Inside Kimmy's Mind

Last week was just absolutely disastrous. One thing on top of another and I just hate that I had to have an emotional breakdown instead of just moving pass it while in the moment.

I was typing out a long blog entry and then I noticed that rehashing what happened word for word did more harm than good. I had started this post on Friday but wasn’t in a blogging mood so I didn’t finish it. I said I would always blog both the good and bad things that might happen in my life but I think paraphrasing might be better in this case.

-career fair was a bust, spent so much energy on being bummed about that, that I wasn’t focused on anything else
-Forgot I had a test on Friday after work, couldn’t concentrate on work which lead to wrong orders and tea over flowing
-Bombed said test, only to find out later that I could have rescheduled it during the next exam and actually make time to prepare for it.

So that’s the gist of my dark week, and all while that was happening I also hadn’t seen the bf in two weeks. -.- I don’t see myself as a high maintenance girl, but not seeing him made me uneasy. We’ve both been busy and any time we did talk it was just me complaining about jobs and school. I’m sure that was starting to get annoying. Even I was getting annoyed by my negative and whiny rants. Sometimes ranting is good, other times it can be too much if that’s all that’s said.  I don’t know if it was because everything seemed to be extremely shitty that I let my worrying carry over to other aspects of my life, but I knew I didn’t want to continue feeling like this. I finally decided to tell him about it, and who would have thought…communicating actually helps. -.- Guys are so good at causing us girls to over analyze things. They’re also really good at making those doubts disappear, but only when they know something is bothering you. He was so comforting, I should have known better than to let my insane thoughts get the better of me. Both with school and my relationship. I should give him more credit, even though there are times we misunderstand each other there are also more moments when he knows exactly what to do. He says the perfect things to ease my worries.

Anyway, I’m gonna try to be more optimistic. When you have a negative mindset then of course it will ruin your day from start to finish. It’s hard, especially when things seem overwhelming but I can’t undo what has happened, I can only learn from it and hope to god it doesn’t happen again.  Oh, I want to thank Melissa from Cloudy Chase for coming to have lunch with me last Thursday during my break. It totally made my day, also I still have your birthday present so we must get to get together soon. <3<3

I also got to spend time with the weirdos on Saturday, it was the bro’s birthday as well. We went to Choo Choo Sushi for lunch, then we went to Rustika to pick up his birthday cake and shared a tres leches parfait. We also spent some time with Kat during her break and had some berripop frozen yogurt. Good times.

Here’s to being optimistic. :3 Thanks for reading and commenting.

So Kat shared this video with me, it’s a look into how humans react to a first kiss with a stranger. I mean, granted these people are strangers and they don’t have any feelings for each other, but it was still interesting to see how they reacted to kissing. I mean a kiss is one of the most amazing/intimate things two people can share.

And they could very well just be actors, but it still made me think of how I reacted to my first kiss….to all my first kisses. I mean, it’s strange to think back on it. When I was junior high, I would watch every romantic comedy and get that warm fuzzy feeling whenever I saw the characters kiss for the first time. I mean, that’s what the movie is leading up to, I mean besides the conflict and resolution. I was obsessed with the first kiss scenes in movies. I would imagine what my first kiss would be like. (FYI-I wouldn’t find out until I turned 18, which is pretty embarrassing to admit. >.<)  Anyway, my point is that I found first kisses/ kissing in general to be magical. Since that first kiss, I’ve had a total of 6 first kisses. But only 3 were with guys that became boyfriends, but that’s a story for another entry. I mean, I know that movies have this unrealistic vision when it comes to romance, but sometimes reality can let in moments that are so perfect that you feel as though you’re watching them on a screen.

 In a relationship a first kiss can be nerve wracking, you’re embarrassed yet eager to kiss this person you’re beginning to like. Kissing them for the first time is scary, you don’t know where hands should go or the rhythm of that person yet. You want them to want to kiss you again, but you don’t feel the need to show off in a first kiss. These strangers were only going to make out once…I mean for this video anyway. So of course they wanted the other person to walk away thinking, damn that person can really kiss. In the film above, I feel as though the goal was to impress not only the person they were kissing but also whoever ended up watching the video.

That’s all I wanted to share in this entry. Oh, and I’m sure if you’ve seen this video then you’ve probably seen a parody or two that follows it. Some made me laugh, some were a little too much. But what’s your opinion of the video, or first kisses in general? Until next time…

Thanks for reading and commenting.

So for several years, my sisters and I would go to conventions to see Japanese rock bands in concert. But as we got older we slowly stopped attending Oni-con. (08, 09, 10) So when my sister asked me to come with her to Anime Matsuri, I just kept remembering all the annoying things that went with going to conventions.

But I decided to tag along with her and Jody, the boyfriend was helping out a friend during the con so I got to hang out with him as well. He managed to get me in to the staff section of the cosplay contest, so that was interesting to see. I admire those that are capable of making their own costumes. And seeing how much they shine when they are portraying a favorite character is just nice. They looked so confident and happy showing off their creations. I finally got to wear my Alice March Hare costume that I had made for Halloween, but I still haven’t finished it. The hat and feet still need to be done, and I need a yellow vest and the jacket I made is too snug. We were also able to get in the front of the line for the (Nightmare) concert. But I was never able to make it all the way through a jrock concert, and the minute some idiots started to crowd surf I knew I wouldn’t be up front for long. Mija can withstand it, she’s always been capable of that. Luckily in this venue, there were stands we could sit in, I’m more of a laid back concert goer…aka old. My feet were hurting. >.< The boyfriend and brother-law found me and sat with me when they were taking pictures. Going to an event such as this with awesome people makes it so much more enjoyable. My favorite thing was having pictures of the bf and I taken in secret, Mija managed to snap a few and the bf’s friend took a “candid” one for us as well. I’m hoping to get my hands on a copy of those soon. This was the first time Mija and Jody would meet Igor, I originally wanted them to me in a more formal way. We’d go out to eat and they’d meet him like that, but seeing as he was there and they were there I couldn’t very well let them walk away without introducing him to them. And I think it worked out for the better, he wasn’t as shy as he usually is so the environment made it easier for him to be himself. So I’m happy they finally had the chance to meet him, and later on I hope the four of us can make time to go out to eat or something. (HINT HINT Mija!!!) I’ve been wanting a huge Totoro plushie for awhile now, but they are just so pricy and I would have felt bad spending a lot of money on a stuffed animal…even though he’s just so cute. Mija picked this one up for Kat and Me for 20 bucks. He’s a puppet, isn’t he adorable?! Too cute, one day I hope to get a giant one though…one day. So Sunday was the last day of the con, we had planned to go but when the bf got to my place super early he noticed he had misplaced his tag to get in. -.- He definitely was not pleased, so due to that and rain we decided to spend Sunday at my place. It started off by taking a nap. It was wonderful, we eat had a couch to ourselves and just stretched out and slept. Conventions are exhausting, and I only went to one day. After sleeping for like 5 hours or so we woke up and I attempted cooking chicken again, he did the dishes while I prepared the chicken. How freaking cute is that?! The chicken might have been over cooked a bit, but still edible…for me anyway. He didn’t seem to mind, but he could have eaten it for my sake. >.< I’ll get better at it. I also made another green bean casserole, not sure if he liked that either but he said it was good. While we ate, I had him watch Ruby Sparks, which if you haven’t seen that movie then you must. It’s a great play on the manic pixie dream girl trope, and I wish it was also a novel. We watched another movie and then sadly he had to catch his bus back to his place. The weekend was wonderful and I hate that it had to end, but ready for a great week.

Oh Happy St. Paddy’s Day, I didn’t really think about it when I got ready this morning. My belt and boots are an olive green so that counts, right? XD I’m craving donuts again, so I might just scurry on over to Shipelys for some studying fuel….or hope the wife does it for me. XD

Spring break doesn’t start until Monday but it’s now the weekend so I am officially on break! Aside from having to work still…and study. :/

So Thursday I had the chance to hang out with Cloudy Chase again, she and I had made plans to go to this event at a bar called Mongoose vs Cobra. But thanks to some lovely unforeseen changes we ate dinner at my place, made by my sister Kat, and then went out for some crepes at Sweet Pairs. I had such a wonderful time, and can’t wait to do it again. :3  Continuing on with the rest of the week, yesterday I went to a free concert at Discovery Green with the Boyfriend and his roommate. We arrived a bit late, but we managed to hear and see a bit, unfortunately the night ended on a sad note.It started off great, we listened to the last set of the French band La Femme, they were actually pretty good, and I bought macaroons for us. There were a few tents up that hosted different French cuisine. Sweet Pairs was there, which is where Kat works so that’s how I found out about the event. Those tasty macaroons are so expensive yet so yummy. Unfortunately when I was trying to share mine with the bf I ended up dropping them both. -.- I’m such a klutz, all we could do was laugh it off. They were from a place called Bite Macarons, a shop located here in Houston. I didn’t even take any pictures, bad blogger! >.< I was in such a hurry to eat them, I bought a chocolate, vanilla and a black currant. Mine was the chocolate and a dog ended up eating the piece that fell. I felt horrible, what if the dog got sick because of my clumsiness? I worried about the ewok dog for the rest of the evening.  The bf kept reassuring me that he would be fine, I told the owner I saw his dog eat something, just wasn’t sure what it was. >.< Hope he’s ok, dogs can get really sick if they consume chocolate. Went there for some cultured fun, ended up trying to poison someone’s dog. Moving on, after the concert we went out to eat at BB’s Cafe, I’m extremely picky when it comes to seafood. I only trust, my dad’s cooking. So once in front of the menu I was really scared, there weren’t any safe options. I sided with chicken tenders from the kids menus, it was already late and I know my stomach, it would have not ended well. On our way home, bf’s roommate got a call, his mother had an accident. It was a horrible way to end such a fun night and I hope his mother is doing well, I have yet to receive any news.

I’m off to finish up some Bio homework, enjoy your weekend. Here’s the full album of La Femme, give it a listen and let me know what you think. :3 Until next time….À bientôt!

Thanks for reading and commenting.

So I was planning on typing out a rant entry, but then I thought I should instead update with a more positive entry. So I trashed the other one, took a couple ootd photos and then started cooking chicken. Submitted today’s outfit to Modcloth’s Style Gallery.

So some good things happened today, my Bio test was pushed back two weeks! Thank goodness for that, now I can study for another test that I have on Thursday. But naturally I avoid studying and instead catch up on updating the blog. >.< I can’t help it, it had to be deleted over the weekend because something was causing it to glitch. Thankfully, Mija was able to bring it back to life and now I can update it again. Kat is spending the night with the weirdos so I had the place to myself. I totally forgot she wouldn’t be here so I attempted to cook dinner thinking she’d be home to make sure it was ok. It turned out pretty yummy for my first time cooking chicken. I was worried about not cooking it long enough. But I managed on my own and it feels good. Yay for becoming slightly more independent! That means, there is hope that my possible future children won’t be stuck with a mom who can only cook them different types of eggs.  I’ll leave dessert to Kat. So on Sunday, the boyfriend and I spent the day looking for a gift for his younger sister. She’s 5 or 6, he doesn’t get to spend lot of time with her so he wasn’t quite sure what she would like. We stood in the toy section at Target and he said, “I don’t want to buy her a gender specific toy. All this pink stuff, she will already have society telling her what toys a little girl should want to play with. She has enough dolls and such and I would like to give her something educational.” I thought that was nice, nothing gender specific. I mean, I liked playing with dolls as a child, but I also enjoyed playing with action figures and video games. We then went to the book section and browsed for awhile, he then noticed the film Coraline, I had him watch it a couple months ago and he really liked it. I told him about the book and how Neil Gaiman was one of my favorite authors. He then thought about getting both the film and novel. I thought it was such a great idea, start her young and show her that she should read the novel before watching the film adaption of a novel. However, we could not find a copy of Coraline, which sucks because I still think it’s such a cute gift idea. Plus I didn’t think he liked the movie that much, but I’m glad he did. Well anyway, even though we knew it was going to rain we biked all the way from my apartment to Target and then to Rice Village. I didn’t want to get stuck in the rain with my bike, but he’s all about not wanting to waste time getting somewhere. It was hot and really humid that day but after we spent some time at Half Price we went to Jason’s Deli and by the time we got out it was already 6 something and it was freezing outside. I did not bring a jacket, because like I said it was hot, but he did the boyfriend thing and gave me his jacket to wear. We then decided to wait for a bus, however the bus we needed to get home does not run on Sundays. So we had to catch one to the Med Center and then a bus from there to get to my apartment. I felt bad that he was walking around without a jacket, luckily we made it to my apartment. We agreed to not venture out on a rainy day again…unless we both had jackets and umbrellas. Silly boys.

I’d like to direct your attention to my sidebar, specifically the links under Blogger Friends. I made a new friend, and she blogs!!!! She’s so adorable and we have a lot of things in common. One being that we go to the same school, I found her on instagram. Hope that doesn’t make me weird. >.< Her name is Melissa aka Cloudy Chase.We met up last week and are hoping to make plans during spring break when we have more time. Her work schedule is opposite from mine, so meeting up during the week isn’t exactly easy. I’ve always found it difficult to make friends with chicks. Aside from my sisters I only have two chicks that have been my friends since high school. But so far I have yet to make any lasting college friends. So here’s to making new friends and attempting to cook more dishes!!! That’s all for now, until next time. 🙂

Thanks for reading and commenting.

I had myself a wonderful Valentine weekend and I hope yours was just as wonderful.

I seem to be filling my planner with more things than just my weekly plans. This is how this past week turned out, with Friday being Valentine’s I had a busy weekend. First off, I worked on Friday so I had to rush home and shower so I could be ready for The Boyfriend. We just stayed in and watched movies and ate sweets. For Valentine’s I made him heart shaped teabags, because he’s a tea fanatic. I also gave him a bike necklace that I bought at Houston Mini Pop Shop. I’ll post about that sometime soon.  And once again, I’m respecting his wishes to not be uploaded to the internet. So his face remains covered. Saturday we met up and went out to eat, we went off in search of discount candy. He bought me some washi tape and scrapbook paper, he’s adorable. We also went bike riding on our quest for cheap candy. He bought me peanut m&m’s, which are my favorite. I made him watch the romantic comedy About Time, an adorable movie btw. I love that he humors me and watches all these girlie movies but I promised him the next time we will watch a thriller or an action movie. XD This is the first time I’ve ever been in a relationship on Valentine’s and it was nice but I’ve always thought the holiday was nice. I don’t think there should just be one day devoted to showing how much you love someone. Family, friends…ect. You should try to show that love every day in some way, it doesn’t have to be in some extravagant way but something as simple as a phone call or a letter can make someone feel good. But I really wanted to take part in the cheesy aspect of this holiday. So instead of giving sweets I went with the heart tea bags. I love crafting, so I picked out different types of teas and deconstructed them and created heart shape bags for the tea leaves. When I gave it to him, he was surprised and seemed to have really liked it. He wanted a cup of tea right then and there. He loves handmade gifts…at least that’s what he’s told me. >.< I also knitted him a heart, because frankly I adore knitting them and it was the perfect decoration for the jar. The necklace was made by an artist I met at Houston Mini Pop Shop. Again, I will mention more about that event in my next post. But just know he is amazing!

This was an amazing weekend, but now I return to work and homework and my feet are killing me. >.<  Today’s song is most fitting…A Day with You by Daniela Andrade [audio:http://numb.honey-vanity.net/wp-content/uploads/2014/02/ADayWithYou-DanielaAndradeMusic.mp3]

Thanks for reading and commenting.

I recently purchased a planner for 2014 as an attempt to be more organized. I mean, I don’t usually have trouble remembering deadlines or anything and I just used the calendar on my cell to remind me. But this year I wanted to return to having a written planner. And I found the best one ever! It’s a moleskine planner with Vader on the cover. It was the only  one at Barnes&Noble so I took it as fate.

How perfect is this planner? A planner to match my pocket Star Wars notebook, the Moleskine site doesn’t seem to offer the Vader planner online, but they have other ones if you’re interested. Zie Darling always posts pictures of her planner, and I love how colorful it is. I always wish I was an artists so I could doodle cute drawings everywhere. And looking at her pictures makes me want to go shopping for post-its and washi tape. Or just office supplies in general.  I also wanted to buy a planner for my boyfriend as a birthday present. I wasn’t going to mention him, but now I feel it is safe to do so. Yes, I’m dating again. I don’t intend to go into too much depth, but I’ll share a few things here and there. Like, his birthday weekend. XD He came over Saturday and we watched movies, I bought him cheesecake which he made the mistake of leaving what’s left (it is now all gone) of it at my place. :9Then Sunday we went bike riding all over the place, it was exhausting yet so much fun. We went to the UH campus for my McAlister’s meeting and then from there we went to Les Givral’s Kahve. FYI: He doesn’t like having his picture taken nor does he want it uploaded to the internet. So for now this is all I will post. It was a lot of fun spending this past weekend with him, even though I was sore from using muscles I didn’t even know existed, bike riding is so much fun. It always was when I was little, but now that I can do it as an adult it makes me even more happy. Even though it is a hassle to bring my bike down the stairs and back up when I come home, when I go bike riding with him those little hassles don’t seem to matter,  I live in a second floor apartment and I keep my bike on the balcony to get it out of the way. Eventually I hope to be able to lift my bike without any problems. But until then, I will have to look like a weakling whenever I try to get it on/off the bus. >.<

This other picture is after we went to see the movie Her, it was a cold night and he was a gentleman and gave me his extra jacket to wear under my coat. I forgot to return it to him before we parted ways that night so I held it hostage until the next time we saw each other. Super comfy jacket, may have even slept in it. >.< Anyway, so I had a great weekend, ended it with a family dinner. Kat and I don’t get to see our parent’s/the weirdos too often so when we do it’s always nice.

So do you just use your cell calendar to keep yourself organized, or do you prefer actually using a planner? If you do, then do you have a particular planner layout you like, or am I the only one who is picky? XD That’s it for now, I’ll update again soon.

Yesterday was like any other day…I got up, got dressed, caught my bus and went to school. Normal day.

Not exactly normal.

I’m used to not being noticed, but recently I have been…well the opposite of invisible. Now, I am still standing by my whole wanting to remain single for awhile. But for some reason I must have a sign above my head that reads, “She’s open for business! Ask her out!”

Alright, maybe that’s a bit over the top. But it is how I feel at the moment.

So earlier this week, a guy, who I will now refer to as bike boy, I had seen bike boy a couple days earlier. I was sitting at a bench when he rode by on his bike and stared at me and smiled. Fast forward to later that week. He came up to me when I was in the middle of discussing a class assignment with a classmate when all of a sudden. Bike boy stops and stands near us for a bit not saying anything. He finally speaks to us. My classmate leaves and then he and I chat for awhile. We discuss majors and school life. He is from Siberia and is a Computer Science major I believe. Anyway, after we finish I say he asks for my email.

We met up in between classes one day. Walked around, talking a lot and then when I had to get to my next class. He then proceeds to take out a bouquet of flowers.

FLOWERS! I have never received a bouquet of flowers before. So you could imagine how shocked I was when he handed them to me. He told me he found me very interesting, I stood there like an idiot. Not exactly sure how he could find me interesting after talking to me twice. I had no idea what to say. He then left, saying see you soon and I was left holding flowers and still having another class to go to. Very weird. There is a culture gap so I’m not exactly sure what he meant by giving me these flowers and I really don’t want to assume anything.

 But if he is doing this as a signal that he is interested in me then I must say, where was this when when I wouldn’t mind having a blonde green eyed guy with an accent hit on me? I would be lying if I said this wasn’t an ego boost. Because, well it is. I mean, women want a guy to just be upfront and not play the whole guessing game. But the minute I decide I want to be single things start happening. There is just no winning. After this happened I felt as though I was starring in a Kdrama, because things like this just don’t happen in real life unless it is scripted.  As far as I know, flowers could mean a completely different thing to him. Still think the whole situation is bizarre though.

 Is it possible for members of the opposite sex to remain just friends, am I naive for hoping there is? Or will feelings on either side always end up developing and end up ruining any chance of that happening?

I wanted to share this entry’s song at the beginning of the post. Great opener. Bring on the cheese. XDRachel Brown- Bumblebee.[audio:http://numb.honey-vanity.net/wp-content/uploads/2013/02/RachelBrown-BumblebeeOfficialVi.mp3]

 

 

… continue reading this entry.

That moment where you rather redo a moment to prevent from hurting someone than pretend as if everything is alright. If only time travel were possible in this case. Sadly, it’s not.

I am not ready to be in a relationship…with anyone at the moment. And for some reason I keep putting myself in such difficult positions that end up hurting people I really care about. Why? Why do I do this? Does the universe find this hilarious? So what if I went through high school unscathed by the cruel ridiculous notions of teen drama. I had hope that my early adult life would go the same way, without unwanted drama. But that’s not going to happen.

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