Inside Kimmy's Mind

A book I have, a friend gave,

Whose pencil, here and there,
Had notched the place that pleased him,–
At rest his fingers are.

Now, when I read, I read not,
For interrupting tears
Obliterate the etchings
Too costly for repairs. -Emily Dickinson 

I lost a dear friend this week. I was lucky enough to call him my best friend when we were kids, and lucky again to pick up our friendship where we left off. He was always so positive, no matter what life dealt him. He was diagnosed with crohn’s disease during our sophomore year in high school and still saw the world with the same rosy glow. If only there were more people like him, the world would be a better place if there were. He suffered from an abscess and was having surgery last week, only things did not go well. I still have trouble believing that he’s no longer here and it pains me even more when I think about Katie, his wife. Seeing him with her, made me believe how two people can be made for each other. And I’m so happy that he found someone that loved him the way he deserved to be loved. I only hope she knows that I’m always here for her.

 Dustin, I hope you are in a better place. I’m sorry that you didn’t get to do all the things you wanted to do in life. I’m sorry you didn’t get a chance to go back to school for your masters or become a father. I know you would have done great things. You deserved so much more, but I know if you were here now, you would just give me that same ole smile. That smile that always said, “I’m happy.”

Thank you for being my friend and good bye for now, Moon Light Knight.

 

I had this holiday weekend to finish up homework and here I am still looking at blank word documents, this is just insane. This semester has been nothing but complete and utter misery.

Tons of things are due this week and I find myself, but of course, procrastinating.

List of things that are due for the end of this ghastly semester:

• Outside story- 12-3
• CV in the voice of Arthurian character – 12-2
• Job letter in the voice of a different Arthurian character 12-2
• Job letter in my voice for the costumes of an Arthurian film 12-2
• Creative project/final essay 12-10
• Final exam 12-15
• Final essay 12-9

This is all due in the coming weeks, even though the semester is essentially over. I mean, why?!! I’m so tired and just ready to call it quits. I just do not possess the energy to type out anything more. And to top it off, my laptop is not working. T-T I am currently typing this and working on my little netbook. I only hope it can handle all the work I need it to do. I hate doing homework at school, but that might actually make me get things done. -.- Have I mentioned how exhausted I am?

It sucks that all my assignments are due and I’m still recovering from my Thanksgiving food coma. I went home for the first time in months, last time I was home was back in September and that was only for a night. My parents have been remodeling things and the house looks different. A weird feeling when you feel like a guest in your own home. I mean, it’s where my family is and I of course feel comfortable there, but this time definitely felt more like someone else’s house. I’m sure it wouldn’t take too long for me to regain my usual feelings towards it, but I only had two nights there. I also drove home for the first time by myself. I was tense and scared but I was able to do it! It was weird, in the past I usually felt this comfort knowing that I was driving to Lake Jackson because that is where my driving confidence lived. But this time, I couldn’t wait to get back to Houston to what is now familiar. Something I never thought would happen. I’ve driven more times in Houston than I have in Lake Jackson even though I grew up in Lake Jackson, it has grown and changed a lot. But aside from that, spending time with my family was wonderful, however I didn’t get much work done and now here I am struggling with homework. -.-

Ok. Back to work!!! I took a nap, so I should be able to get some things done. Pffft Thanks for always being around procrastination. Wish me luck.

Thanks for reading and commenting

I’m finally making time to update the blog! I won’t bore you with my usual excuses, but I feel my eyes getting heavy as I attempt to write this post and I have no idea what I was going to update about.

That was the only thing I managed to type Friday night, before falling asleep on the couch with my laptop still perched on my lap. And here I am, beginning the same way once again. My exhaustion isn’t the only reason why I haven’t blogged in awhile, but again I won’t mention more excuses. So, let’s catch up. How have you been? Me? Well, aside from not blogging I’ve been working, going to school and working some more.

But let’s cover the basics. However, I’m gonna try to keep it at three words or less.

• School: Rather not discuss.
• Family: Missing them deeply.
• Friends: Amazingly awesome!
• Work: Great, but exhausting.
• Romance: Evolving.
• Life: Lucky to exist.

Life has been hard, but it has also been unbelievably fantastic as well. And even though I have a million doubts and fears at the moment, I also have a million smiles and laughs to battle against them. It’s 5 a.m. right now, and I have work tomorrow…today. But luckily my shift doesn’t start until 4:30, so I’m not too worried. I think I’ll stop this entry here, I tired of thinking and just want to fall asleep playing Fantasy Life. Which I think everyone should buy and play!!! Meaning, you should buy a 3DS and link up with me!!! Ok, I’ll most likely talk more about it next time, along with some more deep life thoughts. You’ll have something awesome to look forward to.

Until then…..thanks for reading.

That’s right, wheels…meaning a car! And yours truly will have her own (hopefully tomorrow), my very own car! I kid you not, I’ve dreamed of this day for years, well there was a time, ages 16-18 where I gave up on the license/car thing and was totally fine with it.

While all of my friends/peers were taking driver’s Ed and passing, I was home busy watching Buffy the Vampire Slayer and Molly Ringwald in her Brat Pack days. The reason I was totally fine with not being one of the many was because of the annual- Don’t Drink and Drive video. I became terrified with being behind a wheel and just brushed off the idea of ever driving myself to school. Not that I hadn’t thought about it, I would day dream from time to time of walking from the parking lot to my class and leaving campus for lunch. But then the fear set in and I just accepted the fact of not bringing that day dream to life. But then after 18, not having a car became extremely aggravating. I didn’t even get my license until I turned 23, and even though I had that tiny piece of plastic that proves my age and says I can drive an automobile it doesn’t magically make one a confident driver. Which passing the driving test should be enough confidence needed but sadly for me it wasn’t/isn’t. I am a very timid driver and haven’t driven in forever! At least it feels like it.

… continue reading this entry.

I haven’t updated in awhile and  it’s been driving me crazy.  But I’m changing that now, here I am attempting to update a short post. I have so many things that have happened in the past month and I still haven’t had a chance to update about any of it. But for now, I’m just going to post a little update and some random thoughts I’ve been having. Such as knitting! I created my own jellyfish pattern, I updated about it awhile back and I’ve been improving it. I even gave one to a new friend that I met on campus. I’m thinking of selling them on Etsy. But I’m a bit scared about this whole selling items I create. But I’ll just keep practicing and improving.

Another thing I’m excited about is forming the knitting loop on campus! It might take awhile for it to develop into what I hope it turns out to be, but I know it’s heading in the right direction. I’m alsoexcited to meet new people. I’ve made several new friends already this semester and it’s a wonderful feeling. Especially since it hasn’t always been very easy for me.  But I actually have friends that I can meet up with on campus, do you know how much I wished for that when I first started UH. It’s wonderful to have it now, so in that since I’m glad I’m still in school, even though I met two of my new friends outside of school. We just happened to attend the same college.

I said I would do my best to make this a short update, I need to make time for my blog. I’ve missed it, and I still have tons of drafts that are waiting to be finished and posted. Ok, it’s late, until next time….

Thanks for reading and commenting.

I’ve been wanting a lot of things recently. And most of these things are related to crafting in some way, especially since I now work in a craft store. My inspiration meter has been going off the charts. I just want to create all the time, sadly I’m not left with the energy to do so on some days.

After work, I try to head on over to my desk to doodle or knit something, ANYTHING really. And it’s weird, because there are times where I want to create and have the time but I’m not feeling motivated to do so. Now I have the motivation and the inspiration and I just don’t have the energy. My eyes are heavy as I type this entry out. Blogging is another way I can feel creative, because I’m sharing something with others. And recently I’ve been adding doodles to entries so it makes me feel happy when I can post my progress on the whole doodle front. And when you see progress that always makes you work harder, even if it’s small improvements. Like this knitted jellyfish I made. I bought a crochet version that I mentioned here awhile back and I’ve been wanting to recreate it in a knit version. I’ve finally gotten around to doing so and here is the first prototype. It’s pretty raw, but I am proud with how it came out. Need to work on fixing the stitches on the i cord tentacles, and then need to stuff it with a more sturdy stuffing, I didn’t have anything aside from yarn, so that’s what I used. Still pretty good with no pattern. I a basically created my own pattern for it, based on techniques I have learned in the past. Go me!!! I’m really excited about this. Because usually crochet is the skill you need in order to create cute little plushies. I mean, not always…I’ve seen some talented knitters created plushies by changing a pattern into a knitted version. I’ve still got long ways to go, but this project has made me feel really good about my knitting skills, even with all of it’s flaws. It’s nice to pinpoint the areas I need to focus on the next time I knit one. Hopefully, that one will be an improvement.

 Real quic, so NBC has this new show, it’s called A to Z, which doesn’t premiere until October but Hulu has the first episode on it. Watched it right after Sailor Moon, and it’s a bit cheesy, but I love Cristin Milioti. She was the perfect mother in HIMYM and I’m glad to see her in another show. I just hope America can embrace the cheese and give it a chance, because what’s wrong with sappy rom com tv shows? I know they sometimes create unrealistic expectations, but that’s why you escape to fiction in the first place. For something that doesn’t always happen in reality.

Go watch the episode, let me know your opinion on it, I think it could be cute and interesting. That’s all I wanted to say in this post, until next time….

Thanks for reading and commenting.

Today’s doodle illustrates how I feel after every shower, and then I have to flat iron the hell out of my hair in order to tame the wild beast that is my hair.

I was gonna go on a rant about my frizzy hair but now I’m just putting it in for some comic relief, not to downplay the topic I  will be discussing. Plus the doodle looks angry and well I was pretty angry the other day. I apologize in advance, but this is my opinion and of course I would love to hear yours.

So I’ve notice several articles/videos  over the topic of street harassment. It’s definitely not a fun topic to discuss but I feel as though I should address it today. Several videos that I watched are found here, here and here. Now, I can only speak about my personal experience as a woman. And seeing as I am a woman, I can only voice from my side of the situation. I am in no way saying harassment doesn’t happen to men. Now that we got that out of the way lets move on.

… continue reading this entry.

You know what’s annoying? Gnats! These little boogers have moved into my apartment and I can’t seem to get rid of them.

 But any way, so I’ve started working at Paper Source, and I’m really enjoying it and so far all of my co workers have been really nice and helpful. I still hate that I don’t know where everything is but eventually I’ll know how everything works. I’ve gotten used to ringing up customers but doing refunds is still a mystery…I’m hoping I’ll get the hang of it soon. I’m also not sure when I’ll be able to clock in, they still haven’t given me a clock in number…I’m just hoping that they are keeping tracking of the hours I’ve already worked because I’m not working for free. >.<

On to the next topic, so there’s this girl I’ve seen who lives in my apartment complex, the first time I saw her she was by the pool with her camera and a tripod. That usually means two things…

1. She’s a vlogger and was recording a video…
2. She’s a blogger and was taking pictures for an OOTD post…

Ok, there might be some other reasons as to why she had a camera but come on!!! We must be kindred spirits! And I’m making it a goal to befriend her the next time I see her. I probably sound really creepy, but I love finding new blogger friends. After finding Cloudy Chase, we are soooo much alike and it’s wonderful, I hope to find more Houston bloggers. The second time I saw her she had her camera and tripod again and was setting it up on the sidewalk outside our complex, it would have been the perfect time to go up and ask her what she was doing, but all I did was gawk and then walk away. -.- I didn’t know how to approach her or even how to ask her if she was in fact a blogger. And besides, you can’t just ask a blogger for their URL. There’s like this unspoken protocol if you don’t already know each others blogs. But that’s under normal circumstances, bloggers don’t just advertise their  blogs to the public IRL. You wait until the subject of blogging or something similar is brought up and then the switch is made…usually easier when both parties blog. But if only one blogs then that’s a different story. I don’t know about you, but my personal experience with those that do not blog isn’t all that great. They usually look at you and say….”That’s nice.” Or “So, you talk about yourself?” -.- I hate explaining myself when it comes to my blog…and you usually don’t have to explain it when speaking to another blogger/kindred spirit. It’s a nice feeling when people just seem to understand you…not that, that is the only way for people to be friends. I still have friends that aren’t bloggers and I’m in no way implying that my friendship with them isn’t great. I’m probably making this more difficult than it really is. I find it hard to make friends nowadays, they usually don’t last and then I’m left thinking…what happened? Relationships are difficult…romantic and friendship wise. -.- But what’s the worst that could happen? She isn’t a blogger and just says no? Might give me a weird look but I’m used to that. He he….o.O

Alright, I’ve rambled on long enough for this post. I’m off to work, let me know if you’ve experienced something similar in the friend department. That’s all for now.

Thanks for reading and commenting.

I tried my hand at coloring in my drawings in photoshop, pretty time consuming and they are still rough seeing as I have no idea what I’m doing. But I do feel like I progressed during each drawing so that’s encouraging, just have to continue practicing and watching youtube videos for techniques and whatnot.

So here’s doodle #1, still doing the mint hair and meat buns! Eyes are not the same shape, I use my Wacom tablet thing but even with the pen it’s still pretty difficult to outline my sketch. I tried doing this with a different doodle but my lines kept coming out shaky and weird looking. I think this is a lot better than previous attempts and I’m excited to see what future attempts will look like.

Doodle #2 the eyes are the same, because duh, I’m in Photoshop…I can duplicate and flip things. Yay!!! In this one I focused more on the eyes and hair. Didn’t do the copy and flip thing with the actual glasses frame, I was lazy even though it would probably be quicker than trying to outline the second frame again. Why do they both have rosy checks? Well, why not? Ok, I do it because I like the pink and mint color combination and because it makes her look cute… and because I’m inspired by Fran.

Doodle #3- I sort of did 2 and 3 at the same time but finished this one up last. The eyes are a bit too far apart, it sort of makes her look like a bug. >.< But again, it’s a work in progress. I’m sure if I keep practicing I’ll look back at these and think, “what was I thinking?” Heh, just kidding, hopefully I’ll be positive and excited for improving. Of course I’m not very good at repeating drawings. So if I wanted to do a daily doodle of a cartoon me, she would look different every time. These three came out different because I actually intended it that way, but I’m pretty sure if I tried to duplicate either one of these, it wouldn’t happen. Plus, I have no idea how to handle different expressions yet. After I find the face, body will be next followed by scenes. Who knows?

… continue reading this entry.

I desperately wanted to call you my own, but sadly that won’t happen, little ball of fur.

Look how cute this cat is? I’ve always wanted a Siamese cat, or a Ragdoll one, they always have these beautiful blue eyes. And look at her little paws! Gah! I’ve never even seen her in person, only this picture and I already fell in love with her. My sister’s neighbor found her but couldn’t keep her, so my sister figured I could. After seeing this picture I really wanted to. I’ve always been a cat person, I have two at my parent’s house, but they would hate it if I took them away from the only place they’ve known as home. Besides, they would make horrible indoor pets. They enjoy the freedom of being able to own the front and backyard. And when I lived with my older sister, there were also two cats. They were adorable…minus a few things.

Here are some pros and cons that left me with not getting the cat.

Pros

• Adorable little things
• Having one is awesome
• They are independent
• Cuddle with you
• Great for small apartments….or big houses
• They always stay cute
• When they show you affection it’s the best thing in the world
• And just wonderful

Cons

• LITTER BOX!!!
• Shedding
• Destroying furniture (not necessarily a problem with every cat)
• Cost
• Again, LITTER!

Many more pros, but I went to my apartment office to ask about the deposit and how much more my rent would cost. 10 extra dollars a month which doesn’t sound too bad, but the deposit is 400. 400? And I only get half back if I move. -.- 400 is just not something I can do at the moment, and every pet deserves an owner that can actually afford to take care of them. So sorry little kitten, I wish I could have kept you but it just wasn’t meant to be. But it doesn’t mean I won’t ever be able to own a cat….one day I will. :3

Thanks for reading and commenting.