Inside Kimmy's Mind

“Expectation is the root of all heartache.” -William Shakespeare

So I wore this to school Thursday. And my first class was English and it started at 2:15, and as I was walking to class with my boyfriend Dylan. There were people in the lounge area of the College looking at me and laughing. Now I could just be paranoid, or vain (thinking they were looking at me) not exactly sure. I mean they could have been laughing at Dylan but I doubt that. I mean I thought my outfit looked cute. It took me forever to pick out a shirt to wear. I changed like 5 times before class started. Anyway I thought that once I was in college I wouldn’t have to worry about the sort of people who judge you for being you. Regardless of how you dress or wear your hair ect. I mean when do people start acting like adults?

Well today my mom and I went to buy some felt so I can fix this jacket I ruined with paint. And as I was looking for the felt I decided to just gander at the art supplies. My art stuff is packed into a blue tub with all my college stuff piled on top of it. Its so depressing I miss taking art-Correction I miss taking art with my high school art teacher. T_T She made me love art. She is indeed the right person to be an art teacher. I also miss creative writing but there is always next semester right? Anyway I was looking at water color tablets trying to find the best one that wasn’t too expensive. As I was looking this guy was looking at the art stuff too. And then dun dun dun… I was hit on. lol

The entire time I’m thinking what does this guy want I’m trying to pick out some water color paper lol. Some one called him and he left; so I just grabbed one and left too before he could come back. lol I didn’t want to be rude or anything. lol >_< So I found my mom and we went to get the felt. Now I have never been hit on before. I mean only by my boyfriend when I first met him. Oh and by my stalker but I don’t wish to discuss that one. But it was at school. This was at a store. I have never been hit on at a store. I don’t even look like a college student. But it was nine in the morning so he knew I was in college. Or he assumed I was. lol Anyway I was just weired out by the whole thing. lol Funny right? NOW I’m going to paint something. Or try to anyway. Then of course start on my English paper. Sigh.

“I became insane, with long intervals of horrible sanity.” – Edgar Allan Poe

First day of Hell. OK I must admit college is 100 times better than high school. I mean I basically wasted time during those four years of misery. But then I wouldn’t be as happy as I am now. I wouldn’t have the friends that I have. *which I miss seeing.* I haven’t seen certain friends since the beginning of summer. Damn look at the time. I was making a vlog as too. So that’s why I’m up so late. Stupid shit. >_<

I have to get up and make dads lunch and do the dishes because I ignored them the other night. oops. I really wish dishes would wash themselves. I wonder if in the future life will be as easy as pushing a button. Like not having to clean anything because the house would clean itself. And people wouldn’t have to worry about being dumb or anything because you could program the knowledge of your choice into your brain without a worry. No side effects to worry about either. Another thing we as human beings wouldn’t be so damn fragile. I’m not saying we would out live time and such. But no disease or sickness. You know? We wouldn’t have to worry about germs and such. I shouldn’t complain right? I know. *sigh*

Well for English, here is the article I chose. I have to write an essay showing three reasons why you should read this without giving you a summary. Wish me luck.

You know how the last sentence you said, like echoes in your brain? And it just keeps sounding stupider and you have to say something else just to make it stop. – Claire Danes

I have been watching this show that came out in 1994 I believe, starring Claire Danes. It’s really good. I love how the main character thinks. Like some of the things, I feel like was picked out from my head. It’s funny because to me Claire Danes doesn’t look 15 in the show. I mean her character is but that doesn’t always mean she is. lol During this year I believe plaid was really in. I mean like the whole entire cast wears plaid or has more than one outfit containing plaid. I mean I for one don’t personally hate plaid. I am merely stating an observation.

Wilson Cruz- He plays Angela’s bi friend as Rickie Vasquez. He is my favorite character. He makes me smile.

But back to the main character. I like how she sees things that only certain people would notice. I mean she deals with both of her parents the annoying and the good parts. she deals with her weird but amazing friends. And the bitter once upon a time friends. And the heart throb that maybe might notice her but then turns out he just wanted sex or something of that matter. And the nerdy boy who is madly in love with her but she just sees him as the next door neighbor. And then a teacher who just makes you want to learn. I mean it really sums up high school life no?

This life has been a test. If it had been an actual life, you would have received actual instructions on where to go and what to do.”

“In ordinary life we hardly realize that we receive a great deal more than we give, and that it is only with gratitude that life becomes rich.” – Dietrich Bonhoeffer

I received a 1000 dollar scholarship, for being in the top 50% of my graduating class. In order to have the scholarship I must maintain a 3.0 grade point average and be a full time student. For college students, full time is 12 credit hours. I have 13 due to brain failure. (I’m so kidding) Well My brain sucks when it comes to math. It basically shut down all four years of high school. So now I have to re learn every thing dealing with math over again. But in my defense the test I took that determined my math class, I did not study for…much. If I had more time to study for it I think I would have been acceptable. SIGH. Depressing right? Well anyway maintain grade point average and be a full time student. And write a letter of appreciation to the people who donated the money. Yay! In other news, today was my little sisters first day of school as a sophomore. Since I graduated, she now has to go to high school without me. T_T

I know she will do fine in school though. lol I miss you too Kat.

My Virgo Horoscope: It’s okay to ask probing questions as long as you know where to draw the line. There are many demands that will be laid on you today but you should be up for the challenge. Be willing to refuse new projects if they are unfairly imposed upon you. Instead of worrying about the troubles coming your way, stand up and face them head on.

I hope this line isn’t drawn where I think it is? T_T

“So long as I’m no trouble to anyone, I have the right to do as I like.” – Cecil Vyse

I just recently watched a brand new adaptation of E.M. Foster’s A Room with a View. And I am currently watching the 1985 version starring Helena Bonham Carter, as Lucy Honeychurch. (I love names from the 1900’s) Is it me or does she always have interesting hair styles? I love watching movies like these, it makes me want to read the novels thinking they would be much more exciting. Don’t get me wrong, movies are wonderful I do love the 1985 version much more than the newer version. The most interesting character in my opinion is Eleanor Lavish. She was a novelist who wrote down the passionate kiss between Mr. Emerson and Lucy in her novel. (Thanks to stupid Charlotte who told her). Now during this time gossip was their entertainment. Like we have television, they have gossip. Now of course in the 21st century, we have our share of entertaining gossip and drama. But in the 2oth century it was much more widespread.

It another part I’d like to point out from the movie, which made me laugh was when Cecil kissed Lucy for the first time after they were engaged, and she was expecting something more knee weakening then what was given. lol Don’t we all expect our own George Emerson’s to sweep us off our feet with passion and lust that leads to a romance we hope was caused by fate. No? Helpless romantics eat crap like this up. Sadly I am one of them. A trait no doubt handed to me due to the fact that I am a girl or so I am told. And I am in no way saying men can’t be romantics in their own way. No sexist beings here, I might add.

“Now thats a conversation starter, come and have a bathe?”

OK I know this is some what childish to believe in such things; but today’s and tomorrows tarot card seemed accurate. (in a oh my bob sort of way) Again I know I really shouldn’t take these seriously, but I just found it amusing. Friday is my anniversary again,11 Months with Dylan. So thats why Friday’s tarot made me smile.

August 21st, Thursday’s Tarot card: The Devil represents wild behavior and reckless abandon. This is a card synonymous with temptation and addiction. At its worst, this card embodies evil, but at its best represents ambition, impulsiveness and pure devotion. You should be acutely aware of the destructive influences in your life and gather the strength to overcome them.

August 22nd, Friday’s Tarot card: The Lovers represent a powerful union and the harmony of opposites. It represents the combining of two elements to create an even greater entity. This card often represents the formation of a new relationship or the strengthening of a current one. Love can come your way at anytime. There are difficult decisions to be made and conflict may arise when temptation and desire overcome morals and ethics.

I hate being away from home, but in this case I was sort of at my home away from home. Cliché I know.

My sisters and I went to this cool store called All Records, where I bought my boyfriend Dylan his anniversary presents. Afterwards, Mija took us to Starbucks to get a drink. I got something called Chocolate Banana, I forgot what Mija got, Kat got Strawberry Cream I think? Don’t remember. This technically happened on the weekend. But it was still something I did with Mija.
Ok now the week.
It was just us two, she had to work so I slept most of the day away and got up in the afternoon and fed Tomo. (her cat) Then we would just you know watched tv, ate cheese and crackers, watched a million episodes of Degrassi, while making fun of it the entire time.  Yeah great times. Wednesday, I went to her work and after, we went somewhere to eat. On the way to the restaurant, I witnessed a teen on a unicycle.
Yes, a unicycle.
It was awesome. You don’t see that every day, unless you do, but in my case I don’t. On Friday, we went to the Galleria and I found something absolutely hilarious in the Sanrio store.

Her name is Kim as well. Sigh. And she is called an angry little girl. She says funny things like I’m surrounded by idiots ect. It made me laugh because my uncle used to call me Meaner; because I was mean to him growing up.

That was my week. This week Kat will be spending it in Houston with Mija. I could go, and part of me is saying, “go,” but I don’t want to take Mija time away from Kat. Its her turn.

It was a great week. And I am looking forward to spending another week with her soon. ^_^

My younger sister and I have been staying with our older sister’s apartment. And we have decided to work out during this week; because there is a gym where we can work off all the junk food we have consumed so far since summer started. Now I have gotten to see my friends some what, and my boyfriend, when he isn’t busy. I plan on making a video soon but I am extremely lazy. I also am looking for a job but I am way too picky and hope to find a job that doesn’t require as much human contact as most jobs do. lol wow that’s sad.

My sisters kitty being cute.

It’s only been a day so far at my sisters and I have encountered a different side of water. Now I don’t usually find myself craving any type of soda. I hate soda to be honest, and only drink lemonade, fruit punk, orange juice but mostly water. And at the place where my sister works they have these Italian and French carbonated waters. S. Pellegrino and Perrier. And lets just say they don’t quite quench my thirst….and never will.

I know this might sound like an after school special but whatever.

You know when people tell you not to compare yourself to others? Oh, or how you can tell your friends, that they look amazing even when they are in sweat pants and an over sized t-shirt; and you are telling them the truth because you see your friends as amazing. (well that’s how it is for me anyway) However, when it comes to looking in the mirror you only zoom in on your flaws and not the good things about you. Why is that? I mean I’m not trying to be an ego maniac, but some self confidence would be nice. And I’m not trying to be an emo woe is me I’m not beautiful sort of person. And its not like I’m fishing for compliments that’s the last thing I want. Before you freak out, its not like I’m incapable of looking in the mirror. I from time to time manage to take a glimpse and then sigh and shut off the light. I’m happy with my hobbies, with my sense of humor, personality. Just not my lack of self-esteem. Certain aspects of me aren’t, lets just say acceptable to me. Blah blah I know.

I really need to stop comparing myself to other people and just be happy being me. Regardless of my flaws. But how?