Inside Kimmy's Mind

Health update: So I had my colonoscopy last week, everything came back healthy. The day before my procedure was horrible though, I couldn’t eat anything and I had to take this horrible medicine that well….emptied out everything. Enough said. However, even though I am deeply happy about having a happy colon. In other health aspects, I had the worst sore throat/cold/ear pains all throughout last week. It started as a scratch one day and then resulted in trouble with swallowing. You never noticed how often you have to swallow your own saliva until it hurts every time. Even during your sleep! The pain was intense, I mean I’m sure there are worst things, but this was extremely painful. I went to urgent care because I waited too long and I just couldn’t take it anymore. They gave me a prescription for medicine that heals strep throat, thankfully it went away.  On top of having a stuffy nose and sore throat my jaw has also been hurting me. I feel as though I’m falling apart. Is this really because of age?! I mean, I know that I as I get older I can’t be scared of doctors and need to make sure I’m healthy. Because youth does not mean you can’t get sick.  While at urgent care, they took an x-ray to make sure my throat was ok. I still find it weird to see it. I mean, bones are just so weird looking. My jaw looks so wide and not at all like what my skin is covering. I also see why skeletons are associated with fear. I mean, aside from tying it to death, They just look so fragile, it’s scary. It also makes me think that I have a really wide neck and I realize how bad my posture is. :/

 Ok, I’ve rambled on enough. I’m glad I’m getting better, now I just have to catch up with school work then things will be back to normal. It sucks being sick as an adult. When you’re kid, your mom brings you a bowl of soup and you get to watch cartoons all day.  To being young!!! That’s all for now…

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You know that feeling you get when you come to the realization  that you are now an adult? I , still being in school and partially dependent  on my parents, have felt the cusp of this realization.

I am doing my best to finish school. I know that when I do finally finish I will probably  miss being in school. But the current  me is ready to be done. I want to move on/up in life. I know I won’t get there by skipping parts, and I’m not  trying to skip anything I just wish I was was  more prepared at this point.

I had a little health scare a couple weeks back and now I have to go to a GI and have samples taken, meaning needles will be involved. -.- Today I had to get blood drawn and needles and I do not get along. I exaggerated the pain a bit in my head so I’ve been dreading it for the past two weeks. It didn’t hurt at all. My arm feels a bit funny now, but I’m just glad it’s done. Now to get passed the procedure next week. T-T  More worrying.  I’ll keep you updated on the results.

Now on to happy things! I’ve picked up a few goodies in the past few weeks. >.<  I couldn’t help myself, so I wanted to share with you the things I’ve bought to distract myself and about the moments that have made me smile.

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In my last post I was minutes from meeting the bf’s parents, and that went well. There were moments of awkward silences but I think it was a successful meeting all in all. His mother was beyond sweet, and his 6 year old sister was adorable.  She makes the same expressions as he does and it was just cute. His step dad was pretty quiet but he would chime in every once in a while.

I was also happy to witness the interaction between him and his mother. When he talks about his mom he often says how she has her life and he has his. But they joked around and she acted like a mother. Not that I didn’t think she would act like one, but he keeps his family life pretty much to himself and I try not to pry. All in all, I liked meeting his family and hopefully the next time I won’t be as nervous. And I hope the meeting with my family goes well too.

I hope you had a nice Valentine’s…even if you don’t celebrate it in the traditional sense. The bf and I just stayed in, I picked him and some Chick-Fil-A up after working an Egypt party at the museum. I even bought the roomie some pink tulips. Buying flowers was nice, I need to buy an actual vase and buy flowers every once in a while. I know they die, but they are also really pretty and I didn’t want to buy a pastry chef sweets, so I opted for some pretty flowers instead. She’s the best, so I wanted to show her some appreciation. :3

I also want to share what I got on a recent visit to Target. Oh Target, why must you be so alluring. I mentioned flowers earlier which is why I think I wanted these as badly as I did.  I noticed these beauties on sale and couldn’t help but get them. Wearing them out today gave me a little jaunt in my step, they also had some mint ones and some polka dot ones that were really adorable as well but the flower ones won out in the end. Gah! Target!

Aside from my Target adventures and a low key Valentine’s the date for the bf and my parents to meet has been decided. March 21st.  I’m excited yet nervous. I mean, I’m sure he’s nervous as well but he’s probably put it out of his mind for now. I hope it goes well, I want everyone to like everyone. Ok, I’ve rambled on enough and I have work in the morning so I should get some sleep. I’ve been exhausted and keep taking naps as soon as I get home from work or school and it has ruined my sleep schedule.  That’s all for now…

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 Monday started off like any other day. I had an early shift at Paper Source and I got out early. (I hate closing, so this was wonderful.) It wasn’t busy in the store either, I mostly checked in shipment and restocked things after crossing them off a list. And occasionally I’d help out with a customer. Oh, I was glued to the phone for most of my shift, which is annoying…I have terrible phone skills. Clocking out and heading to my car is one of the greatest feelings ever, but that day, not so much.

I was talking to my sister on the phone when  I noticed…my car wasn’t where I parked it. But let me give you some background on the parking system where I work. Ok, so parking is crap everywhere, but here people are so busy trying to get a spot in front of the stores that they ignore the huge garage that is always empty….oh and free! But, since I am an employee of a store, I am not allowed to park there. Employees have to park in this lot that is across the street near the train tracks in the most awkward and crazy location ever.  Oh and I need a sticker that I am still unsure where to get…all before my 10 a.m. shift tomorrow. :/ Anyway, going back to the horror….

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I’m so incredibly sore after having three parties at the museum this past Saturday.  It’s been awhile since I’ve worked a whole day at the museum and I’m feeling it.

But even though my legs and feet feel like they are no longer connected to my body it was worth it! I finally got my first email feedback from birthday parents…well my first GOOD feedback, I probably had some bad ones that were never mentioned to me.

Thank you for all you and your team did to make the event special!

That was for my 9 am party, I felt as though it went well so but I didn’t think they would send feedback. My second party was very appreciative I figured this would be the party that would send feedback but they didn’t but my last party of the day, which was a solo party did. My first solo feedback!!!

I cannot believe how fast 2014 came and went.  This was a hard year for me, and I don’t want to focus on the reasons why it was hard, because there are also many wonderful things that happened as well and I should focus on the good and grow from the not-so-good.

School was pretty hard this fall, but I managed to pass all of my classes and graduation is a lot closer….next fall! So I’m going to work extra hard and do my absolute best. I need to go out with a bang and leave UH feeling positive. Even though the fact that it has taken me THIS long is a huge downer. But hey, that’s dwelling on negative thoughts.

So let’s make this post about things I’m loving!!! <3

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I spent time with my friend Katie on Tuesday, we talked, we cried, but mostly we laughed while remembering the amazing person that her husband was.

She confided in me the actual details of his last days. Those days belong to her and she felt comfortable enough to share them with me. I still cry a lot thinking about him and about the fact that he’s no longer here with us. And now I cry knowing more about his last moments on earth. They were horrible and painful, but I’ll keep those details to myself. I was just happy that she came to me during an incredibly difficult time and felt somewhat at ease with me. Even though  I know, no amount of crying or eating candy will make this easier for her, I just wanted to be there for her.

Ok, let’s move on to Holiday festivities, I need something less sad and more happy. I just wanted to touch base, because both he and Katie have been on mind a lot. I only got to hangout with them every now and I regret not spending more time with them. Which is why I hope to spend more time with Katie and friends in general. Life is short. As cliche as it sounds, it is. I’ve heard that saying pretty often but this is the first time it actually resonates with real meaning. I don’t want to regret things like this, things I control.

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A book I have, a friend gave,

Whose pencil, here and there,
Had notched the place that pleased him,–
At rest his fingers are.

Now, when I read, I read not,
For interrupting tears
Obliterate the etchings
Too costly for repairs. -Emily Dickinson 

I lost a dear friend this week. I was lucky enough to call him my best friend when we were kids, and lucky again to pick up our friendship where we left off. He was always so positive, no matter what life dealt him. He was diagnosed with crohn’s disease during our sophomore year in high school and still saw the world with the same rosy glow. If only there were more people like him, the world would be a better place if there were. He suffered from an abscess and was having surgery last week, only things did not go well. I still have trouble believing that he’s no longer here and it pains me even more when I think about Katie, his wife. Seeing him with her, made me believe how two people can be made for each other. And I’m so happy that he found someone that loved him the way he deserved to be loved. I only hope she knows that I’m always here for her.

 Dustin, I hope you are in a better place. I’m sorry that you didn’t get to do all the things you wanted to do in life. I’m sorry you didn’t get a chance to go back to school for your masters or become a father. I know you would have done great things. You deserved so much more, but I know if you were here now, you would just give me that same ole smile. That smile that always said, “I’m happy.”

Thank you for being my friend and good bye for now, Moon Light Knight.

 

I had this holiday weekend to finish up homework and here I am still looking at blank word documents, this is just insane. This semester has been nothing but complete and utter misery.

Tons of things are due this week and I find myself, but of course, procrastinating.

List of things that are due for the end of this ghastly semester:

• Outside story- 12-3
• CV in the voice of Arthurian character – 12-2
• Job letter in the voice of a different Arthurian character 12-2
• Job letter in my voice for the costumes of an Arthurian film 12-2
• Creative project/final essay 12-10
• Final exam 12-15
• Final essay 12-9

This is all due in the coming weeks, even though the semester is essentially over. I mean, why?!! I’m so tired and just ready to call it quits. I just do not possess the energy to type out anything more. And to top it off, my laptop is not working. T-T I am currently typing this and working on my little netbook. I only hope it can handle all the work I need it to do. I hate doing homework at school, but that might actually make me get things done. -.- Have I mentioned how exhausted I am?

It sucks that all my assignments are due and I’m still recovering from my Thanksgiving food coma. I went home for the first time in months, last time I was home was back in September and that was only for a night. My parents have been remodeling things and the house looks different. A weird feeling when you feel like a guest in your own home. I mean, it’s where my family is and I of course feel comfortable there, but this time definitely felt more like someone else’s house. I’m sure it wouldn’t take too long for me to regain my usual feelings towards it, but I only had two nights there. I also drove home for the first time by myself. I was tense and scared but I was able to do it! It was weird, in the past I usually felt this comfort knowing that I was driving to Lake Jackson because that is where my driving confidence lived. But this time, I couldn’t wait to get back to Houston to what is now familiar. Something I never thought would happen. I’ve driven more times in Houston than I have in Lake Jackson even though I grew up in Lake Jackson, it has grown and changed a lot. But aside from that, spending time with my family was wonderful, however I didn’t get much work done and now here I am struggling with homework. -.-

Ok. Back to work!!! I took a nap, so I should be able to get some things done. Pffft Thanks for always being around procrastination. Wish me luck.

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I’m finally making time to update the blog! I won’t bore you with my usual excuses, but I feel my eyes getting heavy as I attempt to write this post and I have no idea what I was going to update about.

That was the only thing I managed to type Friday night, before falling asleep on the couch with my laptop still perched on my lap. And here I am, beginning the same way once again. My exhaustion isn’t the only reason why I haven’t blogged in awhile, but again I won’t mention more excuses. So, let’s catch up. How have you been? Me? Well, aside from not blogging I’ve been working, going to school and working some more.

But let’s cover the basics. However, I’m gonna try to keep it at three words or less.

• School: Rather not discuss.
• Family: Missing them deeply.
• Friends: Amazingly awesome!
• Work: Great, but exhausting.
• Romance: Evolving.
• Life: Lucky to exist.

Life has been hard, but it has also been unbelievably fantastic as well. And even though I have a million doubts and fears at the moment, I also have a million smiles and laughs to battle against them. It’s 5 a.m. right now, and I have work tomorrow…today. But luckily my shift doesn’t start until 4:30, so I’m not too worried. I think I’ll stop this entry here, I tired of thinking and just want to fall asleep playing Fantasy Life. Which I think everyone should buy and play!!! Meaning, you should buy a 3DS and link up with me!!! Ok, I’ll most likely talk more about it next time, along with some more deep life thoughts. You’ll have something awesome to look forward to.

Until then…..thanks for reading.