Inside Kimmy's Mind

In my art class the next assignment is to paint two self portraits. One should be painted from life and the other can be more surreal or abstract.

I lack the skills to paint from life. I suck at drawing from life with a pencil let alone paint. And with that sort of medium you have more control over it and I am still horrible at it. How the hell am I supposed to paint from life? And I’m painting myself. I don’t like looking at myself in a mirror for very long. I’m just not sure how to start this. And I’m still not used to using acrylic paint. I don’t really like acrylic paint to begin with. I am a watercolor person. Anyway, so I need to start thinking of how to paint from life and and be happy with it. And not just keep using gesso over it. Bleh.

Moving on to clothes. I am loving putting different outfits together for class. Yay for finally dressing like a girl! I mix match different tops and bottoms to create totally different outfits. My classes are block schedule. So I am trying not to wear the same thing on the same day in the same class. I need to alternate and so I take a picture of my outfit every day before I go to class so I know what I wore on what day. Brilliant no? lol And also very vain. On top of the outfits is a nice hair style. I love trying different things with my hair. I really want to master the fish tail braid. But its more difficult than I thought it would be. And because of the Wear Pallet Blog that my sister talked about in an earlier blog entry. It made me want to pick out the colors in my outfits.

Then it started making me think of the meanings behind colors. Which again goes back to Mija’s same blog entry where she linked the Colorstrology site. Interesting things if you ask me. Next thing on my list of things to talk about is the book I’m currently reading. Sloppy Firsts by Megan McCafferty. I am loving the character Jessica Darling. Her personality is close to mine minus the fact that she is a track star. lol But the random things she thinks and says remind me of myself. And isn’t that what a good book does? You are supposed to feel a connection with the characters of a book. Otherwise you don’t feel the need to continue reading on. And this book is the first one in a five book series. So thats good that I have books to read lined up. But I never have a problem finding a book to read. But this will fill the void until November and I can get the next book of The Immortal series. And until the next book of the Sookie Stackhouse books is made into paperback.

I have web design homework to finish as well as self portraits to start and a Gov. test to take this weekend online. Pretty busy. I hope next weekend I can start that Catering job a friend offered me. Heres hoping.

So as I mentioned before. My best friend Missy has tied the knot. She is now officially someone’s wife. The lucky someone is named Derek. I didn’t get a chance to actually get to know him. But from what I’ve seen, he seems like a wonderful guy. Him and Missy fit so well together, and it’s nice to be in their company. They are the sort of couple that can immediately turn tears into laughter. Yup that is possible.

Speaking of couple friends. You know when you sometimes get annoyed by your love sick friends because all they seem to talk about is their significant other? And you feel like because you are single they should respect your tiny melodramatic feelings. That they should keep their romance levels to a minimum. Well for me I don’t really get annoyed. I feel happy when I can witness my friends face light up when they talk about their someone special. I mean if I spend time with them as a couple then of course I’d feel a tinge of enviousness. (is that the right form of envy to use?) But if it were the other way around? I would want my friend to listen to my giddy cloud nine moments as well. I mean isn’t that what friends are for? So you can gab about not only your troubles but your success as well? Most people hate being the third wheel. I mean who wouldn’t? Your friends are too busy being in love to notice you. Of course you also have to think about your friends side of things. She/he has to juggle not only their friends and family but their significant other as well. And that is not always an easy thing to do. Anyway for me, I wouldn’t want my friend to feel like they need to tone down their lovey-dovey ness in order to not shatter my feelings. I mean just because I am single right now doesn’t mean I will be single forever. It only means I am single at the moment. And why put my friends that are happily coupled in a horrible mood. I mean would you actually be able to tell your friend, “Hey stop talking about your boyfriend/girlfriend. I’m sick of hearing about them.” I guess it just depends on the couple. Because there are some couples that really just go over board. And then there are the couples that you wish would show some form of affection just so you know that they are happy.Anyway, my point is that Missy and her husband are the right kind of couple.

They moved into their new apartment this Friday. And I already feel the difference of her not being here. I mean Missy and I weren’t glue to the hip or anything. We each had our own things. But that didn’t mean I didn’t see her as my best friend. I mean she is my therapist, my wife, the cream cheese to my bagel (Maybe it was the other way around) I think you get the picture. She is my best friend. I haven’t really made tons of friends since starting college; I actually feel like I’ve lost more since starting. I mean just because she moved away doesn’t mean we have stopped being friends and I am full aware of that. I mean we have the trusty internet here to keep in contact. Email, msn, skype. (When she gets internet) And of course there is text and calls. But I always saw Missy as my must meet face to face friend. Like msn wasn’t good enough. I’d have to see her in person in order to discuss whatever pathetic problem I needed her to analyze. I truly value her company. Not once did we ever have a fight. And I thats what I love about her the most. That we respected each other and we can always see the other’s point of view. Plus we can voice our opinnion with out the other jumping to conclusions. It was extraordinary. Because most girls get offended pretty easily. But not us. Anyway, I miss her and hope moving went smoothly.

I finally watched (500) Days of Summer. I liked it. It was cute and sad. But most of all cute. I’m not giving away any spoilers for this movie because it already tells you in the trailer that its not a love story. Just a basic boy meets girl story. That doesn’t necessarily mean they will fall in love. Just saying. I love the actors in this movie my favorite scene is when Joseph Gordon-Levitt dances. So cute. It makes you wish you could find a Tom in real life.

Song: You make my dreams- Hall & Oates

[audio:http://numb.honey-vanity.net/wp-content/uploads/2009/09/YouMakeMyDreamsComeTrue-Movies.mp3]

I have finally gotten a full length mirror. Now to some that might not be a big whoop. But to me this is a wonderful thing. I have been wanting a full length mirror ever since I started dressing more like a girl. Which started senior year for me. Before that I never really cared about what I wore, I made sure to straighten my and thats about it. I don’t wear any makeup. I have no idea how to apply it nor do I even bother learning how. I mean if you have to keep reapplying it throughout the day why even bother with it? Plus with my face, what you see is what you get. No mask. I mean I’m not implying that people that wear make up are fake or anything. I just mean that there are people that wear too much and once they take it off, its like they are a whole other person. Not to mention its not always good for your skin. But anyway, I finally got a full length mirror to inspect my outfits, without having to stand on my tub edge. Which is what I had to resort to before full length mirror days. … continue reading this entry.

I just finished reading Blue Moon by Alyson Noël. And I am left with the feeling of wanting more.

WARNING! A hint of book spoilers!

The book ended with an annoying cliff hanger. Making me angry that it was over and I just kept thinking it couldn’t end like this. What happened to happy endings? And good triumphing over evil. Throughout the entire book the protagonist was fighting to save her true love and now? She can’t even cry on his shoulder? I am deeply annoyed by Ever. But I can’t help but love this book. Of course this is the second character in a book that I have read within a few months of each other, where the main character did not know who The Beatles were. How in the hell is that possible?

Quick note: Speaking of The Beatles. Have you seen the new trailer for The Beatles Rock Band? If you haven’t then luckily you read my blog and now can. And if you haven’t seen the animated promo for it then its below as well. And it is amazing. I cannot wait for this game. It comes out two days before my birthday and well make an awesome birthday present. lol Which is what I told my mom and dad. My dad’s reply to that is,”My birthday is coming up.” Mine is on the 11th while his is a week later on the 17th. He just ignores my rather unsubtle hint and changes the subject to him. lol

Anyway back to Blue Moon. I am now in an impatient need to get my hands on the next book which is called Shadowland. At the end of Blue Moon they give you a sneak peek of Shadowland like some books do, and I must say it just put me in more of an unsatisfied mood. But there is some good news. I thought I would have to wait until February to get the next book. But I don’t. Just until November 24th. Of course it is coming out in hardback first. I hate when they do that. I am one of those people that when they read a series, that all the books within that series have to match. I can’t help it. I am just programed this way. It is a habit…a fault? That I cannot quit/correct. But in this case its a matter of paper/hard back books. The first two books are in paper back. The third coming out in November will be in hardback. Seeing how impatient I am, I might have to just buy the hard back to fill the void until the book is available in hard back. I know I make things so difficult.

I didn’t really explain the two books. But I will elaborate later on possibly. But for now, take my advice and read them. Especially if you are into reincarnation,auras, mind reading and never ending love made to over come time itself.

Have you ever loved someone so much that you were willing to do anything? I mean anything?

Movie spoilers!

You were warned.

I just watched the French movie Jeux d’enfants aka Love Me if You Dare. I found this movie rather interesting. I love out of reality/day dreaming/foreign/romantic movies. Of course I do think the lovers should have grown up and stopped being so stubborn. I mean their dares kept getting more dangerous as they got older. The ending has them die for their love. They were buried alive in cement. But I’d rather see it as they grew old together and lived out their eternal love. Its one of those movies where its sort of confusing and it leaves you to pick your own ending in a way. So I pick that they lived happily ever after. Fin.

But does love like that exist? Where you would do anything the person who holds your affection tells you to do? I mean anything? Whether is humiliating, illegal, life threatening for you or others? I mean these people saw life as a game. As children it was fine yet they should have stopped it when they reached adulthood. I mean why use love to for selfish reasons? I mean why not entertain themselves by being together? But still I recommend this movie for others. It leaves you thinking. Which is why I am here blogging now. Of course I’m sorry I give away endings to movies so this entry might leave you not wanting to watch this movie. If so? I still think you should give it a try. I cried a little during this movie and then I laughed. Because it does have its humorous parts as well. So watch it…if you dare? HAHAHAHHA That was cheesy, but I couldn’t resist. hehe

Of course this movie sort of leaves me wanting to play a game. But the sort of game like in the French movie Amélie. Like leave a note for a stranger to find like in a book, or in the computer lab at school? But I doubt I could pull it off. And the chances of finding someone that was game or not? Pretty slim. Where are all the creative fun people?

Women are high strung emotional creatures that talk too much and expect too much from their significant others. Correct? Men are fucking bastards that cannot for the love of chocolate (or insert something you love here) know what the hell they want, except for the fact that one woman just isn’t enough. Right?

WRONG!!!!!

I’m tired of hearing these sometimes true misconceptions. And I am aware that being female that makes me biased. But what the hell. I mean if you honestly think about all the things men say about women and vice versa. Its all bullshit. I mean all the stories we are told, are from other people. I mean yeah some people have the luxury to experience the same situations. But I mean really why blame the assholes that cheat on us or the pathetic losers that just date us so they are no longer lonely? You dated them. During a break up, you are either the dumpee, or the person that is doing the most damage. And of course you go through your blue period where you are completely heart broken and feel like your whole world is gone. And that you will never be able to love another human being for as long as you live. LIES. You do love again. And sometimes the same thing happens to you more than once. … continue reading this entry.

Woah. I hate being confused. So in order to not be confused I ask tons of annoying questions over and over until I am no longer confused. Which sometimes takes a while in order for that to happen. What can I say? I like to make sure I heard everything correct so there are no misunderstandings.

I am really dense. If you don’t say exactly what you mean then I probably won’t understand. Which makes me confused and irritated. I like understanding things from other peoples point of views. But if you don’t spell it out for me then I will forever be in the dark and misunderstand you. I might even create my own version of what you’re trying to say. Which is most likely far from the actual truth. Is that what you want? I think not.

But anyway, I have a cousin that is starting a new relationship. My cousin and I are completely different. And we each do things differently. So we don’t always agree with each others advice. Anyway the guy she is now seeing is completely different from the guys she normally dates. And she is being extremely impatient. He is what you call a gentleman. You know the kind? They respect their date by not immediately attacking her when the lights go out in the movie theater. Especially on a first date. She is my cousin, so I don’t mean to judge her. But her logic is WRONG! And she needs to keep her urges in her pants. Which is exactly what I told her. I mean I don’t have tons of experience so its not like I should be giving relationship advice. But this is what I see as common sense. Why rush things? The whole beginning of a relationship is one of the best parts in my opinion. The timid dates and the flirting, along with the sweet compliments that seem to never end. I mean its beautiful…O.o…What is this? Some type of Hallmark card? That was so cheesy. But I think you see my point. If not? Then…go watch an 80’s teen movie. They are nothing but cheesy. And I love them.

The bit of song I have included in this entry is by Mika and its called You Made Me. I love Mika.[audio:http://numb.honey-vanity.net/wp-content/uploads/2009/08/YouMadeMe-Mika.mp3]

Liking someone. Is it just something that happens without us realizing it? Is there a particular reason that makes you find a person irresistible? I mean does it start off as so insignificant that it slowly turns into something important to you? All of these rhetorical questions just bury themselves in my thoughts as they overlap and I over analyze something that was just hypothetical to begin with. This is one of my problems. I over think every little word that is said and I forget if the actual words that I am trying to see were even said to begin with. Does this make sense? If not? My bad. Sigh.

Ok Japan has a ton of cute things that I wish we had here. One of the things I wish we had here is Purikura photo booths. Now we have photo booths here. But lets face it.They suck. And lately I haven’t seen any photo booths around to tell you the truth. There is no longer an arcade in my towns mall. And the photo booths they used to have are now gone. I think. Tomorrow…I mean later today I am on a quest to find a sticker photo booth. I’m sure I won’t be able to find one in my town because there isn’t any. But it could be that I haven’t actually had a need for one. But anyway going back to Purikura and its awesomeness. I know I can always find brushes for it on photoshop but I have always wanted to print out stickers and such. I found this site that lets you make purikura and order sticker sets like you get in Japan. Just click on the picture of Kat and me. It will take you to the site. Or click here if you are the type to skim and only click on highlighted things that appear to be links.

The other day I went to a store called Calico Cats Sewing Center. I didn’t get a good look around because they were closing. But I now I know where I can buy nice fabric. Of course its like 8 bucks a yard so thats annoying. But this is a family owned business it looks like. This is a picture from the net. But I intend to take pictures of my own later today. From what little I saw I am already in love with the store. Mom also took us to Hastings where I got the sequel to Evermore. Which is Blue Moon.  I love getting new books. I wish I could get a job at Hastings in the book department. Sigh. I will get a job. I am not giving up!

So I have a quest to fulfill later today. And to find the other fabric store that my sister says exist. I should go to sleep now. Night night.

“Adults are like kids…
Day and night are the same…
Friends are like lovers…
To like is also to love…
Its’s easy to say this,
but it’s never this easy in life. When I’m with you, I’ll know the answer.”- Akira Shouko

My sister and I would baby sit our neighbors cat. It started when my sister was like 12 who is now 24, and then after she left home I started taking care of Spicy with Kathy when I was 13 or so. I am now 19 and I have up til now took care of this cat when her owners go out of town. But sadly she has past away.

I know she was old, and I know all things come to an end. But I never thought it would happen. I can’t imagine how Laura must feel finding her beloved pet cat dead. Being an owner of two cats myself I know how attached one can get. They may be pets but they are still family. Spicy was the sweetest cat I knew. She would rub against my leg waiting for me to feed her. And then brush her coat when she was finished eating. Sometimes I would fall asleep there and wake up with her sleeping next to me or on me. I’m going to miss Spicy.

I already missed a day this month, and I could just go back and add an entry and just pretend it was written on that day. But I have decided I wouldn’t cheat. So I will try again next month, and during that time I will be better prepared and make sure that I update my blog every day that month. Plus next month is my birthday and I will have already started classes so I should have much more to update with. But I will eventually do the whole month of blogging thing. I should try to make my blog less boring. But I have no clue on how to do that so…yeah.

… continue reading this entry.

I haven’t slept since my last blog. I am trying to make it to 5 or 6 pm until I can go to sleep. Because then I can sleep the whole night and not wake up at like 1 am or something. So I finished another bag. I had to do something to fight the sleep, and it worked seeing as I am still up right now. But as soon as it is the ok sleep zone, I will be out like a light. The sooner the better.>I had a ton written before. But for some odd reason it didn’t save and now it is all gone.Well seeing as I have to have something to update with for today. I decided to keep that for todays update.

So yeah this will remain my shortest entry.