Inside Kimmy's Mind

So last Friday my sister and I took care of our neighbors 5 yr old for a few hours. His name is Kyle and he is really adorable. However the time I spent watching him has not changed my mind about children. And I still find them annoying and can’t see myself having any. Unless you can guarantee that they will come out as well behaved children.

Kyle started off shy and quiet then progressed to talking a mile a min. He then showed off his pet turtle and explained how his older brother Nick was really mean to him. I then reassured him and said that is just how older siblings are. And before I knew it, Kyle was no longer shy and quickly became hyper. Watching Kyle wasn’t difficult, it was just really exhausting. I kept wondering if he was a little girl would it have been easier? I imagined she would have wanted to play dress up and tea party or give me make over. Of course I’m sure picking out a dvd for her to watch would have kept her quiet and happy. With little boys however, they have no attention span. They have to be doing something and get bored so easily. I have no problem playing games and pretending to get hit by pretend bullets and Kat and I played dead on cue yet he had no mercy and thought it was necessary to hit us with his taped up plastic gun. What is it with little boys and hitting? Do they not understand that if you hit someone with a toy gun it does hurt?  -.- After killing us he picked a dvd to watch, which I thought would keep him distracted for awhile. I was wrong. He was quickly distracted by his toys and kept taking out different toy cars to show us and expected us to admire them. We oohed and awed to keep him happy but then that wasn’t enough. So he thought jumping on my back was fun, it wasn’t like he weighed a ton. But I’d really rather not have a monkey child jumping on my back. I played it off and would swing back and forth to make him laugh then i started tickling him. He started laughing uncontrollably and then said that if I continued to tickle him he would start crying. -.- I told him that if he did that again I would tickle again. He stopped. Another thing he did to pass the time was taking items that weren’t his, such as Kat’s cell phone, glasses and her right sock. He would run off with it and we would run after him, I think the trick is to appear uninterested and he will return it. But we didn’t want to risk the chances of him hiding Kat’s things. He locked himself in his parents room for a few seconds and finally I threatened to call his mom. We went back to his room to catch the ending of the movie. I had hope the movie would have done a better job at entertaining him. But it didn’t. After the movie was over he took out racing tracks for his cars, and set them up in the living room. I was up first. I pushed the little green button that would push my car, and he won. Children love winning. Why is that? I mean I know winning is a nice feeling. But why does that matter at such a young age? He continued to win.

I continued to seem disappointed at my lost yet happy for his wins. All of a sudden his boxer Jeda (not sure on spelling) thought my lap looked comfortable and laid on top of me. What is it with large dogs thinking they are small lap dogs? I’m not a fan of large dogs nor small yippy yappy ones either but Jeda was a sweetie. So I let her lay on me while Kat started racing Kyle. Kat would win a race. Kyle would ask to trade cars. She would say no however Kyle took that as a yes and would do it anyway. With children you usually just let them get away with things because they don’t know any better. Kat didn’t like that Kyle thought it was ok to cheat. I told Kat don’t worry about it. Its just a game. And this just left Kat annoyed with Kyle. That made me laugh. They continued racing and Kat would go and get a new car. If she won he would switch their cars. I was up again and this time he put other cars and an alien figure on my track to prevent my car from winning. Clever little booger no? Finally Kyle got bored and we started another movie. He went to get milk and I told Kat to help him. He then turned and went back to his room, Kat asked him what was wrong and he answered with,”You’re gonna bring  it to me.” I just started laughing. 5 years old and already used to women waiting on him. Of course he is a child so he has a good excuse. What excuses do grown men use?  Kat just got more annoyed. But brought him the milk like I asked. She told him not to spill it. He said of course. Kat and I were so ready to go home. I don’t know how women can take care of children. But the women that raise little boys, are heroes in my book. I wish you good luck on raising a little boy Missy. But I have faith in you, because you are gonna make an amazing mother.

Today’s song is Woman by Wolfmother. I love playing this song on guitar hero.[audio:http://numb.honey-vanity.net/wp-content/uploads/2010/06/woman2.mp3]

Since I have been admitted to UofH my family and I went on a campus tour on Saturday. The campus is huge, I just know I am gonna get lost.

I am gonna have to get a bus pass. But I have a feeling I am either gonna be late for class, or I might take the wrong bus and end up on the other side of Houston. I really hope that doesn’t happen. I don’t wanna be lost somewhere. But other than worrying about getting lost and being late for class. I am excited still. Of course I am gonna miss my home. But I have to move on. Growing up is normal and I’m already behind on the growing up part of life. I need to start learning how to take care of myself. Once I get settled in my home away from home, I need to find a job which should be easy since there are soooo many stores on campus. UofH has their own ice cream parlor, nail salon, bowling alley and a Chili’s too. So getting a job on campus might be easy. If not Mija lives near a Barnes & Noble so I can apply for a job there. And I will have my license before I move so I will be able to prove I am 20. YES! I can’t wait for that. I want to start class there, I want to start the next part of my life and attempt to make new friends. Of course I am horrible at making friends. Speaking of friends, my best friend Missy is…PREGNANT! And I couldn’t be happier. She has been my best friend since the 9th grade, my first friend to get married and now my first friend to be pregnant. :3 She is going to be a great mom.  I still can’t believe it. I couldn’t believe it when she was getting married but now she is expecting her first child. And I’m so glad that we are still close. She is really the only friend I still talk to from high school. We didn’t move away right after graduation so maybe that has something to do with it, but I think even if we did we still would have talked. Cause we can go without talking and then meet up and its like we were never apart. She lives 12 hrs away from me yet when she comes to visit she still makes time to come visit me. Plus we have the notebook that we mail each other back and forth. I love writing in that notebook. Because even though we can email and txt each other, its just something I enjoy doing. Plus I love mailing things.

Gosh things are changing. Time just keeps speeding up. Why is it like that now? Anyway, so now I have to sign up for a meeting with a counselor at UofH and then talk about how much my tuition will be, which classes I’ll be taking and at what time. I still have the summer semester at BC to pass math. Stupid math. I HATE YOU! -.- I hope I pass it this time.  Why must it cause me so much heartache? After that I might take a class during the summer two semester it just depends. If not I will end up moving a lot sooner. When we went to visit the campus we stopped by my soon to be home to feed Tomo my sister’s cat. She is spending the weekend with her boyfriend at a lake house. Poor Tomo all alone, I bet he left presents for her to clean up when she gets back home. Its a sign that he missed her. lol And she just happened to leave his litter box in my soon to be room. Thanks Mija. -.- My room better not smell when I get there. Cause I am not sharing a room with Tomo.

I found these bottle charms at Hobby Lobby. I’ve been looking for these since someone put them on Cut out + Keep. I bought the potion shape bottle charms though. They also had the regular jar and test tube bottles there as well. I wasn’t sure what to put in the bottle since it was so tiny. But I decided to write a quote on a slip of paper with a panda on it. Its for motivation. I’m gonna need all the motivation I can get once I start my math class. They come in a pack of two so I gave the second one to Kat and she just wanted a flower in it. I have some tiny purple flowers that I bought to make hair clips. So I just used that. Hey Missy which bottle shape would you prefer. Oh and what would you put in yours? I plan to buy you one the next time I go to Hobby Lobby.

Today’s song is a cover of Dream a little Dream. Sung by the Glee Cast. I love this show. And this song.[audio:http://numb.honey-vanity.net/wp-content/uploads/2010/05/DreamALittleDreamGleeCastVersio.mp3]

5-18-10: I’m not really sure what to blog about. May is almost over and I haven’t updated at all this entire month. I also haven’t vlogged in awhile as well. I’ve just been so lazy. Its raining and I just want to continue laying in bed. I only have two more weeks until I start summer semester. I just have one class, math. -_- It just won’t go away!

Today

Its official. I have been accepted at UH. So I will moving into my sister’s apartment in August maybe even July. The first thing I will take to my sister’s will probably be my art bin. Since I don’t have an art class anymore I can take all  my art supplies to her place. I might not have much time for art if I don’t take an art class but I can always try making time to paint on my own time. Hopefully. I’m not bringing my full size bed with me, (T-T) because it has a huge headboard that will just be extremely annoying to move. Besides clothes and a few things I hold dear such as books and my sewing machine. Thats pretty much everything I’ll be bringing with me. I don’t want to take too many things I don’t need, plus I want my room to still feel like my room. Am I ready to leave the nest? I feel ready, but that doesn’t necessarily mean I am ready.  I can’t live with my parents forever, and I’m already 20 yrs old I feel like I should have left a while back. Oh I’m also gonna be signed up for drivers ed. -.- I’m excited to get my license, yet another thing I should have done a long time ago. A real long time ago. sigh. So I’ll get my license before moving, but driving in Houston will be a challenge. I’m scared. But I just have to get used to it, like Mija did. But she moved out at 17 and started driving at 18. I’ll either take the bus or have Mija drop me off if she can. She says she would let me use her car sometimes when I’m comfortable driving. >.<

Tomorrow dad is having a craw fish boil. I can’t wait I love craw fish. Of course it will take 3 hours to cook. So I plan to wake up right when they are done so I can just eat. No I’m kidding I’m probably get up to film the process. Maybe. It will make an interesting vlog.

Today’s song is by Meaghan Smith called Heartbroken. I love her style.

[audio:http://numb.honey-vanity.net/wp-content/uploads/2010/05/Heartbroken-MeaghanSmith1.mp3]

I feel like I am stuck. Yet time just keeps moving on. It’s going by incredibly too fast for me to even catch up.Why has time changed?

Movie Spoilers

I watched the movie Veronika Decides to Die, (**based on the novel by Paul Coelho)and it made me think of happiness and sorrow and then death. The character Veronika is played by Sarah Michelle Gellar and she is unhappy with her life. So she tries to commit suicide. She wakes up in a mental institution, and is told that she has weakened her heart and that there is no surgery or treatment that can save her. They aren’t able to pinpoint her death exactly, but its likely that it she has only a matter of weeks. She is immediately angered by the fact that she has succeeded in killing herself only she must wait to actually die. She questions the shrinks, asking them why not just kill her now? They will have no part in aiding in her death. She remains stubborn throughout her stay at the institute. Determined to die on her own terms. She fails at bringing her life to an earlier grave. She as no will to live. Yet she has no interest in making the best of the time she has left.

If I was told I would die in a matter of weeks, what would I feel? What would I do? Would I give up? I see myself as a weak person at times. And part of me thinks I would just wallow in self pity imagining all the things I have yet to accomplish or fail at. Imagining instead of actually doing those things. Death is a scary thought to me. I know death is inevitable for us all. But its more dying too soon that I worry about. Dying before I have actually had a chance to live. I’ve already been alive for 20 years. That’s two decades of being on this planet and I have yet to experience life.

“These days most people have replaced almost all their emotions with fear, and everyone has dreams but only a few realize them – makes cowards of the rest of us.”-Coelho

Gellar’s character lost the will to live, as so many of us do. But she finds it. Along with romance. I think when you are in love, you feel like you matter. I mean of course you matter to your friends and family. But the romantic love you’ll share with one other person is completely different. And once she found this feeling, she doesn’t want to let it go. A line from the movie trailer,” It wasn’t until she decided to die, that Veronika found a reason to live.” To actually live life to its fullest. Of course after she finally finds that one thing that made her want to continue living which turned out to be a person, the fact that she only has limited time to spend with her new found happiness makes you sad yet happy she even found it to begin with. (I ruin movie endings so stop reading if you don’t want to know the ending.)

But this movie ends on a happy note. It ends with the doctor writing in his journal explaining that if Veronika never visits another doctor, who would tell her that she is completely healthy. She would continue living her life and cherishing each moment she has. I think everyone should live their life like that though. And not because time is running out. But because its how life should be enjoyed. Not waiting in fear for the inevitable.

** Paul Coelho vlogs and blogs. How freaking amazing is that? I love it when I find an author whose work inspires me. I love books. And I actually liked this film adaption of the novel, but I haven’t read the novel yet so I might think differently once I do read it.

Song for today- Amy Kuney: Simple Things

[audio:http://numb.honey-vanity.net/wp-content/uploads/2010/04/SimpleThings-AmyKuney.mp3]

One last thing the collaboration art blog that I’m starting with my sisters is up. Mija made the layout I absolutely love it. We haven’t updated with anything yet. But I’m so excited to start this project with my sisters. Ok well I think its time I go to sleep.

Goodnight/Morning

TUESDAY!

I got to spend the entire day with Missy. She went with me to the student show, and then we went out to eat with my mom. She is so wonderful. Then Missy, Kat and I went to watch Kick-Ass. Such a good movie, Hit Girl was so freaking awesome. She should have been the main role because she made the movie amazing. Anyway, so hanging out with Missy was wonderful as always.

On Thursday my art class went to an art museum. I wasn’t allowed to take any pictures and I didn’t even take any outside or anything. Man I’m lazy. Oh and Missy met up with my class at the museum with her parents. I was so happy I thought I wasn’t going to see her because I made plans with my sister to pick me up after the museum. She had to go back to work so I went with her and then afterward she took me to Aka. It was sooooooo delicious. We ate California roll and black peppered beef cut sashimi style. And then we ate gyoza but I totally forgot to take a picture of that. And then we ordered a plate of teriyaki beef.  The portions were small but the perfect size. We also ordered a bowl of white rice which was perfect because if its your first time trying raw beef you want to eat it with rice so it can act as a shield when its in your mouth. Does that make sense? But it also compliments the beef. I can’t get over how good it was. I love sushi. After sushi we went back to her apartment and I fell asleep. Then she so kindly woke me up, even though I was extremely tired, to go over Jody’s house to play Left 4 Dead 2. Then they showed me Little Big Planet. So fucking cute. I am totally going to make my own little sack person. I just need to find the right fabric.

Bulletproof by La Roux (I find her oddly attractive)

And the next song is from a Little Big Planet level. My Patch by Jim Noir (Such a cute song) 

[audio:http://numb.honey-vanity.net/wp-content/uploads/2010/04/MyPatch-Onesongfavs.mp3]

 

So I got my R4 for my DS last week. And I am addicted. I haven’t even finished playing a game yet, I think I’m just high on downloading apps for it.

I downloaded the ipod clone for it and it worked fine last week, but now it doesn’t. I must have deleted a file on the R4 that I needed. Not exactly sure what happened, but I will figure it out..eventually. I mean its frustrating when it doesn’t work but as long as the games work I am happy. I just need to organize it. -.- God I am such a nerd, playing with my DS instead of hanging out with friends. Speaking of friends, Missy is home! I get to see her on Monday. I’ve missed her so much and I am in desperate need for some Missy time. Hear that Missy? Tell everyone else to back the fuck off. jk But no seriously. -.-

So the other day Mija brought her boyfriend home to meet our parents. I was only awake for the dinner portion. After eating I went up stairs and fell asleep playing DS. I vaguely remember Mija coming into my room and talking/messing with me. I think I answered back not really sure. I do remember her telling me that dad was playing medal of honor with Jody. God that is funny. This is the first time my sister has brought home a serious boyfriend, so it was different. But we joked and laughed with him so in my opinion things went well. And I think my parents liked him, I mean I like the guy ok. He owns a ps3 now which earns him some definite like points. So yeah I slept the entire day away the other day from 3:30 to 2:30 am. (oh sorry for not saying good bye Mija) Not good. But I’ve been up since then so I’m sure I will go to sleep early tonight. Probably. -.-  Yeah who am I kidding, I’ll be up late as usual. Awww damn I have a math test tomorrow. Sucks. Need to do those 1o point flash cards. I should do them now since I am up. Right. Anyway, I also need to start on my next painting project. I think this is the last one for the semester. Makes me sad. I must paint some form of literature. Meaning a song, poem, book. What to do? I’ve already painted a song so its between the other two. I have no idea what to paint. sigh.

So Mija wants to start a collab art blog with Kat and myself. Basically it will be a place where we post the things we create (nothing about our personal lives.) Mija with her graphics, Kat with things she bakes, me? I make a bunch of different things paintings and stuff I sew. So yeah I’m looking forward to starting this. Oh yeah, Mija showed me Dr. Horrible’s sing along blog. I love Neil Patrick Harris, he is so adorable so is Felicia Day. And after watching that, I watched The Guild. I don’t even play role playing games like WOW and I still find this web series funny.

It was crazy. This was the first time I was up for Black Friday sales. We went to Walmart because of mom’s discount. And because Walmart has better prices.

Day One 11-27-09 : So we bought a mixer, a printer, and mom got us each a DS lite. I really wanted the green one. But hell I was happy. Plus the green one wasn’t on sale like the others because it was a bundle pack. And I can just buy a green case. I think I only have like two more weeks of classes. Then I’m done for the semester. I’m so ready for that.

Day Two-12-6-09:Right now I’m watching SyFy’s Alice. I love watching these types of movies. Plus hello Alice in Wonderland is one of those stories that you can never get tired of. Its been told over and over in many different ways but with similarities. I’m liking Alice so far. Can’t wait to watch it Monday night. Today is Hyun’s birthday! He is 21. So a happy birthday to the little booger.

Day Three-12-7-09: Typed out that first bit the other day. Now it is Monday. Just finished watching Alice. It was so good. I loved it. Hatter and Alice ended up together. Oops sorry gave away the ending didn’t I? My bad.

Spaced out.

Day Four-12-8-09: It is now 5:24 a.m. I kept getting distracted from finishing this entry. -_- First it was Alice then washing clothes followed by showering and then lastly what took me forever to finish…straightening my hair. It has gotten so long that it takes longer to straighten. I want to cut it short. Just above my shoulders short. I’ve had it that short before but that’s when I didn’t have bangs. I think having it short with bangs would look odd on me. Oh and how unfair is the weather right now. It is now just icky and rainy outside. So unfair. Damn I’m not going to be able to publish this entry quite yet. I’m not done. But I have to get some sleep before its light out. >_<; My poor corrupted sleeping pattern.

Remembering John Lennon.  Not many people in my generation like classic rock. So there are a number of people that have no idea who The Fab Four were/still are. I have often heard people referring to The Beatles as, “old people music.” But they will never get old for me or my sisters. Twenty-nine yrs ago today John Lennon was murdered. He was taken away for no reason at all. John was such an amazing musician. And although I didn’t know him personally many generations know him through his music. He will always be remembered.

John Lennon-Imagine

[audio:http://numb.honey-vanity.net/wp-content/uploads/2009/12/JohnLenon-Imagine.mp3]

Day Five- 12-9-09: It is 12:52 am. Holy crap. Look how long it is taking me to write out this blog entry. I kept adding to this post but instead of publishing it I just kept saving it until I finished it. Why do things keep getting in the way? lol Ok well I need to be strong this weekend and study big time for my math, web design and government finals next week. And after Wednesday next week I will be officially done for the semester. I cannot wait for January. I get my new cell phone. Gaaaaaaaaah I’m such a tech brat. Thankfully my NDS has done its job well and has kept me distracted. However, it is also a distraction from the things I need to finish. And that is not good. Like prepping for finals. -_- I hate the week of finals because it sometimes feels like there is never enough time. And I lack sleep. I really need the Christmas break to rejuvenate. (I know a 20 yr old has no right to say that) I finally learned how to make my Vimeo videos into wmv format using Adobe Premiere. Yay! I already uploaded a video this week but I didn’t know what I know now (that sounds confusing) so I must wait until next week to upload another video. But I think I’ll wait until finals are over. Good thinking right?:P

Good night/morning world.

Woo hoo! I have already posted 100 entries on my blog. This will be the 101 entry. I can’t believe I have that many entires. But for some reason it feels like I should have more. -_-

So Thanksgiving is this week. I am so ready for pumpkin pie. :9 Pumpkin pie makes me think of my friend Andrea. She was in my cce class during senior year. And one Wednesday we talked about craving pumpkin pie and popcorn. >_< Odd combination now that I think about it. If I remember correctly it was after any holiday that would require a pumpkin pie present. We were just reminiscing  aww but I miss her. After I deleted my myspace, I lost track with her.

Wow I just got my Future me email today. I think its funny because I remember typing it out and how I felt during that time. It was in April so it wasn’t too long ago. But still I have already changed so much since then.

… continue reading this entry.

So I went to Oni-con this past weekend. And got to see the Jrock band Born, and the solo artist Satsuki. Their performances were the only ones I was awake for. The two other opening acts were really unnecessary.

Which sucks because Tomo from echostream is adorable and an excellent guitarist. He should be in a band with other hot talented Japanese men. Not weird Americans minus the female singer. I think she is Japanese. Anyway, I didn’t like their songs at all. So I sat to the side of the mob of people and slept. Yes slept. How does one sleep during a concert? Well since you asked. For me it was quite easy. … continue reading this entry.

So as I mentioned before. My best friend Missy has tied the knot. She is now officially someone’s wife. The lucky someone is named Derek. I didn’t get a chance to actually get to know him. But from what I’ve seen, he seems like a wonderful guy. Him and Missy fit so well together, and it’s nice to be in their company. They are the sort of couple that can immediately turn tears into laughter. Yup that is possible.

Speaking of couple friends. You know when you sometimes get annoyed by your love sick friends because all they seem to talk about is their significant other? And you feel like because you are single they should respect your tiny melodramatic feelings. That they should keep their romance levels to a minimum. Well for me I don’t really get annoyed. I feel happy when I can witness my friends face light up when they talk about their someone special. I mean if I spend time with them as a couple then of course I’d feel a tinge of enviousness. (is that the right form of envy to use?) But if it were the other way around? I would want my friend to listen to my giddy cloud nine moments as well. I mean isn’t that what friends are for? So you can gab about not only your troubles but your success as well? Most people hate being the third wheel. I mean who wouldn’t? Your friends are too busy being in love to notice you. Of course you also have to think about your friends side of things. She/he has to juggle not only their friends and family but their significant other as well. And that is not always an easy thing to do. Anyway for me, I wouldn’t want my friend to feel like they need to tone down their lovey-dovey ness in order to not shatter my feelings. I mean just because I am single right now doesn’t mean I will be single forever. It only means I am single at the moment. And why put my friends that are happily coupled in a horrible mood. I mean would you actually be able to tell your friend, “Hey stop talking about your boyfriend/girlfriend. I’m sick of hearing about them.” I guess it just depends on the couple. Because there are some couples that really just go over board. And then there are the couples that you wish would show some form of affection just so you know that they are happy.Anyway, my point is that Missy and her husband are the right kind of couple.

They moved into their new apartment this Friday. And I already feel the difference of her not being here. I mean Missy and I weren’t glue to the hip or anything. We each had our own things. But that didn’t mean I didn’t see her as my best friend. I mean she is my therapist, my wife, the cream cheese to my bagel (Maybe it was the other way around) I think you get the picture. She is my best friend. I haven’t really made tons of friends since starting college; I actually feel like I’ve lost more since starting. I mean just because she moved away doesn’t mean we have stopped being friends and I am full aware of that. I mean we have the trusty internet here to keep in contact. Email, msn, skype. (When she gets internet) And of course there is text and calls. But I always saw Missy as my must meet face to face friend. Like msn wasn’t good enough. I’d have to see her in person in order to discuss whatever pathetic problem I needed her to analyze. I truly value her company. Not once did we ever have a fight. And I thats what I love about her the most. That we respected each other and we can always see the other’s point of view. Plus we can voice our opinnion with out the other jumping to conclusions. It was extraordinary. Because most girls get offended pretty easily. But not us. Anyway, I miss her and hope moving went smoothly.

I finally watched (500) Days of Summer. I liked it. It was cute and sad. But most of all cute. I’m not giving away any spoilers for this movie because it already tells you in the trailer that its not a love story. Just a basic boy meets girl story. That doesn’t necessarily mean they will fall in love. Just saying. I love the actors in this movie my favorite scene is when Joseph Gordon-Levitt dances. So cute. It makes you wish you could find a Tom in real life.

Song: You make my dreams- Hall & Oates

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