Inside Kimmy's Mind

“I’ve learned that good-byes will always hurt, pictures will never replace having been there, memories good and bad will bring tears, and words can never replace feelings.”

I had a bunch of stuff written. But my internet was being wonky and wouldn’t work causing me to lose the “Stuff” that was typed here before. So now I am extremely annoyed because I don’t quite remember how I worded things. Tsk. But I know I liked it. Sigh-_- So know that from this point on I am annoyed. Ok on with the annoyed post. … continue reading this entry.

“Creativity is not the finding of a thing, but the making something out of it after it is found.” – James Russell Lowell

Part one: All because of a quote, this is what happens when I stay up all hours of the night thinking and have little sleep. Oh my poor brain.

I have come to the conclusion that I have lost something. Its not a for sure feeling. Just an odd one. The something in question is:

Creativity.

How does one acquire creativity? I mean can it be learned/taught? Or is it something you either have or don’t have? Can it be found or lost? I seem to have lost track of mine. I love to paint, draw, write, make videos and sew. I love to create things. Things that are apart of me in some way or another. Except something is different about me. I mean I realize people change all the time its not earth shattering. I haven’t painted anything in a long time. I miss it. I know I can paint anytime I want to. I write anytime I want to. I can sew and make a video at any time. (Well not any time but you know what I mean) But just today I have realized that when I paint or draw something I need something to look at when I draw it. Meaning it doesn’t come out of my head but out someone else’s. I mean I know that is how you learn somethings by looking at it being done and then proceeding to imitate it. I DEMAND MY CREATIVITY BACK.

Who has taken it? I’m not sure, probably the other not so creative side of me. (What a bitch) How am I supposed to get it back or can I even retrieve it?

Part two: Ok sane again. Well for the most part.

I just watched a movie called Phoebe in Wonderland. It stars Elle Fanning, Dakota Fanning’s younger sister. She is a 9 year old girl with a vivid imagination who also has turrets and obsessive control disorder. Both her parents are writers and her mother has chosen Alice in Wonderland to be the inspiration for her dissertation. Phoebe(Elle) becomes obsessed with that world. I rather liked this movie. It made me want to draw my own version of Alice in Wonderland. I mean I know that the story was written by someone who must have been on a permanent high, but I think thats what made it such an enticing story. I mean come on who hasn’t wanted to escape reality to retreat to a world with no boundaries? Good movie you should watch it if you get the chance. Ok well I better get some sleep. tsk.

“Be what you would seem to be — or, if you’d like it put more simply — Never imagine yourself not to be otherwise than what it might appear to others that what you were or might have been was not otherwise than what you had been would have appeared to them to be otherwise.” -Alice in Wonderland

First off I’d like to say thanks to Mija for my new blog layout! THANK YOU MIJA!!!!

Ok. Well I went to see Coraline( it was absolutely adorable, Neil Gaiman is a mastermind!) with my Valentine, and sisters. Missy thanks for spending Valentine’s Day with me. You know most single people see Valentine’s day as S.A.D. (Single Awareness Day) Now its not like I haven’t been single before, its just I haven’t been single in over a year. Now this time last year I spent my time looking for the perfect card for my significant other. But this year? I went all out. lol Which is funny because I went all out for my friend and not for my boyfriend (when I had one). hehehe I was like hey just because I don’t have a boyfriend that doesn’t mean I can’t celebrate Valentine’s Day. Ok so its a day for lovers to announce once again just how much they care for each other. But I see it as a day for people, single or taken to let anyone they love know just that. My friend Missy had totally surprised me with chocolates and a love bug plushie along with a pink rose. I felt so special. So I made her a love jar (which contained a few reasons why I love her, not all but a few) and chocolate covered strawberries.(which were good) I hope you enjoyed them Missy.

I am tired. I haven’t been sleeping right at all. I know I am the only one who can solve this problem. Tuesday I have a math test and I’m not quite sure which part of my research essay is due this week. Damnit. (My leg hurts >_<) I love the show United States of Tara. It is so cute. You should definitely watch it. Oh and I watched the show Doll House as well. Its made by the same creators as Buffy the Vampire Slayer and Angel. The first episode was pretty good so I’m gonna keep watching it, unless it gets stupid. But so far so good. Cate I can’t get over how adorable your new video was. It was amazing! Speaking of videos, I am so annoyed with Youtube right now. They keep muting my videos. So far in the past couple of months they have pointed out two of my videos that were in violation with the music. Ok and today I had to delete a video that I made over a year ago. How am I supposed to get a famous bands permission to use their songs? I mean come on really? Cyber stalking is annoying and so junior high. I also wanted to talk about this article. It says that a 12 year old boy from London impregnated his 14 year old girlfriend. Are you serious? What 14 year old girl dates a 12 year old boy? I mean really? Ok they haven’t taken a paternity test to prove that the now 13 yr, boy is in fact the father. I mean wow. Does a 12 year old boy even know how to impregnate a girl? I mean isn’t he still going through puberty? I doubt that he is the father. Another article says, that the girl had slept with two other guys so I’m guessing either one of those dumb asses are likely the father of this naive girls newborn baby girl. I think its just weird for a 13 year old boy to have a baby. I mean when a 15 yr old girl has a baby its mostly because their stupid “older” boyfriend can’t either: A. Date someone his own age. B. Keep it in his pants. C. Is way too lazy to purchase a condom and use said condom. I mean really? I know young teens are stupid and impressionable but parents really need to explain to their dumb underage daughters and their horny overage sons (and vice versa) the seriousness of having sex. I mean I don’t want to sound like an after school special, but come on parents of the world. TALK TO YOUR DUMB KIDS. I find it strange that an older girl slept with a 12 year old boy. So I am assuming it was her doing that initiated the sexual relationship with this kid named Alfie. Of course I’m not saying she deserves all the blame. I find them along with their parents at fault for allowing their children to spend the night together. That’s right, they allowed Alfie to spend the night at his girlfriend’s house, where I’m guessing the fornicating took place. How sad. sigh.

I read this short story called Criminal Act by Harry Harrison. Where people are only allowed to have two children if you were to have a any more than that then you would have to die so your child could live. The main character of this story however fights back. They hire an assassin to kill the “offender” and if he fails then he takes the place as the one less mouth to feed. Of course (sorry if I ruin it) in the end the main character kills the assassin and thinks everything will be fine. He can live with his wife and three kids. His wife is pregnant with twins. And thats how it ends. Creepy right? Another short story called Problems with Creativeness by Thomas M. Disch. In this story, only smart people are allowed to have children. If you were not considered smart then you were not allowed to reproduce. The water supply had a contraceptive in it so thats how they stopped people from reproducing. These two stories were written in the 50’s and 60’s. Interesting reads.

They are called Condoms! You know, in case you haven’t heard of them.

I like reading horoscopes. Today’s reads-A surprise is coming your way this afternoon, and it’s going to push a few of your plans for the day way off track. This disruption isn’t necessarily a bad thing, though. It could be just the thing to mix up your life and infuse some exciting new energy into it! You need to learn to be less rigid about things anyway — and this is the first day of your lessons. If you can gain appreciation for the unknown and the unexpected, you will find more opportunities in life.

I need to get a job! I really hope I get the job at Library. Then I can set up a savings account which will come in handy when I move in with my sister. Sigh. Oh creepy thing happened the other day. Two girls came to the door and basically did what this article says. SO READ IT! Its creepy. (I just noticed I have a bruise on my knuckle. I know random side thought) Mom just gave Kat her laptop so now she has no excuse, she better update her blog more often and she better make her vlogs on time! Do you hear that Kat? I mean it!!!!! Anyway, my lappy is dying a slow and painful death. The battery is shot to hell. So until I have a job and save up money to buy a new laptop, (well first I would save up so I can help mom buy herself a laptop) I want to buy a new battery module until that fine day comes. sigh. My poor lappy.

Mija don’t be stressed ok? I miss you and hope to see you next weekend. Just keep thinking positive ok?

Virgo–They are generally reticent when faced with anything or anyone new. However, once they feel comfortable, they can talk up a storm. (How true is this about me? Very true. I try to warn people about that.) Virgo ascendant natives have a tendency to worry a lot, especially when confronted with new situations. They notice the tiniest details that others overlook.

“You get ideas from daydreaming. You get ideas from being bored. You get ideas all the time. The only difference between writers and other people is we notice when we’re doing it.”- Neil Gaiman

A very interesting thing happened today. Something that is even more rare then pigs flying and blue moons. Dun dun dun….my cats slept next to each other. *GASP* Tis an unusual sight. But then I missed it up when I went outside to get a better picture and Kozi got up and left Mr. alone with the leaves. Poor Mr.

After dad finished eating dinner he let Misto inside and held him and proceeded to tell us for the 100th time that it looks like Misto is wearing chaps. Lmao! Oh how silly. Well this weekend was completely uneventful. I did absolutely nothing on Saturday. Sunday I went to bed at 4:30 in the morning, and woke up at 6:30am to go to church with dad. I washed my clothes and then took a nap and didn’t wake up til like 4 something. I’m just messing around on the internet. Sigh wow boring blog. I need to finish reading NEVERWHERE by next week. But I’m also watching the television show that aired in 1996 on BBC Two. Neil Gaiman is so fucking awesome. I need to straighten my hair. I now hear Mr. fighting with another cat or something. I swear he makes the strangest noises. Oh you should look up songs by Melanie Horsnell. Her songs are used in a lot of commericals. My favorite one is this McDonald’s one. So cute. So yeah recap, I did nothing and now I am updating my blog with pictures of my cats and fast food commercials. How pathetic am I? Well this week on Wednesday I don’t have any classes. Hurray! So I can film my KimCateKat video. And put it up on the 6th. Hopefully. Well I’m going to straighten my hair and watch/read NEVERWHERE. YAY.

Life — and I don’t suppose I’m the first to make this comparison — is a disease: sexually transmitted, and invariably fatal.- Neil Gaiman (I thought this one was hilarious)