Inside Kimmy's Mind

I feel like I am stuck. Yet time just keeps moving on. It’s going by incredibly too fast for me to even catch up.Why has time changed?

Movie Spoilers

I watched the movie Veronika Decides to Die, (**based on the novel by Paul Coelho)and it made me think of happiness and sorrow and then death. The character Veronika is played by Sarah Michelle Gellar and she is unhappy with her life. So she tries to commit suicide. She wakes up in a mental institution, and is told that she has weakened her heart and that there is no surgery or treatment that can save her. They aren’t able to pinpoint her death exactly, but its likely that it she has only a matter of weeks. She is immediately angered by the fact that she has succeeded in killing herself only she must wait to actually die. She questions the shrinks, asking them why not just kill her now? They will have no part in aiding in her death. She remains stubborn throughout her stay at the institute. Determined to die on her own terms. She fails at bringing her life to an earlier grave. She as no will to live. Yet she has no interest in making the best of the time she has left.

If I was told I would die in a matter of weeks, what would I feel? What would I do? Would I give up? I see myself as a weak person at times. And part of me thinks I would just wallow in self pity imagining all the things I have yet to accomplish or fail at. Imagining instead of actually doing those things. Death is a scary thought to me. I know death is inevitable for us all. But its more dying too soon that I worry about. Dying before I have actually had a chance to live. I’ve already been alive for 20 years. That’s two decades of being on this planet and I have yet to experience life.

“These days most people have replaced almost all their emotions with fear, and everyone has dreams but only a few realize them – makes cowards of the rest of us.”-Coelho

Gellar’s character lost the will to live, as so many of us do. But she finds it. Along with romance. I think when you are in love, you feel like you matter. I mean of course you matter to your friends and family. But the romantic love you’ll share with one other person is completely different. And once she found this feeling, she doesn’t want to let it go. A line from the movie trailer,” It wasn’t until she decided to die, that Veronika found a reason to live.” To actually live life to its fullest. Of course after she finally finds that one thing that made her want to continue living which turned out to be a person, the fact that she only has limited time to spend with her new found happiness makes you sad yet happy she even found it to begin with. (I ruin movie endings so stop reading if you don’t want to know the ending.)

But this movie ends on a happy note. It ends with the doctor writing in his journal explaining that if Veronika never visits another doctor, who would tell her that she is completely healthy. She would continue living her life and cherishing each moment she has. I think everyone should live their life like that though. And not because time is running out. But because its how life should be enjoyed. Not waiting in fear for the inevitable.

** Paul Coelho vlogs and blogs. How freaking amazing is that? I love it when I find an author whose work inspires me. I love books. And I actually liked this film adaption of the novel, but I haven’t read the novel yet so I might think differently once I do read it.

Song for today- Amy Kuney: Simple Things

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One last thing the collaboration art blog that I’m starting with my sisters is up. Mija made the layout I absolutely love it. We haven’t updated with anything yet. But I’m so excited to start this project with my sisters. Ok well I think its time I go to sleep.

Goodnight/Morning

TUESDAY!

I got to spend the entire day with Missy. She went with me to the student show, and then we went out to eat with my mom. She is so wonderful. Then Missy, Kat and I went to watch Kick-Ass. Such a good movie, Hit Girl was so freaking awesome. She should have been the main role because she made the movie amazing. Anyway, so hanging out with Missy was wonderful as always.

On Thursday my art class went to an art museum. I wasn’t allowed to take any pictures and I didn’t even take any outside or anything. Man I’m lazy. Oh and Missy met up with my class at the museum with her parents. I was so happy I thought I wasn’t going to see her because I made plans with my sister to pick me up after the museum. She had to go back to work so I went with her and then afterward she took me to Aka. It was sooooooo delicious. We ate California roll and black peppered beef cut sashimi style. And then we ate gyoza but I totally forgot to take a picture of that. And then we ordered a plate of teriyaki beef.  The portions were small but the perfect size. We also ordered a bowl of white rice which was perfect because if its your first time trying raw beef you want to eat it with rice so it can act as a shield when its in your mouth. Does that make sense? But it also compliments the beef. I can’t get over how good it was. I love sushi. After sushi we went back to her apartment and I fell asleep. Then she so kindly woke me up, even though I was extremely tired, to go over Jody’s house to play Left 4 Dead 2. Then they showed me Little Big Planet. So fucking cute. I am totally going to make my own little sack person. I just need to find the right fabric.

Bulletproof by La Roux (I find her oddly attractive)

And the next song is from a Little Big Planet level. My Patch by Jim Noir (Such a cute song) 

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SUCCESS! I finally got the ipod clone to work again on my R4. Man I am such a loser.

Random thought

I am sitting on my bed staring at the pile of clean laundry I have yet to put away. I usually put it away right after its washed. I mean its only been a day but still…why haven’t I put them away. My room is incredibly cluttered. I hide my clutter in cabinets and drawers. And don’t even get me started on the monster under my bed. (Fred) And I just put it out of my mind. I should really do some spring cleaning.

(stopped typing to put away laundry. >.< )

So I got my R4 for my DS last week. And I am addicted. I haven’t even finished playing a game yet, I think I’m just high on downloading apps for it.

I downloaded the ipod clone for it and it worked fine last week, but now it doesn’t. I must have deleted a file on the R4 that I needed. Not exactly sure what happened, but I will figure it out..eventually. I mean its frustrating when it doesn’t work but as long as the games work I am happy. I just need to organize it. -.- God I am such a nerd, playing with my DS instead of hanging out with friends. Speaking of friends, Missy is home! I get to see her on Monday. I’ve missed her so much and I am in desperate need for some Missy time. Hear that Missy? Tell everyone else to back the fuck off. jk But no seriously. -.-

So the other day Mija brought her boyfriend home to meet our parents. I was only awake for the dinner portion. After eating I went up stairs and fell asleep playing DS. I vaguely remember Mija coming into my room and talking/messing with me. I think I answered back not really sure. I do remember her telling me that dad was playing medal of honor with Jody. God that is funny. This is the first time my sister has brought home a serious boyfriend, so it was different. But we joked and laughed with him so in my opinion things went well. And I think my parents liked him, I mean I like the guy ok. He owns a ps3 now which earns him some definite like points. So yeah I slept the entire day away the other day from 3:30 to 2:30 am. (oh sorry for not saying good bye Mija) Not good. But I’ve been up since then so I’m sure I will go to sleep early tonight. Probably. -.-  Yeah who am I kidding, I’ll be up late as usual. Awww damn I have a math test tomorrow. Sucks. Need to do those 1o point flash cards. I should do them now since I am up. Right. Anyway, I also need to start on my next painting project. I think this is the last one for the semester. Makes me sad. I must paint some form of literature. Meaning a song, poem, book. What to do? I’ve already painted a song so its between the other two. I have no idea what to paint. sigh.

So Mija wants to start a collab art blog with Kat and myself. Basically it will be a place where we post the things we create (nothing about our personal lives.) Mija with her graphics, Kat with things she bakes, me? I make a bunch of different things paintings and stuff I sew. So yeah I’m looking forward to starting this. Oh yeah, Mija showed me Dr. Horrible’s sing along blog. I love Neil Patrick Harris, he is so adorable so is Felicia Day. And after watching that, I watched The Guild. I don’t even play role playing games like WOW and I still find this web series funny.

In art, our assignment is to recreate a Greek myth in our own way. I immediately thought about Persephone.

Part one: Art and Myths

Ever since I read about it in the 9th grade I’ve never forgotten it. Persephone, daughter of Demeter(Goddess of Harvest), was abducted by Hades because of her beauty.He dragged her to hell to be his queen which angered and devastated Demeter. The earth became dead, and so Zeus demanded Hades to return Persephone to her mother, but it was already too late Hades had given her a number of pomegranate seeds. This traps Persephone in the underworld. During the fall and winter Persephone remains with Hades as the Queen of The Underworld. During spring and summer she returns to her mother. This was said to be the reasons of the seasons. I don’t know why why I liked this myth it was just the first one to pop into my mind when we were given this assignment. But after watching the new episode of Bones I’ve found a new myth that I might like to work on. Its Plato’s theory on soul mates. According to him, humans were actually beings with four legs, four arms and a head with two faces. “Zeus felt threatened by their power and split them in two, condemning them to spend their lives searching for the other half to complete them.”After this project our next one is to paint our favorite book. This one will be a tough one for me, since I love so many different books.Today’s song is a cover by The Bird and The Bee-Into Something Good

I’ll try to update more during this month. I haven’t been updating as much as I usually do and its time to put a stop to that. I hope my sister Mija is having a wonderful time in New Orleans. Be safe.