Ruined Endings
I feel like I am stuck. Yet time just keeps moving on. It’s going by incredibly too fast for me to even catch up.Why has time changed?
Movie Spoilers
I watched the movie Veronika Decides to Die, (**based on the novel by Paul Coelho)and it made me think of happiness and sorrow and then death. The character Veronika is played by Sarah Michelle Gellar and she is unhappy with her life. So she tries to commit suicide. She wakes up in a mental institution, and is told that she has weakened her heart and that there is no surgery or treatment that can save her. They aren’t able to pinpoint her death exactly, but its likely that it she has only a matter of weeks. She is immediately angered by the fact that she has succeeded in killing herself only she must wait to actually die. She questions the shrinks, asking them why not just kill her now? They will have no part in aiding in her death. She remains stubborn throughout her stay at the institute. Determined to die on her own terms. She fails at bringing her life to an earlier grave. She as no will to live. Yet she has no interest in making the best of the time she has left.
If I was told I would die in a matter of weeks, what would I feel? What would I do? Would I give up? I see myself as a weak person at times. And part of me thinks I would just wallow in self pity imagining all the things I have yet to accomplish or fail at. Imagining instead of actually doing those things. Death is a scary thought to me. I know death is inevitable for us all. But its more dying too soon that I worry about. Dying before I have actually had a chance to live. I’ve already been alive for 20 years. That’s two decades of being on this planet and I have yet to experience life.
“These days most people have replaced almost all their emotions with fear, and everyone has dreams but only a few realize them – makes cowards of the rest of us.”-Coelho
Gellar’s character lost the will to live, as so many of us do. But she finds it. Along with romance. I think when you are in love, you feel like you matter. I mean of course you matter to your friends and family. But the romantic love you’ll share with one other person is completely different. And once she found this feeling, she doesn’t want to let it go. A line from the movie trailer,” It wasn’t until she decided to die, that Veronika found a reason to live.” To actually live life to its fullest. Of course after she finally finds that one thing that made her want to continue living which turned out to be a person, the fact that she only has limited time to spend with her new found happiness makes you sad yet happy she even found it to begin with. (I ruin movie endings so stop reading if you don’t want to know the ending.)
But this movie ends on a happy note. It ends with the doctor writing in his journal explaining that if Veronika never visits another doctor, who would tell her that she is completely healthy. She would continue living her life and cherishing each moment she has. I think everyone should live their life like that though. And not because time is running out. But because its how life should be enjoyed. Not waiting in fear for the inevitable.
** Paul Coelho vlogs and blogs. How freaking amazing is that? I love it when I find an author whose work inspires me. I love books. And I actually liked this film adaption of the novel, but I haven’t read the novel yet so I might think differently once I do read it.
Song for today- Amy Kuney: Simple Things
[audio:http://numb.honey-vanity.net/wp-content/uploads/2010/04/SimpleThings-AmyKuney.mp3]
One last thing the collaboration art blog that I’m starting with my sisters is up. Mija made the layout I absolutely love it. We haven’t updated with anything yet. But I’m so excited to start this project with my sisters. Ok well I think its time I go to sleep.
Goodnight/Morning
