Inside Kimmy's Mind

I made my KimCateKat video the other day. It took forever to upload it to Youtube. I had to use internet explorer instead of firefox in order to upload it. Well I got paid 42 dollars for working that one Saturday. Mom says its not worth it. But I felt a sense of pride getting paid. I wouldn’t mind working again. Where else am I going to find a job where I am given a ride to and back? I mean I don’t have a license so I can’t just work anywhere. Not that anywhere will even hire me. I need to start saving money. I mean it will take awhile but I mean whats life without hard work?

So I went to the dentist on Monday. Oh joy. I hate all types of doctors. Anyway, so I will be getting braces soon. The thought of actually having normal nice looking teeth makes me happy, but I just wish I could fast forward all the pain. Why couldn’t I have nice teeth? I have horrible teeth. When I was in junior high a classmate once told me, “How can a person with such crooked teeth; have such a pretty smile?” I hate backhanded compliments.  Did you know some people are not born without wisdom teeth? Meaning they won’t have to worry about getting those removed. Lucky people. I have mine. -_- Why must human beings be so fragile? I wish we could withstand anything. But I will have braces for the next two years. Great. You know I don’t mind actually having the braces, its the pain I am worried about. I don’t want to go through the pain of the braces and then I will have to remove my wisdom teeth. I wish I could wait until all of the wisdom teeth were erupted so they wouldn’t have to make an incision into my gums and extract the tooth.They take out some bone from your jaw. How is that a good thing? I hope my wisdom teeth aren’t growing horizontal. Thats when they can cause damage to your other teeth. Pfffft so many problems when it comes to teeth. I googled that, and now I wish I hadn’t because I saw pictures. They are really going to have to put me on the loopy gas. I wish I didn’t have to get them out. Again I wish I had a fast forward pain button. If only.

Must be positive and it will be worth all the pain to go through with it as soon as possible. I could have nice looking teeth in two years time? Nice thought.

In my art class the next assignment is to paint two self portraits. One should be painted from life and the other can be more surreal or abstract.

I lack the skills to paint from life. I suck at drawing from life with a pencil let alone paint. And with that sort of medium you have more control over it and I am still horrible at it. How the hell am I supposed to paint from life? And I’m painting myself. I don’t like looking at myself in a mirror for very long. I’m just not sure how to start this. And I’m still not used to using acrylic paint. I don’t really like acrylic paint to begin with. I am a watercolor person. Anyway, so I need to start thinking of how to paint from life and and be happy with it. And not just keep using gesso over it. Bleh.

Moving on to clothes. I am loving putting different outfits together for class. Yay for finally dressing like a girl! I mix match different tops and bottoms to create totally different outfits. My classes are block schedule. So I am trying not to wear the same thing on the same day in the same class. I need to alternate and so I take a picture of my outfit every day before I go to class so I know what I wore on what day. Brilliant no? lol And also very vain. On top of the outfits is a nice hair style. I love trying different things with my hair. I really want to master the fish tail braid. But its more difficult than I thought it would be. And because of the Wear Pallet Blog that my sister talked about in an earlier blog entry. It made me want to pick out the colors in my outfits.

Then it started making me think of the meanings behind colors. Which again goes back to Mija’s same blog entry where she linked the Colorstrology site. Interesting things if you ask me. Next thing on my list of things to talk about is the book I’m currently reading. Sloppy Firsts by Megan McCafferty. I am loving the character Jessica Darling. Her personality is close to mine minus the fact that she is a track star. lol But the random things she thinks and says remind me of myself. And isn’t that what a good book does? You are supposed to feel a connection with the characters of a book. Otherwise you don’t feel the need to continue reading on. And this book is the first one in a five book series. So thats good that I have books to read lined up. But I never have a problem finding a book to read. But this will fill the void until November and I can get the next book of The Immortal series. And until the next book of the Sookie Stackhouse books is made into paperback.

I have web design homework to finish as well as self portraits to start and a Gov. test to take this weekend online. Pretty busy. I hope next weekend I can start that Catering job a friend offered me. Heres hoping.

So as I mentioned before. My best friend Missy has tied the knot. She is now officially someone’s wife. The lucky someone is named Derek. I didn’t get a chance to actually get to know him. But from what I’ve seen, he seems like a wonderful guy. Him and Missy fit so well together, and it’s nice to be in their company. They are the sort of couple that can immediately turn tears into laughter. Yup that is possible.

Speaking of couple friends. You know when you sometimes get annoyed by your love sick friends because all they seem to talk about is their significant other? And you feel like because you are single they should respect your tiny melodramatic feelings. That they should keep their romance levels to a minimum. Well for me I don’t really get annoyed. I feel happy when I can witness my friends face light up when they talk about their someone special. I mean if I spend time with them as a couple then of course I’d feel a tinge of enviousness. (is that the right form of envy to use?) But if it were the other way around? I would want my friend to listen to my giddy cloud nine moments as well. I mean isn’t that what friends are for? So you can gab about not only your troubles but your success as well? Most people hate being the third wheel. I mean who wouldn’t? Your friends are too busy being in love to notice you. Of course you also have to think about your friends side of things. She/he has to juggle not only their friends and family but their significant other as well. And that is not always an easy thing to do. Anyway for me, I wouldn’t want my friend to feel like they need to tone down their lovey-dovey ness in order to not shatter my feelings. I mean just because I am single right now doesn’t mean I will be single forever. It only means I am single at the moment. And why put my friends that are happily coupled in a horrible mood. I mean would you actually be able to tell your friend, “Hey stop talking about your boyfriend/girlfriend. I’m sick of hearing about them.” I guess it just depends on the couple. Because there are some couples that really just go over board. And then there are the couples that you wish would show some form of affection just so you know that they are happy.Anyway, my point is that Missy and her husband are the right kind of couple.

They moved into their new apartment this Friday. And I already feel the difference of her not being here. I mean Missy and I weren’t glue to the hip or anything. We each had our own things. But that didn’t mean I didn’t see her as my best friend. I mean she is my therapist, my wife, the cream cheese to my bagel (Maybe it was the other way around) I think you get the picture. She is my best friend. I haven’t really made tons of friends since starting college; I actually feel like I’ve lost more since starting. I mean just because she moved away doesn’t mean we have stopped being friends and I am full aware of that. I mean we have the trusty internet here to keep in contact. Email, msn, skype. (When she gets internet) And of course there is text and calls. But I always saw Missy as my must meet face to face friend. Like msn wasn’t good enough. I’d have to see her in person in order to discuss whatever pathetic problem I needed her to analyze. I truly value her company. Not once did we ever have a fight. And I thats what I love about her the most. That we respected each other and we can always see the other’s point of view. Plus we can voice our opinnion with out the other jumping to conclusions. It was extraordinary. Because most girls get offended pretty easily. But not us. Anyway, I miss her and hope moving went smoothly.

I finally watched (500) Days of Summer. I liked it. It was cute and sad. But most of all cute. I’m not giving away any spoilers for this movie because it already tells you in the trailer that its not a love story. Just a basic boy meets girl story. That doesn’t necessarily mean they will fall in love. Just saying. I love the actors in this movie my favorite scene is when Joseph Gordon-Levitt dances. So cute. It makes you wish you could find a Tom in real life.

Song: You make my dreams- Hall & Oates

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I have finally gotten a full length mirror. Now to some that might not be a big whoop. But to me this is a wonderful thing. I have been wanting a full length mirror ever since I started dressing more like a girl. Which started senior year for me. Before that I never really cared about what I wore, I made sure to straighten my and thats about it. I don’t wear any makeup. I have no idea how to apply it nor do I even bother learning how. I mean if you have to keep reapplying it throughout the day why even bother with it? Plus with my face, what you see is what you get. No mask. I mean I’m not implying that people that wear make up are fake or anything. I just mean that there are people that wear too much and once they take it off, its like they are a whole other person. Not to mention its not always good for your skin. But anyway, I finally got a full length mirror to inspect my outfits, without having to stand on my tub edge. Which is what I had to resort to before full length mirror days. … continue reading this entry.

I just finished reading Blue Moon by Alyson Noël. And I am left with the feeling of wanting more.

WARNING! A hint of book spoilers!

The book ended with an annoying cliff hanger. Making me angry that it was over and I just kept thinking it couldn’t end like this. What happened to happy endings? And good triumphing over evil. Throughout the entire book the protagonist was fighting to save her true love and now? She can’t even cry on his shoulder? I am deeply annoyed by Ever. But I can’t help but love this book. Of course this is the second character in a book that I have read within a few months of each other, where the main character did not know who The Beatles were. How in the hell is that possible?

Quick note: Speaking of The Beatles. Have you seen the new trailer for The Beatles Rock Band? If you haven’t then luckily you read my blog and now can. And if you haven’t seen the animated promo for it then its below as well. And it is amazing. I cannot wait for this game. It comes out two days before my birthday and well make an awesome birthday present. lol Which is what I told my mom and dad. My dad’s reply to that is,”My birthday is coming up.” Mine is on the 11th while his is a week later on the 17th. He just ignores my rather unsubtle hint and changes the subject to him. lol

Anyway back to Blue Moon. I am now in an impatient need to get my hands on the next book which is called Shadowland. At the end of Blue Moon they give you a sneak peek of Shadowland like some books do, and I must say it just put me in more of an unsatisfied mood. But there is some good news. I thought I would have to wait until February to get the next book. But I don’t. Just until November 24th. Of course it is coming out in hardback first. I hate when they do that. I am one of those people that when they read a series, that all the books within that series have to match. I can’t help it. I am just programed this way. It is a habit…a fault? That I cannot quit/correct. But in this case its a matter of paper/hard back books. The first two books are in paper back. The third coming out in November will be in hardback. Seeing how impatient I am, I might have to just buy the hard back to fill the void until the book is available in hard back. I know I make things so difficult.

I didn’t really explain the two books. But I will elaborate later on possibly. But for now, take my advice and read them. Especially if you are into reincarnation,auras, mind reading and never ending love made to over come time itself.

*COUGH COUGH SNIFF SNIFF!*

Government class is ok.

Math is so so.

Painting looks fun.

Spanish class is…A NIGHTMARE!

Oh and I’m sick. -_-

I am so lost in that class. Apparently I didn’t understand what INT SPANISH I meant. I misread it as Intro to Spanish 1. But it actually means Intermediate Spanish aka Spanish 3! And I am in college? Sigh but in my defense the paper that listed the requirements for my major said nothing about taking a Spanish 1 and Spanish 2. It only said I had to take 2311 and 2312 Spanish courses. Which 2311 is Spanish 3. So wtf? Color me confused. I was so lost. The last time I took a Spanish class was what? Four years ago. I don’t remember the basic crap I should know to pass this class. I felt so sick just being in that class hoping it would end as soon as possible. I mean the teacher was really nice. And there were only 8 other students in the class which is an awesome number. See I have no problem reading Spanish. But I have no knowledge of basic sentence structure. So it would be insane for me to try to stick it out and risk failing the class. I have no idea how all of my exchange student friends were able to accomplish another language so fast. All of the exchange students that I met in High School had to deal with not  only one class in another language but more than one class. I feel so lame. -_- Anyway, so this nightmare lasted for three hours. I would catch a few things but most of the time I remained lost. I wish I was one of those people that could learn another language at the blink of an eye. But no. I mean really both of my parents speak Spanish. I have family that speak nothing but Spanish and I still never learned? This is seriously wrong on so many levels. So the entire three hours I kept thinking,”Shit I need to transfer into Beginning Spanish.” Yeah that is the course I should be in. So as soon as I got home I checked on the course availability list. The nightmare class is only on Tuesdays from 6pm to 9pm. So I needed a class to take its place. They only offered Beginning Spanish on Monday and Wednesdays and I have no open slots on those days. So I checked for another English class to take its place. (Stick to something I’m good at.) I mean eventually I will take Spanish but not this semester. There weren’t any English classes at the right time. So instead I will be taking Web Design (Mija will be proud) at the correct time only on Tuesdays from 6pm to 9pm. It seems perfect. I only hope it is. Another horrible part of this nightmare is that I don’t think I can sell back my 2311 Spanish books. Because I think they are getting a new edition. I hope I will be able to transfer to the web design class and not have any problems. So as soon as my Gov. class is over tomorrow I am heading to a counselor to change my class. Please let it go well. >_<

Painting seems like it is going to be fun. My cousin Ethan is in this class, so I will have someone to talk to. He gave me a ride home today. He always has such a nice vibe about him. I’m not exactly close with my extended family (and he is really my dad’s second cousin) But anyway I didn’t really grow up knowing him. To tell you the truth I met him my junior year. lol Anyway every time I do see him he always has a smile on his face and waves to me. He is so sweet. It makes me happy to know I do have nice people in my family. They aren’t all snobs.

Ok I just finished straightening my hair. I should get some sleep. Again please let things go great tomorrow. >_<

I sometimes pick out particular memories and tamper with them. As if they could be changed. I mold them into what I want them to be. Even though I know the past cannot be changed. But still I find this game interesting. Playing it over and over again. Changing things I did say to things I wish I could have said. If only I could learn from the past and think before actually saying things I might regret.

Have you ever loved someone so much that you were willing to do anything? I mean anything?

Movie spoilers!

You were warned.

I just watched the French movie Jeux d’enfants aka Love Me if You Dare. I found this movie rather interesting. I love out of reality/day dreaming/foreign/romantic movies. Of course I do think the lovers should have grown up and stopped being so stubborn. I mean their dares kept getting more dangerous as they got older. The ending has them die for their love. They were buried alive in cement. But I’d rather see it as they grew old together and lived out their eternal love. Its one of those movies where its sort of confusing and it leaves you to pick your own ending in a way. So I pick that they lived happily ever after. Fin.

But does love like that exist? Where you would do anything the person who holds your affection tells you to do? I mean anything? Whether is humiliating, illegal, life threatening for you or others? I mean these people saw life as a game. As children it was fine yet they should have stopped it when they reached adulthood. I mean why use love to for selfish reasons? I mean why not entertain themselves by being together? But still I recommend this movie for others. It leaves you thinking. Which is why I am here blogging now. Of course I’m sorry I give away endings to movies so this entry might leave you not wanting to watch this movie. If so? I still think you should give it a try. I cried a little during this movie and then I laughed. Because it does have its humorous parts as well. So watch it…if you dare? HAHAHAHHA That was cheesy, but I couldn’t resist. hehe

Of course this movie sort of leaves me wanting to play a game. But the sort of game like in the French movie Amélie. Like leave a note for a stranger to find like in a book, or in the computer lab at school? But I doubt I could pull it off. And the chances of finding someone that was game or not? Pretty slim. Where are all the creative fun people?

Yes! I have just cleaned my room. It disparately needed it. And I have to say the atmosphere in my room feels a lot better. Of course my room is still cluttered but my cabinets are clean. So awesome points are awarded to me. >_<;

Ok I know what you are thinking,”That’s her definition of clean?’ Like I said still really cluttered. But I cleaned the dark abyss aka the cabinet bench under my windows. It contains items from my younger days. And of course trash. I mean

Why did I keep half the junk I found in there? I found old junior high folders containing notes and assignments and of course memories of my past. But I threw most of that away. I mean the things I sought fit to throw away now. I guess at the time I just put them in there to get them out of my way. But I could use that space forthe crap that I don’t want to throw away. Ok the stuff isn’t crap but there was a lot of stuff that was crap. things. I’m glad I got rid of those things.
True Blood series is freaking amazing. I used to think Bill was the hot vampire. Not anymore. He isn’t the only hot one. Eric Northman played by Alexander Skarsgård is incredibly hot. After this past Sunday’s episode I definitely do not want this season to end. I hate when shows I fall in love with go away. I am impatient enough as it is waiting for the week to go by for the episode. Now I will have to wait months for the next season. There are only three episodes left in the season. No fair.

Isn’t he hot? This is a Calendar for Fangtasia. (The bar his character owns in the series)Sigh. I could never get tired of looking at that. >_< lol I can’t wait for next Sunday’s episode. Of course I feel like it will take forever to get to it. Because Friday I have to get my eyes checked. And I hate going. I don’t have to have that stuff puffed into my eyes. But I do have to do eye drops. And I hate things coming at my eyes and getting too close. That’s why I can never own contacts. Because it would be a bitch putting them on and taking them off. I mean I’m sure contacts are something one gets used to. But I wouldn’t be able to stand putting those things in my eyes. I’m such a cry baby drama queen. I just hate getting my eyes checked. So Friday is going to get here fast, its just the whole waiting in the waiting room and getting that crap over with that takes forever. The positive thing is I get new glasses. Because Kat and I need them. Kat more so than me because I take care of my glasses. I hope it goes by fast. Of course I put up a fight which makes it go by incredibly slow. -_- I wish I wasn’t such a cry baby.

May the force be my ally on Friday. Oh and my birthday is coming up!!! Yay. That also means Missy’s wedding!!!

Women are high strung emotional creatures that talk too much and expect too much from their significant others. Correct? Men are fucking bastards that cannot for the love of chocolate (or insert something you love here) know what the hell they want, except for the fact that one woman just isn’t enough. Right?

WRONG!!!!!

I’m tired of hearing these sometimes true misconceptions. And I am aware that being female that makes me biased. But what the hell. I mean if you honestly think about all the things men say about women and vice versa. Its all bullshit. I mean all the stories we are told, are from other people. I mean yeah some people have the luxury to experience the same situations. But I mean really why blame the assholes that cheat on us or the pathetic losers that just date us so they are no longer lonely? You dated them. During a break up, you are either the dumpee, or the person that is doing the most damage. And of course you go through your blue period where you are completely heart broken and feel like your whole world is gone. And that you will never be able to love another human being for as long as you live. LIES. You do love again. And sometimes the same thing happens to you more than once. … continue reading this entry.