Inside Kimmy's Mind

I don’t believe in second chances. Once you screw up that’s it. I’m not the type of girl who forgives easily. I mean I take the situation into consideration. You lost the pen you borrowed…that’s fine, you ate the last doughnut?  Forget it. You’re screwed. >o<

In all seriousness, when it comes to relationships I have to set boundaries. I know it may sound harsh but it’s just how I am. It’s been about a month since my relationship ended. I was really angry and frustrated with him for how he chose to handle things. But I’m tired of holding on to that anger and I can say that I’m not as bitter as I once was.  He contacted me the other day and told me how much he misses me and that he loved me. The pissed off side of me couldn’t help but feel happy about that. I wanted to rub it in his face and tell him, “Of course you miss me. I could have told you that you would. I’m fucking awesome!!” XD But I was more interested in keeping my cool. I had the chance to say everything I wanted to say to him that night and now I just want to move on with my life. Before our relationship ended I tried my best to show him that I was there for him but he just wasn’t able to see that. The way he handled the situation was wrong but I hope the next relationship he has he knows it’s ok to rely on someone. As cheesy as I may sound at the moment, I am very serious. I couldn’t take everything he said as the truth but again I’ve decided to just rise above it. You can’t change the past, and even though I hated how the relationship ended I am going to move forward and be happy. I hope he does the same.

It’s nice being able to sort out my feelings and I’m glad that this entry can end on a happy note. Thanks for reading. :3

I spent some extra time thinking which song I wanted to share. I finally decided on Thank You by Mozella. Enjoy. [audio:http://numb.honey-vanity.net/wp-content/uploads/2012/06/ThankyouMozellalyricsYouTube.mp3|titles=ThankyouMozella]

Fruit by Brian Francis

I bought this book at Kaboom, one of the best used book stores in Houston. I fell in love with the place, and their prices are fantastic. I enjoy Half Price, but Kaboom has them beat. It’s own by the greatest couple too, they hold readings in the back of the store and it’s just a really nice place. I mentioned it in this post awhile back but deleted the pictures because I went with the ex. I just never got around to adding different pictures to that post so I’ll do that here as well. But first, back to the main reason of this entry. A book review. Now I’ve discussed books that I’ve read before but you can’t really call them reviews. You would think after 3 semesters of creative writing and I would be able to write an awesome book review. Well it’s my opinion about it so here it goes. I purchased a review copy, so I’m not sure how much of the story was changed in  the actual published version. But I absolutely loved this book. Both as a reader and as someone who enjoys writing. As I’ve developed my writing skills, I’ve discovered that I enjoy writing coming of age stories. So when I read a book that has taken something we have all gone through and made it relatable while at the same time different, I can’t help but swoon.And that is exactly what this book did for me.

Synopsis (found on the back of the book)

Thirteen-year-old Peter Paddington is overweight, the subject of his classmates’ ridicule, and the victim of too many bad movie-of-the-week storylines. When his nipples begin speaking to him one day and inform him of their diabolical plan to expose his secret desires, Peter finds himself cornered in a world that seems to have no tolerance for difference. Peter’s only solace is “The Bedtime Movies”- perfect-world fantasies that lull him to sleep every night. But when the lines between Peter’s fantasy world and his reality begin to blur, his hilarious adventures in overeating, family dysfunction, and the terrifying world of sexual awakening really begin. 

After reading that I just had to buy it. I love the style that Francis wrote this book in. It’s in first person from the POV of Peter. Although it is relatable, everyone experiences adolescence in their own way. This story was entertaining and it definitely made me think a lot about my own experiences, that awkward stage in life. While reading this book I laughed a lot…and out loud. I feel as though I should actually get my hands on a published copy so I can compare the two. Another thing I found interesting was the fact that it was about a boy and not a girl. As a female, the male mind is somewhat out of bounds so reading this from the perspective of a thirteen year old boy was another reason I enjoyed it. After reading this book, it made me want to start working on some short stories. I might share a few that were inspired by this book.

So if you are looking for a fun book to read I highly recommend Fruit. What style of books do you find yourself drawn to? And if you have book suggestions, let me know. 😀 Thanks for reading.

So I finally got my hair cut. I believe it’s been about 2 years since my last hair cut. o.o Crazy I know.

I’m always a little hesitant when it comes to getting my hair cut. I feel like if I go in thinking it will come out horrible then it won’t come as a shock if it does. Pessimistic I know. But I also try to remember that hair grows back and I will just have to deal with it until it does. People definitely put too much pressure on their hair. I think this is the shortest I’ve ever gotten it cut. I do sort of miss my long hair. But it’s refreshing to have all of that weight off. My hair is thick and there is always a lot of it. It takes forever to straighten it so I do like the new length. What I do hate about it is the length of my bangs. The girl who cut my hair, cut my bangs way too short so they look extremely awkward if I wear them down. And every time I straighten my hair I get a little angry at her. She didn’t even cut them all the same length, one side is a bit shorter and then there are a few random strands longer than the rest it is a mess. But again I need to remember that it will grow out and I will just have to find some way to pull them back until they do. The girl who cut my hair graduated with me and she’s only been cutting hair for a year. So of course she wouldn’t be great at it. It was actually really weird to have someone I went to school with shampooing and cutting my hair. She was going to cut a little girls hair but suddenly gave that customer to another hair dresser who was busy straightening her own her instead of focusing on the customers. -.- No one in my hometown can cut hair. After I finish showering and I start to straighten my hair I get a bit peeved when I see just how short my bangs are. They are so short that it makes pinning them back difficult. Too short even for a headband. So I do get a a bit frustrated. But whatever because it will grow back.

This is my mantra for the next couple of weeks…wait how fast does hair even grow? According to Google, it grows half an inch every month. -.- Which is bullshit, because before this hair cut I had a problem with keeping my bangs always being too long. I’m going to be frustrated for a while.[audio:http://numb.honey-vanity.net/wp-content/uploads/2012/06/SummerHouse-GoldMotel.mp3|titles=SummerHouse-GoldMotel] Thanks to Pandora I’ve been finding a bunch of great new music. It makes walking to school more fun.

Today was my first day of class. I’m just taking one, a math class, and I’m going to to PASS it this summer. That should actually be my new mantra. -.- This class is a 6 week class, I’ve never taken a 6 week class before so I hope I can keep up with the lessons. I’m not worried about homework or the online quizzes, it’s the in class tests and quizzes that I’m worried about. But I’m going to work hard so I can get this over with. My class ends July 9th, so I’ll have about 6 weeks of summer before my classes at UH start, which is awesome. I hope my sister Kat is able to spend a week in Houston with me before her fall semester starts. Today was fun, after my class I met up with Kat and we had lunch together. BC, aka baby college, went through a lot of remodeling since the last time I was enrolled. It looks really nice, I’ll make sure to take pictures the next time. Of course its not like I have any before pictures but still I want to show it off. Anyway, they now have this little grill and that is where we bought our lunches. I bought a chicken salad sandwich. I have a chicken salad sandwich bucket list going on. It’s my goal to try one from every place that has it on the menu. Pot Belly is the champ and I think it will always be the best in my book. But today’s sandwich was pretty good for $4. I got spinach, lettuce and cucumbers on it. :9 It was a good day, I came home and took a satisfying nap on the couch. Love naps. Well I’m off to read…wow it is such an awesome feeling to be able to snuggle up with a book. 😀

So how do you handle  bad hair cut? Do you high tail it out of the salon and then wear hats until it grows out? I wanna to know, and if you have any advice on working with bangs that were cut way too short let me know. :3

Revenge is sweet. Ok well not really revenge but closure sure is. 😀

Today I thought a lot about how weird it’s been to stop talking to someone who was a part of my life and then just isn’t anymore. I’ve been having a great summer so far. Being home has been nice, but I would be lying if I didn’t miss my Houston home. I feel as though I have two different lives and one is here and the other one is in Houston. Anyway,  on to what I really want to discuss. I was having dinner with my mom and sister and while we were in the middle of eating I get a text from an unknown number. Not unknown, just forgotten.  But I knew who it was from.  I sort of just glanced it over.

“I’m sitting at the cool kids table. Wow! I hope you are doing well.” 

To clarify, the “cool kids table” is what we called the corner table at Poison Girl Bar. Every time we went there for the Poison Pen reading series we would jokingly say how we wish we could sit at that table. My first instinct was to reply with, “I’m fantastic! Why wouldn’t I be?” But then I thought, why should I reply? Does he honestly think we are friends?  During the breakup, when I shook his hand, it was a sarcastic shake, not a let’s be friends handshake. I can’t see myself being his friend at the moment. My next thought was, yes!!! I’m in his head. He thought about me. Mwhahaha!! After I sent a few texts to friends and made a call to my sister Mija to gloat, I decided to ignore it. Why should I reply? I still have him on fb so he can see from my happy posts and pictures that I am doing great. That’s the only reason I’m allowing him to remain as a “friend”. So he can see how little this breakup has affected me. This then made me realize something. My life on the internet is pretty important to me. Not fb but my blog. It is essentially my life. I’ve been updating since 2008 and even before that. I pretty much post my blog link everywhere I go on the internet. I even discussed with him how I am a proud blogger. I would even show off the cute pictures I posted about him. And now that I’m thinking back on those moments he never showed any interest in my blog.  He never said anything about my blog so I’m assuming he never visited it. He didn’t have to comment but at least maybe read a few entries…especially since most of my posts were/are about him. I was interested in everything he said and did. His hobbies, aside from writing, weren’t exactly hobbies I cared about. Fly fishing being a big one. I don’t know anything about fishing, hunting or camping. I’m not an outdoorsy type of girl. I have a huge attachment to indoor plumbing and whatnot. But still I took an interest in finding out about all the things he liked. I asked questions and even considered going fishing with him if he was willing to teach me. But he never once acted interested in my other hobbies. And if he really wanted to know how I was doing then all he would have to do is read my blog to find out. I’m actually surprised he hasn’t thought to even check on my blog. I have my blog link under my fb info. (And if for some reason he does decide to check on my blog, calm down, it’s not as though I’m actually talking shit.) I’m merely rehashing the days events.  And most of my male bashing has been in general and I’ve pretty much kept it that way in these bitter posts. I haven’t cursed him or damned him in anyway. I even respected him by erasing his face my from blog and not mentioning his name.  A crazy girl would probably deface photos and start practicing voodoo by now. Luckily I’m pretty sane.

And to end this post- I’m thinking about getting my hair cut. My split ends have split ends. It’s horrible. So how do you handle a text from you ex? Especially if hasn’t even been that long since you broke up?

[audio:http://numb.honey-vanity.net/wp-content/uploads/2012/06/Marathon-Tennis.mp3|titles=Marathon-Tennis] Song by Tennis, I can’t get this song out of my head. <3 Love it. Thanks for reading.

Dating is difficult. This is something we all must come to terms with. I haven’t been dating for very long but here are the types of guys I have encountered. This only rings true for me I am in no way saying all guys are like this.

The Unenthusiastic “Musician”– Not to be confused by the “serious musician”, this type of guy doesn’t see himself really as a musician. He probably started playing because it was the “cool” thing to do and saw it as an opportunity to impress people. He has no ambition to actually play in a band. He just jams with like minded dudes who wear skinny jeans and chucks and wear their hair long because it makes a statement of being a rebel. This gets old.
The Video Gamer/Anime Otaku- This one can actually be quite annoying/scary. You don’t ever want to date someone like this. Unless you are equally into anime and video games as he is or if there is a healthy balance and he isn’t obsessed with hentai.  If he is just a normal video gamer then that might be ok, but be careful because they can be tricky.
The Asexual- He is the type who doesn’t know what he wants. I mean, ok well most guys don’t know what they want but I will say this is more true for this particular breed.  He is sort of like a robot and doesn’t really understand feelings. I feel as though he just goes with the flow because he thinks it’s what he should be doing.
The Writer- He is the kind of guy who will say bizarre things in hopes of shocking you. He’s also the type who will expect you to marvel at his literary genius. He wants you to read his work and express your opinions about it…but only if it is helpful. If you’re not prepared to offer a thorough critique then don’t bother expressing it because he won’t listen to it. When it comes to writers you also have to keep in mind that it also depends on the type of writer you have. Stay away from poets and screen writers. Actually I’ve decided to stay away from writers altogether.

I think I am almost done with the “Creative” guy category. All I need is maybe a photographer or a film student…maybe even a chef? It is difficult dating an artist. But I see myself as a nerdy creative type girl and therefore require that in a guy. Pffft. We shall see what the next guy brings. Also I want to thank everyone for being so supportive in my last post, I promise I won’t keep updating such bitter posts.

I decided that since this is my blog I get to be as immature as I want to be. So here we go, this will be a long post so I understand if you just skim.

So yeah, college dating experience two has ended. Yup. -.- Over. Not even a week of being boyfriend and girlfriend and it is over. But technically we dated for about two months before using labels.  I’m not going to lie. I’m obviously mad but not necessarily because the relationship is over. I’m pissed because guys are pussies!!! I guess I should start at the beginning of the end.

… continue reading this entry.

So I’ve heard about this amazing book store called Kaboom and I’ve been wanting to check it out for a while now.

But the last time I was close to visiting it I got confused and saw that the store was closed down. I thought the store was no longer around. Turns out, they just changed locations. So I went with Jay and I went out to lunch, Potbelly, and then found Kaboom Books. I bought two books, Lust by Susan Minot and a review copy of Fruit by Brian Francis. I love review copies, because they usually say on the cover do not sell. And here I am buying it. mwhahaha 🙂 It was a lot of fun, of course I felt bad because he had just taken his French final and was extremely tired.  And then he came over and we watched Amélie. Not the best movie to get French off his mind but I love that movie. Today we went out to lunch again, he gets so excited when we find new places to eat. He had trouble deciding between hamburgers and pizza. Even though he has been craving Chinese food for awhile now. XD We shared a large pizza at Two Guy’s Pizzeria and then we walked around Rice Village. A lot of great shops around here. We went to a store called PH Design Shop, he bought some notebooks which is awesome because now I know where to buy them for future reference. I feel as though I find a typewriter everywhere I go. They are so trendy right now. How freaking cool is the one pictured below? After that we just walked around Rice Village some more. Great area. Unrealistic prices though. -.-  He wanted some coffee so we stopped at this French bakery and had some tiramisu. Really yummy. (Quick side note: Notice the robot walking on my picture? Cute huh? The artist can be found here. I just made it into a brush, I feel as though when I post group pictures it is always odd looking because of the bare corners. So I plan on adding cute drawings to the pictures. ) After that I just listened to him talk about music. He is a very fascinating person. His taste in music is just all of over the place. I love listening to him ramble on and on about anything really. Today it just happened to be about music.  And  that was my day, I always have fun with him. So I have a lot of things to look forward to after Thursday. I’m almost done with finals, I have a math final on Thursday and I cannot wait to put it behind me. And I’m introducing Jay to my parents and my younger sister this Friday. I’m super excited and can’t wait for them to meet him. After that he will officially be my boyfriend. We’ve only been dating a month but I’m ready to make it official. Then the following weekend I meet his parents and celebrate his sister Jessica’s birthday. And then we have a week of writing for the Boldface conference. And then I move back home for the summer. I’m really gonna miss being able to see him and go on dates. Hopefully he can visit now and then. Plus he suggested we send each other letters. How freaking adorable is that? And then come June it’s back to school with me. Yup I’m taking summer courses. -.- Ok well I have no idea why I stayed up this late. I am crazy. I’m off to sleep the day away. >.<

Song of the day Cheek to Cheek by Ella Fitzgerald and Louis Armstrong [audio:http://numb.honey-vanity.net/wp-content/uploads/2012/05/CheekToCheek-EllaFitzgeraldLouis.mp3|titles=CheekToCheek-EllaFitzgeraldLouis]

So what are you looking forward to? Finals being over? Summer? A party? Let me know. 😀

Concentrating is difficult when there are a bunch of things I’d rather being doing.

This semester is the first time I’ve had such an overload of crap to get done. Here is my current list of stuff to get done.

Nonfiction:

• 2 Peer critiques- due 4-30-12
• Paper 2 revised-due 5-2-12

Shakespeare:

• 10 pg paper- due 5-2-12
• Test (in class)- 4-30-12
• Test (take home)-5-7-12

Fiction:

• Portfolio- due on 5-1-12
• Reflective 4 pg Essay (included in portfolio)

Math:

• Final- 5-10-12

-.- I’m tired just thinking about all the things I have to do. I just can’t wait for this semester to be done. I want to enjoy the month I have off before I start classes over the summer. :/ That’s right…more school. I go home every summer and take a few classes at the community college in my home town. It’s cheaper and my parents enjoy having me home. Of course this is the first time I actually have a bigger reason to want to stay in Houston. Sadly, staying isn’t an option. But hey that is when technology comes in and helps make things easier.

Anyway, I jut finished putting my portfolio together and now I am working on my reflective essay. And then once that is done I can start writing my Shakespeare essay, I’m thinking five pages tonight and five tomorrow, but I also have a Shakespeare test to study for. I’m freaking out about that. The plays I should be re reading are….

• Henry The Fourth
• Macbeth
• Antony and Cleopatra
• Coriolanus

And then my 10 pg essay has to be over a specific act out of all of the plays we’ve read this semester. >o< And then of course there is the take home test that is due on the 7th and that i essentially an essay in itself. My professor is a horrible person!!! There are so many things I’d rather be doing, like figuring out what to get my sister for her birthday. She is turning 19 this year.

I just needed a break from writing. Yeah and I decided to blog as a break? I dunno, I’m weird that way. Once finals are over I’ll post more exciting things along with cute make-you-sick date pictures. I’m happy. XD

Do you follow a study schedule when finals roll around? Or do you just wing it and somehow make it out unscathed?

So I’ve met one of his sisters. One down and two to go and then of course there is his mom and dad to win over.

I hope they like me. I mean there is nothing worse than having your family hate the person you are dating. I can’t wait to introduce him to my parents. I think they will really like him. All in due time. I know I’ve been on cloud 9 recently because of him. And I’m trying to keep my head on straight. I still have a life that doesn’t have to revolve around him. Even though I want to talk to him and see him all the time. I realize that is a dangerous feeling to have. But I’ve been really happy since I’ve starting seeing him. Not that I was unhappy before. Because I wasn’t, its just now I wake up with a huge smile on my face. Also he’s actually been a motivation to get my homework done faster as well. So that is always nice. And whenever I’m around him, he makes me want to journal more. I want to work on writing more stories for things like TFL and Boldface. >.< Anyway so last Saturday, I volunteered at the Houston Indie Bookfest. It was a lot of fun, I stood behind the CLMP table. In the beginning  I was unsure and timid. I had no clue as to what they wanted me to do but luckily there was another volunteer at the table to assist me. But once he left I had to step  it up. By the end of my second shift I was charismatic and a terrific sales person. I greeted passersby and helped in anyway I could. I even started asking if they were writers and what genre was their forte. It was pretty fun, I really love the indie fest. It reminds how much I love the writing community. After my shift ended, I had lunch with Jay, his sister and her boyfriend. We met at the Hobbit Cafe. It was fun, his sister seemed really shy and didn’t talk much. But I’m hoping she opens up more as she gets to know me. But it was really fun and I was happy to meet one of his family members. Especially since the night before he had met one of my sisters. After we went to lunch with his sister we headed to the park. We just walked around and then sat on a bench and talked and enjoyed the day. Then we headed to Berripop where we shared a cup of frozen yogurt. And then we walked down University street and visited Urban Outfitters and Half Price Books. He then asked me if I wanted a book or anything, I always feel awkward when someone offers to buy me something. I don’t know why but I just feel weird. I’m not talking birthday gifts or Holiday gifts, but those this-made-me-think-of-you gifts. They are great but I won’t ask for anything. We saw the Tiny Book of Tiny Stories and he offered while I politely declined. Come Monday he went back and bought it for me. Great first gift if I do say so myself. He’s so adorable. Also his mom made me blueberry cookies and they were delicious. We’ve already made plans in May to meet each others parents. He meets mine May 11th and I’ll meet his May 19th. I’m excited but extremely nervous, I hope everyone likes everyone. XD

 Another thing I would like to share with you is…drum roll please…I finally got my braces off. And it is so weird. I have to wear a retainer and it is the most annoying thing. My gums are pretty sore and I think I went a little floss happy and irritated them a bit. Now they are just angry. :/ But I am happy  that I finally got them off, of course I am gonna kind of miss having the different colors and sharing this experience with my younger sister. We both had braces and now that I don’t she jokingly says we aren’t brace face buddies anymore.  She’s funny. I find smiling very awkward. As you can see in the picture on the left. I have an awkward smile. But in my defense my cheeks and gums were already hurting and tired. I’ll get used to smiling just like I’ll get use to this blasted retainer. >.< And then after that all I have to do is go to the dentist so they can fix my front tooth and whiten the hell out of them. Do not be fooled by the picture. My teeth are not white. They only reason the picture depicts that is because of the sunny room and picture effect on instagram. My username for instagram is Kimmyjupiter if you’re interested in knowing that.

 Okay well I’ve stayed up long enough. But let me end by asking you this…do you find smiling awkward or difficult when taking pictures? Because my entire face just tenses up and just looks horrible.