Inside Kimmy's Mind

I sometimes pick out particular memories and tamper with them. As if they could be changed. I mold them into what I want them to be. Even though I know the past cannot be changed. But still I find this game interesting. Playing it over and over again. Changing things I did say to things I wish I could have said. If only I could learn from the past and think before actually saying things I might regret.

Have you ever loved someone so much that you were willing to do anything? I mean anything?

Movie spoilers!

You were warned.

I just watched the French movie Jeux d’enfants aka Love Me if You Dare. I found this movie rather interesting. I love out of reality/day dreaming/foreign/romantic movies. Of course I do think the lovers should have grown up and stopped being so stubborn. I mean their dares kept getting more dangerous as they got older. The ending has them die for their love. They were buried alive in cement. But I’d rather see it as they grew old together and lived out their eternal love. Its one of those movies where its sort of confusing and it leaves you to pick your own ending in a way. So I pick that they lived happily ever after. Fin.

But does love like that exist? Where you would do anything the person who holds your affection tells you to do? I mean anything? Whether is humiliating, illegal, life threatening for you or others? I mean these people saw life as a game. As children it was fine yet they should have stopped it when they reached adulthood. I mean why use love to for selfish reasons? I mean why not entertain themselves by being together? But still I recommend this movie for others. It leaves you thinking. Which is why I am here blogging now. Of course I’m sorry I give away endings to movies so this entry might leave you not wanting to watch this movie. If so? I still think you should give it a try. I cried a little during this movie and then I laughed. Because it does have its humorous parts as well. So watch it…if you dare? HAHAHAHHA That was cheesy, but I couldn’t resist. hehe

Of course this movie sort of leaves me wanting to play a game. But the sort of game like in the French movie Amélie. Like leave a note for a stranger to find like in a book, or in the computer lab at school? But I doubt I could pull it off. And the chances of finding someone that was game or not? Pretty slim. Where are all the creative fun people?

Yes! I have just cleaned my room. It disparately needed it. And I have to say the atmosphere in my room feels a lot better. Of course my room is still cluttered but my cabinets are clean. So awesome points are awarded to me. >_<;

Ok I know what you are thinking,”That’s her definition of clean?’ Like I said still really cluttered. But I cleaned the dark abyss aka the cabinet bench under my windows. It contains items from my younger days. And of course trash. I mean

Why did I keep half the junk I found in there? I found old junior high folders containing notes and assignments and of course memories of my past. But I threw most of that away. I mean the things I sought fit to throw away now. I guess at the time I just put them in there to get them out of my way. But I could use that space forthe crap that I don’t want to throw away. Ok the stuff isn’t crap but there was a lot of stuff that was crap. things. I’m glad I got rid of those things.
True Blood series is freaking amazing. I used to think Bill was the hot vampire. Not anymore. He isn’t the only hot one. Eric Northman played by Alexander Skarsgård is incredibly hot. After this past Sunday’s episode I definitely do not want this season to end. I hate when shows I fall in love with go away. I am impatient enough as it is waiting for the week to go by for the episode. Now I will have to wait months for the next season. There are only three episodes left in the season. No fair.

Isn’t he hot? This is a Calendar for Fangtasia. (The bar his character owns in the series)Sigh. I could never get tired of looking at that. >_< lol I can’t wait for next Sunday’s episode. Of course I feel like it will take forever to get to it. Because Friday I have to get my eyes checked. And I hate going. I don’t have to have that stuff puffed into my eyes. But I do have to do eye drops. And I hate things coming at my eyes and getting too close. That’s why I can never own contacts. Because it would be a bitch putting them on and taking them off. I mean I’m sure contacts are something one gets used to. But I wouldn’t be able to stand putting those things in my eyes. I’m such a cry baby drama queen. I just hate getting my eyes checked. So Friday is going to get here fast, its just the whole waiting in the waiting room and getting that crap over with that takes forever. The positive thing is I get new glasses. Because Kat and I need them. Kat more so than me because I take care of my glasses. I hope it goes by fast. Of course I put up a fight which makes it go by incredibly slow. -_- I wish I wasn’t such a cry baby.

May the force be my ally on Friday. Oh and my birthday is coming up!!! Yay. That also means Missy’s wedding!!!

Women are high strung emotional creatures that talk too much and expect too much from their significant others. Correct? Men are fucking bastards that cannot for the love of chocolate (or insert something you love here) know what the hell they want, except for the fact that one woman just isn’t enough. Right?

WRONG!!!!!

I’m tired of hearing these sometimes true misconceptions. And I am aware that being female that makes me biased. But what the hell. I mean if you honestly think about all the things men say about women and vice versa. Its all bullshit. I mean all the stories we are told, are from other people. I mean yeah some people have the luxury to experience the same situations. But I mean really why blame the assholes that cheat on us or the pathetic losers that just date us so they are no longer lonely? You dated them. During a break up, you are either the dumpee, or the person that is doing the most damage. And of course you go through your blue period where you are completely heart broken and feel like your whole world is gone. And that you will never be able to love another human being for as long as you live. LIES. You do love again. And sometimes the same thing happens to you more than once. … continue reading this entry.

Woah. I hate being confused. So in order to not be confused I ask tons of annoying questions over and over until I am no longer confused. Which sometimes takes a while in order for that to happen. What can I say? I like to make sure I heard everything correct so there are no misunderstandings.

I am really dense. If you don’t say exactly what you mean then I probably won’t understand. Which makes me confused and irritated. I like understanding things from other peoples point of views. But if you don’t spell it out for me then I will forever be in the dark and misunderstand you. I might even create my own version of what you’re trying to say. Which is most likely far from the actual truth. Is that what you want? I think not.

But anyway, I have a cousin that is starting a new relationship. My cousin and I are completely different. And we each do things differently. So we don’t always agree with each others advice. Anyway the guy she is now seeing is completely different from the guys she normally dates. And she is being extremely impatient. He is what you call a gentleman. You know the kind? They respect their date by not immediately attacking her when the lights go out in the movie theater. Especially on a first date. She is my cousin, so I don’t mean to judge her. But her logic is WRONG! And she needs to keep her urges in her pants. Which is exactly what I told her. I mean I don’t have tons of experience so its not like I should be giving relationship advice. But this is what I see as common sense. Why rush things? The whole beginning of a relationship is one of the best parts in my opinion. The timid dates and the flirting, along with the sweet compliments that seem to never end. I mean its beautiful…O.o…What is this? Some type of Hallmark card? That was so cheesy. But I think you see my point. If not? Then…go watch an 80’s teen movie. They are nothing but cheesy. And I love them.

The bit of song I have included in this entry is by Mika and its called You Made Me. I love Mika.[audio:http://numb.honey-vanity.net/wp-content/uploads/2009/08/YouMadeMe-Mika.mp3]

Liking someone. Is it just something that happens without us realizing it? Is there a particular reason that makes you find a person irresistible? I mean does it start off as so insignificant that it slowly turns into something important to you? All of these rhetorical questions just bury themselves in my thoughts as they overlap and I over analyze something that was just hypothetical to begin with. This is one of my problems. I over think every little word that is said and I forget if the actual words that I am trying to see were even said to begin with. Does this make sense? If not? My bad. Sigh.

Ok Japan has a ton of cute things that I wish we had here. One of the things I wish we had here is Purikura photo booths. Now we have photo booths here. But lets face it.They suck. And lately I haven’t seen any photo booths around to tell you the truth. There is no longer an arcade in my towns mall. And the photo booths they used to have are now gone. I think. Tomorrow…I mean later today I am on a quest to find a sticker photo booth. I’m sure I won’t be able to find one in my town because there isn’t any. But it could be that I haven’t actually had a need for one. But anyway going back to Purikura and its awesomeness. I know I can always find brushes for it on photoshop but I have always wanted to print out stickers and such. I found this site that lets you make purikura and order sticker sets like you get in Japan. Just click on the picture of Kat and me. It will take you to the site. Or click here if you are the type to skim and only click on highlighted things that appear to be links.

The other day I went to a store called Calico Cats Sewing Center. I didn’t get a good look around because they were closing. But I now I know where I can buy nice fabric. Of course its like 8 bucks a yard so thats annoying. But this is a family owned business it looks like. This is a picture from the net. But I intend to take pictures of my own later today. From what little I saw I am already in love with the store. Mom also took us to Hastings where I got the sequel to Evermore. Which is Blue Moon.  I love getting new books. I wish I could get a job at Hastings in the book department. Sigh. I will get a job. I am not giving up!

So I have a quest to fulfill later today. And to find the other fabric store that my sister says exist. I should go to sleep now. Night night.

“Adults are like kids…
Day and night are the same…
Friends are like lovers…
To like is also to love…
Its’s easy to say this,
but it’s never this easy in life. When I’m with you, I’ll know the answer.”- Akira Shouko

My sister and I would baby sit our neighbors cat. It started when my sister was like 12 who is now 24, and then after she left home I started taking care of Spicy with Kathy when I was 13 or so. I am now 19 and I have up til now took care of this cat when her owners go out of town. But sadly she has past away.

I know she was old, and I know all things come to an end. But I never thought it would happen. I can’t imagine how Laura must feel finding her beloved pet cat dead. Being an owner of two cats myself I know how attached one can get. They may be pets but they are still family. Spicy was the sweetest cat I knew. She would rub against my leg waiting for me to feed her. And then brush her coat when she was finished eating. Sometimes I would fall asleep there and wake up with her sleeping next to me or on me. I’m going to miss Spicy.

I already missed a day this month, and I could just go back and add an entry and just pretend it was written on that day. But I have decided I wouldn’t cheat. So I will try again next month, and during that time I will be better prepared and make sure that I update my blog every day that month. Plus next month is my birthday and I will have already started classes so I should have much more to update with. But I will eventually do the whole month of blogging thing. I should try to make my blog less boring. But I have no clue on how to do that so…yeah.

… continue reading this entry.

I haven’t slept since my last blog. I am trying to make it to 5 or 6 pm until I can go to sleep. Because then I can sleep the whole night and not wake up at like 1 am or something. So I finished another bag. I had to do something to fight the sleep, and it worked seeing as I am still up right now. But as soon as it is the ok sleep zone, I will be out like a light. The sooner the better.>I had a ton written before. But for some odd reason it didn’t save and now it is all gone.Well seeing as I have to have something to update with for today. I decided to keep that for todays update.

So yeah this will remain my shortest entry.

I am trying to make a purse. But it isn’t coming out the way I want it to. I for the love of chocolate cannot draw/cut a straight line. I’m not sure why. But isn’t that something you learn in like the first grade?

The night before I made Kat a Japanese knot purse. It came out better than I thought it would. Now I am trying to make myself a sling purse. Lets just say things aren’t working out. But I will not give up. I am using Beatles fabric and I can’t just waste this fabric unless I intend to use it. So its too late to go back now. I must continue on. I know I said that would try to update every day this month, but maybe I should just try every day this week or something? lol I will still try every day this month though. TrueBlood should be coming on tonight so I’m going to watch that and hope it will get me in a more positive mood. I finished making my sling purse. I think I did a two steps wrong.  But oh well you can only learn from your mistakes right? Its reversible, unless I decide to put pockets in it.

I think I’m going to attempt updating every day this month. I doubt I will be able to, its not like my life isn’t  that exciting. I’m sure I will be able to think of topics because my brain is always thinking of the most oddest things. But its just picking one that isn’t too boring. Lets see if I can do it. If not then I will try next month. >_<

Missy’s bridal shower was a success. I mean I had fun. I was so afraid that the games would be boring and that the guest wouldn’t want to play the games and whatnot. But they did. I was happy. I did take video of Missy looking absolutely hot in a huge bra and underwear and a boa along with a huge night gown and some crazy socks. I intend to post the video on here soon. I would have had more pictures but I forgot to put the battery back into the camera after it was done charging. I am so stupid. So I could only have a dailybooth with Missy. But I intend to have pictures from the Bachlorette party and of course the wedding itself. I love Missy! After the Bridal Shower I came home and then mom decided we were going to go to church. I was so sleepy and hungry. I stayed up the night before printing out question sheets for the shower. But the main reason I was up late was because I was making Kat a purse. A Japanese Knot Purse to be exact. I followed different tutorials online. Most of them were very difficult. But Kat and I thought it through together. Of course we also annoy the hell out of each other. Not my fault that Kat likes fighting with me. I am so sleepy. Even as I type this out I am falling asleep. I still have to wash the dishes and then take a shower. But I am trying to update before its midnight. I guess I can add pictures later.

Ok I keep dozing off here. It was my god brother’s birthday today. So I got to see my god parents. My god father is so funny. He starting going on and on about my converse shoes saying how he used to have a pair of high tops for basketball. Then some how pink shoes were introduced in the conversation, then he asked my dad to dance. And then dad told him no and hurt his feelings. lol

My Godmother and me.

Then my Godfather wanted to get into the pictures. I was going to take them separate. But he interrupted the picture taking. My face is so red. I do not photograph well in certain lights. I mean I’m not really photogenic at all. But ever since I started blogging more, and getting a dailybooth I have wanted to use my camera all the time now.