyway, I hope your holiday was splendid and may your new year be just as awesome.

Thanks for reading.

“Guilt burned like vomit in my throat.” -Leslie Feinberg, Stone Butch Blues

So I guess my friendship with bus dude isn’t going to work out. Yesterday, we had a conversation that did not end very nicely. I had misunderstood him completely and he did the same with me. I automatically filed him into the friend zone after our first dinner together. After said dinner, I let him know that I wasn’t looking to start anything up and we  agreed to be friends. We texted back and forth, but we only hung out once more, in person, after that and it just further proved that I wasn’t interested nor ready to date. I figured I didn’t have to reiterate because he never actually showed any real interest. But who am I kidding? When a guy asks for a chick’s number that is a sign he might be interested. I was in denial. He never told me he was interested in me as more than a friend and I just clung to the idea of a friendship. He then told me that he wasn’t sure if he was interested, but as he got to know me his  interest grew. He told me he was willing to wait. Willing to wait? WTF? Why do guys think this is romantic to say? Bus dude is the third guy to tell me this and frankly I find it annoying. Willing to wait? You don’t know how long you would have to wait and you don’t know who you will meet during that waiting period. Oh and I think my feelings should also be a factor in this equation. Life throws obstacles at you and you cannot guarantee that those obstacles won’t end up changing your mind. It doesn’t make you a bad person, it doesn’t mean your feelings weren’t real, it just makes you human. I told him that the longer he’d wait, the more I would end up seeing him as a friend.  He then said that time was a more pleasant alternative and lets just see what happens. I translated that into, “Shhhhh. I’m not listening to you or your feelings and I figure if I wait then you will come around sooner or later.” I cannot control who I have feelings for. Those feelings just happen.

I feel as though this should be the theme song to my blog. 

I really wish bus dude had been more upfront about his intentions and then I could have reminded him of mine. I refuse to believe that a single male and female are unable to maintain a friendship. Is that really all that impossible? Will feelings on either end always develop? I’m frustrated and I feel bad for hurting bus dude but it wasn’t as if I wasn’t honest from the beginning. Towards the end of the conversation, I told him that as long as he didn’t form any expectations then he could do as he pleased. I didn’t mean to sound cold-hearted but I didn’t want any more misunderstandings to occur. And don’t give me this crap about how nice guys are always exiled to the friend zone. They are exiled there because they, A. are either too much of a pansy to speak up about their feelings or, B. a chick just really cannot imagine being in a romantic relationship with them. Forgive me for not being able to change my feelings to match his. I’m just getting more angry as I think about this. I feel horrible how this ended but I don’t think I made a mistake. I know where my feelings are and I can’t change them. Part of me thinks my life would be much easier if I didn’t have these feelings but I’m tired of feeling guilty for still having feelings for my ex. Yes, he was a dumb ass but I can’t help that I still like him. I really want to blame him for my current situation but this is all my fault. I was the one who gave bus dude my number and I shouldn’t have assumed that he was only interested in a friendship. So now I’m out a friend and I feel like a bitch. He ended with saying I’m going to go away for a bit. I translated that to be, “We are no longer friends and I don’t want to speak to you.”

This is going to make future bus rides very awkward. -.- I guess I should just ignore the opposite sex for awhile. No friendships or relationships. Just pretend men do not exist…yes I’m being dramatic. I know.

Thanks for reading.

P.s. Is this karma for going through high school with no drama what’s so ever?

So I’ve had the song, Dog Days Are Over, stuck in my head already for 3 days straight. I’ve been playing it on repeat and now I plan to get it stuck in your head as well. Mwahahaha!!! But it’s a good song. I love the music video for it. Florence is dressed in a pretty dress and then as the song progresses she resembles a Japanese kabuki actress. My favorite parts are her arm movements in the beginning and then the chorus. I actually have no idea what it’s about, but I like it and the music video so I hope you enjoy it.

So the other day I found out that my high school boyfriend knocked up his girlfriend. That sounds weird out loud. I met him when I was 16 and we dated on and off again and then when I turned 18 it became more serious. Our relationship ended when I turned 19 and that was that. We talked a bit over the years but we were never really “friends”. Can one really be friends with an ex? Anyway, so the girl he dated after me didn’t last very long and I have no idea how long he’s been in a relationship with his current girlfriend but I’m assuming he’s happy. I’m not bothered by this I’m just really shocked. Not by his ability to impregnate just by the idea of him having a child and becoming a father. It’ s just so weird. 0.0 So much time has passed and the boy I knew is long gone. I haven’t spoken to him in ages but we aren’t on bad terms. He was my first boyfriend, the first boy I ever kissed, ect. ect. It’s weird but I’m happy that he’s happy and I wish him and his growing family all the best.

So over at Lazy Explorers, Chloe is hosting an amazing blog hop along with three other great bloggers.  Click the banner above to get to the main the entry and check it out yourself. I’ve already found a bunch of great bloggers thanks to this.

Well I’m exhausted and I have no idea what I’m still doing up. Good morning/night. :3

Thanks for reading.

So this past week was pretty busy. A perfect week to end a perfect Birthmonth. That’s right, I pretty much celebrated my birthday all month. XD

Last Monday, I went with a friend and had the chance to hear Junot Diaz read from his newest book, This is How You Lose Her. A collection of breakup stories. He was wonderful, I never thought much about an authors ability to speak in front of an audience. It totally makes you want to read their writing more if they are great speakers. And I never thought about even getting a chance to meet an author. But that is one of the good things about living in Houston. I’ve had the chance to meet several different authors since moving here and it has been amazing. My friend and I stood in line for about 2 hours to get Diaz to sign our books. He was just so friendly and adorable, a lot shorter than I thought too.  I really wish I was able to buy his new book but that will have to wait. My too read list is much too long at the moment and have absolutely no time to read what I want to read. Moving along to Wednesday, Mija took me to see Beauty and The Beast the musical. It was so amazing! Like I’ve mentioned before, this is my favorite Disney movie and it was such a huge part of my childhood. To be able to see it as an adult it was just a wonderful experience and I can’t thank my sister enough for doing this for me.

Instagram Pics

1. Glitter Chucks: These are my bridesmaid shoes. Yes, they are freaking awesome.
2. Junot Diaz autograph
3. Beauty and The Beast Playbill and ticket. Totally framed it. >.<

Continuing on with the rest of the week, Thursday night I went to Poison Girl for the end of the month Poison Pen (reading series) and had a blast with friends. I always have such a great time at this bar and had just the one drink this time. ;P  Friday, I spent the day with my sisters and bro. We walked around the Galleria and played an exciting game of, I Spy the quinceañera dress. Let’s just say it wasn’t very hard to spot them. -.-  Saturday, we met up with some friends at the bowling alley and then went out for pizza. It was a great night filled with a lot of laughing and nerd talk. I love hanging out with people who are just as nerdy as I am. :3

So I was doing my daily blog browsing and discovered this. This is Willie Nelson. I wrote a short story about him over at Joy’s blog and she totally illustrated it. How freaking adorable is that? I love her blog. :3 You should totally go and leave a character description or story for her to illustrate. She is super talented. Thanks again Joy.

Today’s song,  Right as Rain by Adele. This is the only song of hers that I really like listening to.  Ok, I’m off to finish reading about orgies and Mexicans before going to bed. (Hence the title)[audio:http://numb.honey-vanity.net/wp-content/uploads/2012/10/RightAsRain-Onesongfavs.mp3|titles=RightAsRain-Onesongfavs]

Thanks for reading. 

Kellie Winnell over at Give a Girl a Blog just updated her blog with a great post and I’ve decided to snag the idea. :3

Loving :  There a ton of things that I am loving at the moment. One thing being the people in my life. Time with friends and family is just so important to me. I mean there isn’t more I can say besides how lucky I am.

Reading : Due to my two lit classes I have a lot of required reading to get through before actually having a chance to read something I want to. Most of them I can read pretty fast, but sometimes I’m just not  in the mood to read and I’d rather just play video games. I am now starting my second book for my Mexican Lit class entitled Bless me, Ultima by Rudolfo Anaya. Only on chapter four so can’t say if I like or not.

Watching : Just finished watching the first season of Tales of the City. I had to read the book for my G&L lit class so I decided to watch the series as well. Pretty good.

Thinking about : Homework. I have two tests coming up. I have horrible test anxiety so I’m hoping things go well. And the deadline for my first paper is coming up at the start of October and I’m actually having problems with finding a topic. -.-

Looking forward to : Actually looking forward to next week. I have Junot Diaz reading on Monday and then Beauty and The Beast musical on Wednesday and possibly a Poison Pen reading on Thursday.

Not looking forward to : TESTS AND DEADLINES!!! -.-

Listening to : I’m actually listening to Fallin’ by Connie Francis. It’s featured on the new Target commercial and I just can’t get it out of my head. I’m putting this song on my sexy song list. That’s right. I have a list of songs that sound sexy to me.

 

[audio:http://numb.honey-vanity.net/wp-content/uploads/2012/09/Fallin1958-ConnieFrancis.mp3|titles=Fallin(1958)-ConnieFrancis]

And since this post lacks pictures, here are several instagram photos from the past few days.

1. Sushi for dinner!!! :9
2. My free birthday scoop at B&R
3. Közi can now be outside. Bad thing is, he’s gotten used to being in doors and wants to come in more frequently than he used to.
4. My best friend had her second child on the 15th. Her name is Lexie, she’s so tiny and so freaking adorable.
5. I had lunch with another friend and she crocheted me some flowers. I’m usually on the giving side of handmade gifts so this is my first time receiving a handmade gift. All I can say is that it’s a nice feeling and I hope others feel that way when I give them something I have made.
6. Yesterday, I missed my bus so I decided to take the train instead of waiting for the next bus. I won’t be doing that very often, even though the train is so much more fun to take than the bus. >.<

Thanks for reading.