Inside Kimmy's Mind

First discovery-Odd: Two mini vanilla ice cream cups stuck together. This is how I found them. I didn’t feel the sudden urge to take two ice cream cups and then proceed to smash them together and get some form of happiness. No I am happy because I love finding odd things such as this. I mean I’m not saying that my life is now complete, I’m just saying this brought a smile to my face. Follow by a little annoyance. Yes I am hypocritical. After I removed this discovery from the freezer, I made some effort to find out why it is like this. I later discovered that the bottom ice cream cup has no lid…..interesting. How could it not have a lid? I also found that there were others similar to this yet they were merely open a bit, yet they all had their own lids. Yes, I have made more effort than I should be. I then sat down and ate these two ice cream cups. Yes I am weird. Do not judge me.

Second discovery- More like I happened upon it: Now I’m not sure if you have had the chance to see these adorable chip commercials but you must. The one you need to see for sure is this one. I love this song.

Its by Anya Marina I think its entitled “Vertigo”

So Thursday, Mija took Kat and I to a Japaneses restaurant called Blue Fish, if I’m not mistaken. I have eaten sushi and chicken teriyaki before but not like this. It was delicious. I don’t usually like eating food that is uncooked like in sushi. But this avocado crap roll was ok. If you have eaten sushi before and you are not used to it, you know that its texture is…interesting. I’m not quite used to it. But I ate two and it was good. Kat only ate one she did not like it. lol. She made a face after putting it into her mouth and everything. You could tell she wasn’t too happy that she had to swallow it as well. But she did and I am proud that she didn’t spit it into her napkin.  Its strange because Mija hates seafood. She hates a lot of things. And I would never have thought she would be the one introducing us to different foods to broaden our food pallet. lol. But yeah she did. I also ate chicken teriyaki. It was so good. I pretty much love chicken any way you can prepare it. Kat had the pork teriyaki and Mija had beef. I wasn’t too keen on the pork  but the beef was good. It seemed like such a small portion but it filled us up. I hadn’t eaten any lunch only a few muffins so I was extremely hungry. But after chicken and sushi I was satisfied and didn’t anything after that.

I am behind a day in my chapters for Dooms Day Book but I don’t care. I will read as much as I can, and just bullshit it if I have to on Monday. Its really boring to me.  -_-

Part One: I hate that once I find something that is extremely cute in a store. I am bombarded by the fear that it will not be there when I return to that store. Sigh. I mean it takes me a long time to decided to buy something. I never have money. Therefore, when I do have money I like to make sure that I use whatever it is that I buy. Or if its a book I will read it. The other day I went to the Galleria with my sisters and we went into the Sanrio store aka Hello Kitty store. Now I wasn’t planning on buying anything from this store, because they are ridiculously over priced. -_- Kat had already decided on purchasing a bento draw string bag and a bento spoon and chopstick set. Freakin cute man. Now I didn’t see anything that I desperately wanted so after Kat bought her items we continued on to the next store. Gadzooks. Now I’m not normally a clothing shopper. I attempted to try on clothes with the idea that I would buy it if I liked it. I just didn’t want anything from that store either. So I was planning on returning to the Sanrio store and purchasing a bento box and fork and spoon set with a bento drawstring bag. (different from Kats of course) Sigh Why am I such an indecisive person? Anyway, I believe I made the comment that went like this, “What do I need a bento for? I don’t have a lunch time.” My sister than replied to me saying, “During the summer you don’t plan on working? You might not have enough time to walk home for lunch.”

DING DING DING DING! – This is true. I plan on having a job. And I might have to pack a lunch.

So at this point I kept pacing back and forth, walking up and down stairs not being able to make up mind. We were heading in the direction to the Disney store (our second favorite store) thinking we might find something there and if not I would return to buy the bento/accessories that went with it. Tsk. I know what a waste of time. Of course the Disney store was moved to another side of the mall and we weren’t exactly sure where. So we headed in the direction we assumed was the right one. During this time I kept going over whether or not I should buy the bento box or not. (Yes I over analyze everything) My sisters said we could always go back because I feared the only bento box of the character that I wanted would not be there upon returning. So I decided on the Sanrio store and I purchased the first things I thought of buying. tsk I know I am crazy. Forgive me. Its a curse. But I finally made up my mind don’t I get points for that? Now I know you might find this sort of thing very childish but I could not help it. It was so fucking cute. I am defenseless with stuff like this. So yeah.

Part Two: I have to finish the Dooms Day Book by Monday. It has 36 chapters. So if I read six chapters a day I will have it finish. I started Tuesday I am on chapter 13 as of now. Now you would think six chapters a day that’s no problem. But let me tell you, it is if you are not interested in the book at all. Now I have tried getting into it, but I just can’t. It just hasn’t hooked me like the books I’d rather be reading at the moment. While I was reading my chapters I had someone who kept distracting me. I cannot ignore the cuteness that is my sister’s cat Tomo. I swear.The story seems like it would be a good one, but for some odd reason I just dislike the way Connie Willis writes. No offense to Connie Willis. I just hope I can finish it in time. I am only on chapter 13 and I’m not sure I can continue. Is spark notes an option? >_<

Part One: After throwing a lot of stuff from my closet away I found my old CD/tape player. I got it for Christmas years ago, but I remember how excited I was when I did. Every time I bought a CD I would hurry to play it. After I got my ipod mini and a dock for it, I sadly put this in my closet and never thought of it again. Until now. It was sort of breaking before I got the dock but it was faithful in its youth. I didn’t have the heart to throw it away then an I still don’t have the heart to throw it away now. Its funny how things are important. And I mean if you look at the price of cd players now compared to how much they used to be. Its weird. Is that going to happen to mp3 players? I mean Apple keeps bringing out new and better ones but will their price go down that low when their time is up? Thats something to think about.

Part Two: Kat and I are currently spending spring break at my sister’s apartment. And she took us to Borders! I know its dangerous to take me to a book store especially when I still haven’t cracked Dooms Day. -_- I hope I won’t be doomed on Monday. Anyway I didn’t want to buy a book book so instead I bought Neil Gaiman’s graphic novel The Last Temptation. Have I mention that I love him? Anyway, Mija is the one who took it off the shelf when I immediately recognized it. However, I didn’t realize that Alice Cooper contributed to the story. Its based on his record release, The Last Temptation. I should have known it just screams Cooper. Of course I’m not really savvy on his music. The art work is exquisite its done by Michael Zulli if I’m not mistaken. And it is amazing. The showman’s appearance is based on the best showman, Alice Cooper himself. It resembles him from head to toe. I also finally bought the movie Mirror Mask, story also by Neil Gaiman. I really do love him. Well besides buying books and dvds and hearing that someone tried and failed at stealing a magazine I also hurt a complete strangers feelings. But on my behalf I didn’t mean to and I completely understand his current state. And I didn’t mean what I said to sound the way it came out. I am not going to repeat it here because I am trying to make myself feel better. I know I am a horrible person. Now typing is getting hard because my sister’s cat Tomo is in my lap being extremely adorable and I can no longer ignore him. lol

I cannot wait for Spring Break!!!!

Part 1:

Its weird when you find something that meant something to you at one point in time and now it is merely a thing that just brings back memories to that specific point. I mean I have a lot of shit in my room. I have had 19 years worth of stuff building up in my room and I can’t always keep track of things that are important to me. I mean I have tons of stuff that remain important to me and you can tell what they are because they are displayed for all to see. (Ok not all. Just everyone that has seen my room) But you know those small little items that are deemed important because of what happened when you got it or because of the person. I mean you don’t actually forget it completely you just had too many new memories that pushed that one in the back of your filing cabinet of memories. I was looking through my closet of no return (Its a black hole with a monster in it. Just like under my bed.) And I found things that I haven’t thought about in a long time. So strange. Aww memory lane sucks. In a way it sort of makes me sad. I mean you know you have regrets and you sometimes say to yourself if only you could just do that part over things would be different. But how do you know they would be any better than they are now? I have regrets. But I’m not sure if things would change for the better if I did certain things differently? Sigh. Weird.

There is this Barbie catalog where you can purchased vintage barbies. I find old toys so interesting.

Part 2:

I am getting annoyed by walking to class. Guys driving by, are assholes. Its annoying when they honk or say something as they drive pass. Plus it scares me. Speaking of hating…don’t you hate it when you are in class/work. And your stomach decides to embarrass you because it hates you. My stomach decided to do that in history the other day. I growled unbelievably loud. And it was never ending. The people next to me kept laughing at me. Hopefully they were laughing because I kept sighing and rubbing my tummy whispering a fuck here and there. It was quite annoying. It never growled this bad before. Stupid demon tummy aura. Now I must continue on studying for math. I have an exam tomorrow I hope I pass it. Please let me pass it. MATH SUCKS!  My stomach is hurting me. Maybe because I don’t sleep enough, that is why my stomach is killing me. I am going to sleep good during the break. I won’t have to worry about things for a week. Well except I do have to read the Doom’s day book. I won’t have that book read in a week. EEK I don’t like it. >_<  Ok back to studying.

I have a problem.

And I guess the first step is admitting it. So here I am… admitting it. >_<

I am an online shopaholic. -_-

Now a normal shopaholic buys anything. I on the other hand buy things I need (want). I mostly buy books. I mean it could be a bigger problem? I could be buying useless things. The only problem with me being a book shopaholic is…that my to read list never gets smaller. It is a never ending list. Which isn’t really a bad thing, except for when I get a new book I immediately want to read it. Meaning I ignore whatever book I am already reading. I am currently reading Five books. Four by choice. The fifth one is for my SciFi class and I don’t like it. Dooms Day Book. I just can’t get into and its due in a couple of weeks. Sigh. How am I suppose to read a 578 page book, if I can’t even get past the front cover? (ok that’s a little over the top) But its sort of true. Besides that book, I need to read the short stories for that class as well. Sigh. I want to read what I want to read, not because I have to for a class. Bleh!

Its an interesting addiction no? Being addicted to buying books? lol I just got a book in the mail and I am already ready to buy another one. But I haven’t. So I do have some self control. Now only if I can keep up this control for awhile. I can’t even eat chocolate! T_T I gave it up for lent unintentionally. How? Well dad caught me off guard . Meaning I was half awake? Half asleep? And he conveniently asked me when he was driving me to class. I just said what came to mind- Chocolate? Sigh. Its my fault. Now I can’t eat anything with chocolate until Easter. Woe is me.

Oh if you have a web cam immediately go (here) and make an account and follow me Kimmyduh. You know you want to. I find sites, similar to this one very entertaining. It sort of reminds me of Twitterin away. But only a bit.Well I better sleep. Or I will sleep away tomorrow yet again. So sad.

“I’ve learned that good-byes will always hurt, pictures will never replace having been there, memories good and bad will bring tears, and words can never replace feelings.”

I had a bunch of stuff written. But my internet was being wonky and wouldn’t work causing me to lose the “Stuff” that was typed here before. So now I am extremely annoyed because I don’t quite remember how I worded things. Tsk. But I know I liked it. Sigh-_- So know that from this point on I am annoyed. Ok on with the annoyed post. … continue reading this entry.

“Creativity is not the finding of a thing, but the making something out of it after it is found.” – James Russell Lowell

Part one: All because of a quote, this is what happens when I stay up all hours of the night thinking and have little sleep. Oh my poor brain.

I have come to the conclusion that I have lost something. Its not a for sure feeling. Just an odd one. The something in question is:

Creativity.

How does one acquire creativity? I mean can it be learned/taught? Or is it something you either have or don’t have? Can it be found or lost? I seem to have lost track of mine. I love to paint, draw, write, make videos and sew. I love to create things. Things that are apart of me in some way or another. Except something is different about me. I mean I realize people change all the time its not earth shattering. I haven’t painted anything in a long time. I miss it. I know I can paint anytime I want to. I write anytime I want to. I can sew and make a video at any time. (Well not any time but you know what I mean) But just today I have realized that when I paint or draw something I need something to look at when I draw it. Meaning it doesn’t come out of my head but out someone else’s. I mean I know that is how you learn somethings by looking at it being done and then proceeding to imitate it. I DEMAND MY CREATIVITY BACK.

Who has taken it? I’m not sure, probably the other not so creative side of me. (What a bitch) How am I supposed to get it back or can I even retrieve it?

Part two: Ok sane again. Well for the most part.

I just watched a movie called Phoebe in Wonderland. It stars Elle Fanning, Dakota Fanning’s younger sister. She is a 9 year old girl with a vivid imagination who also has turrets and obsessive control disorder. Both her parents are writers and her mother has chosen Alice in Wonderland to be the inspiration for her dissertation. Phoebe(Elle) becomes obsessed with that world. I rather liked this movie. It made me want to draw my own version of Alice in Wonderland. I mean I know that the story was written by someone who must have been on a permanent high, but I think thats what made it such an enticing story. I mean come on who hasn’t wanted to escape reality to retreat to a world with no boundaries? Good movie you should watch it if you get the chance. Ok well I better get some sleep. tsk.

“Be what you would seem to be — or, if you’d like it put more simply — Never imagine yourself not to be otherwise than what it might appear to others that what you were or might have been was not otherwise than what you had been would have appeared to them to be otherwise.” -Alice in Wonderland

First off I’d like to say thanks to Mija for my new blog layout! THANK YOU MIJA!!!!

Ok. Well I went to see Coraline( it was absolutely adorable, Neil Gaiman is a mastermind!) with my Valentine, and sisters. Missy thanks for spending Valentine’s Day with me. You know most single people see Valentine’s day as S.A.D. (Single Awareness Day) Now its not like I haven’t been single before, its just I haven’t been single in over a year. Now this time last year I spent my time looking for the perfect card for my significant other. But this year? I went all out. lol Which is funny because I went all out for my friend and not for my boyfriend (when I had one). hehehe I was like hey just because I don’t have a boyfriend that doesn’t mean I can’t celebrate Valentine’s Day. Ok so its a day for lovers to announce once again just how much they care for each other. But I see it as a day for people, single or taken to let anyone they love know just that. My friend Missy had totally surprised me with chocolates and a love bug plushie along with a pink rose. I felt so special. So I made her a love jar (which contained a few reasons why I love her, not all but a few) and chocolate covered strawberries.(which were good) I hope you enjoyed them Missy.

I am tired. I haven’t been sleeping right at all. I know I am the only one who can solve this problem. Tuesday I have a math test and I’m not quite sure which part of my research essay is due this week. Damnit. (My leg hurts >_<) I love the show United States of Tara. It is so cute. You should definitely watch it. Oh and I watched the show Doll House as well. Its made by the same creators as Buffy the Vampire Slayer and Angel. The first episode was pretty good so I’m gonna keep watching it, unless it gets stupid. But so far so good. Cate I can’t get over how adorable your new video was. It was amazing! Speaking of videos, I am so annoyed with Youtube right now. They keep muting my videos. So far in the past couple of months they have pointed out two of my videos that were in violation with the music. Ok and today I had to delete a video that I made over a year ago. How am I supposed to get a famous bands permission to use their songs? I mean come on really? Cyber stalking is annoying and so junior high. I also wanted to talk about this article. It says that a 12 year old boy from London impregnated his 14 year old girlfriend. Are you serious? What 14 year old girl dates a 12 year old boy? I mean really? Ok they haven’t taken a paternity test to prove that the now 13 yr, boy is in fact the father. I mean wow. Does a 12 year old boy even know how to impregnate a girl? I mean isn’t he still going through puberty? I doubt that he is the father. Another article says, that the girl had slept with two other guys so I’m guessing either one of those dumb asses are likely the father of this naive girls newborn baby girl. I think its just weird for a 13 year old boy to have a baby. I mean when a 15 yr old girl has a baby its mostly because their stupid “older” boyfriend can’t either: A. Date someone his own age. B. Keep it in his pants. C. Is way too lazy to purchase a condom and use said condom. I mean really? I know young teens are stupid and impressionable but parents really need to explain to their dumb underage daughters and their horny overage sons (and vice versa) the seriousness of having sex. I mean I don’t want to sound like an after school special, but come on parents of the world. TALK TO YOUR DUMB KIDS. I find it strange that an older girl slept with a 12 year old boy. So I am assuming it was her doing that initiated the sexual relationship with this kid named Alfie. Of course I’m not saying she deserves all the blame. I find them along with their parents at fault for allowing their children to spend the night together. That’s right, they allowed Alfie to spend the night at his girlfriend’s house, where I’m guessing the fornicating took place. How sad. sigh.

I read this short story called Criminal Act by Harry Harrison. Where people are only allowed to have two children if you were to have a any more than that then you would have to die so your child could live. The main character of this story however fights back. They hire an assassin to kill the “offender” and if he fails then he takes the place as the one less mouth to feed. Of course (sorry if I ruin it) in the end the main character kills the assassin and thinks everything will be fine. He can live with his wife and three kids. His wife is pregnant with twins. And thats how it ends. Creepy right? Another short story called Problems with Creativeness by Thomas M. Disch. In this story, only smart people are allowed to have children. If you were not considered smart then you were not allowed to reproduce. The water supply had a contraceptive in it so thats how they stopped people from reproducing. These two stories were written in the 50’s and 60’s. Interesting reads.

They are called Condoms! You know, in case you haven’t heard of them.

I like reading horoscopes. Today’s reads-A surprise is coming your way this afternoon, and it’s going to push a few of your plans for the day way off track. This disruption isn’t necessarily a bad thing, though. It could be just the thing to mix up your life and infuse some exciting new energy into it! You need to learn to be less rigid about things anyway — and this is the first day of your lessons. If you can gain appreciation for the unknown and the unexpected, you will find more opportunities in life.

I need to get a job! I really hope I get the job at Library. Then I can set up a savings account which will come in handy when I move in with my sister. Sigh. Oh creepy thing happened the other day. Two girls came to the door and basically did what this article says. SO READ IT! Its creepy. (I just noticed I have a bruise on my knuckle. I know random side thought) Mom just gave Kat her laptop so now she has no excuse, she better update her blog more often and she better make her vlogs on time! Do you hear that Kat? I mean it!!!!! Anyway, my lappy is dying a slow and painful death. The battery is shot to hell. So until I have a job and save up money to buy a new laptop, (well first I would save up so I can help mom buy herself a laptop) I want to buy a new battery module until that fine day comes. sigh. My poor lappy.

Mija don’t be stressed ok? I miss you and hope to see you next weekend. Just keep thinking positive ok?

Virgo–They are generally reticent when faced with anything or anyone new. However, once they feel comfortable, they can talk up a storm. (How true is this about me? Very true. I try to warn people about that.) Virgo ascendant natives have a tendency to worry a lot, especially when confronted with new situations. They notice the tiniest details that others overlook.